1211: The Marrissa Games – Chapter One

Title: The Marissa Games
Author:  Marissa the Writer
Media: Books/Movies/Video Games
Topic: The Hunger Games / Portal
Genre: Not Listed
URL:  Chapter One
Critiqued by agigabyte and Ghostcat (with special guests Goddess, Cain, and Syl)

Goddess: We’re back with Syl and *Presses button on wristpad* Ghostie!

Ghostie: YOU CAN’T MAKE ME! :runs away:

Syl: And in three, two, one…


:Ghostie appears, looking very confused:

Syl: I don’t care how many times you do that, it never gets old.

Ghostie: :grumbling: Stupid transporter chip.

Goddess: *Smirks* Works every time. *Smirks again just for Cerbersheep*

Ghostie: I should get it taken out, then what’ll you do?

Syl: By who, that idiot with the parasite fetish?

Goddess: I’ll just order a bunch of Redshirts to smirk at it and escape while they’re doing so.

Ghostie: I guess it’s easier to leave the damned thing in. But I’m keeping the cashmere headdesking desk as compensation.

Cain: Thank you! Someone ordered a hundred of them, and we have no idea what to do about. I suppose we could donate them to the library. *Types on his wristpad* There, Redshirts should be delivering them now.

Syl: Just stick them in one of the levels, that place goes on forever. There’s an entire lake in there, so try to avoid that spot.

agig: Yeah, I encountered a giant fucking squid when I was exploring the Library. It didn’t attack me, but it scared the hell out of me.

Ghostie: That’s just Marco, he likes to play with the new people. And hug them, but that never ends well.

Cain: Thankfully, I retconned agig back here and back to life.

Ghostie: Should we bother doing a recap of the first … whatever it was?

Cain: Well, seeing as it was just some character… Er, I’m sorry, “cariture” Bios, I think we’ll be fine.

Syl: You did promise me a full bar, remember.

Goddess: We did? One moment, let me go view the transcript.

…Yeah, I’m not seeing it.

Syl: I think it was implied. I’m not doing this for free.

Cain: Meh. Just take this *Hands over a vault card* When you exit the hangar, you should see a large, unarmed ship. Just go inside and hand this card to the Rockman at the entrance, and he’ll show you to a vault with a hundred Kilograms of gold, and two hundred of silver.

Syl: But will there be booze?

Cain: You can trade out five kilos of gold or ten of silver for one bottle of beer. Other exchange rates can be found inside the ship.

Syl: Damn, your bar charges more than a Terran hotel. I’ll just keep the gold and silver and steal Ghostie’s booze.

Ghostie: HEY!

Goddess: Speaking of, I’ve got some Pan-Galactic Gargleblasters for once we start.

Ghostie: I’ll take one of those Gargleblasters.

Goddess: *Hand over Gargleblaster* here you are!

Cain: *Clears throat* We should probably start now.

Syl: Fine with me.

Ghostie: :drinks deeply but gives a thumbs-up:

Chapter 2: The Big Reep

Get reddy guys becos heers chapter 1 of



Not a Verb Counter: 265

agig: No. That’s not what it sounds like at all. Shut the fuck up.

Syl: What is that even supposed to be?

Cain: *Puts his hand up to his ear, where there is a previously unnoticed comm device, like with every Gemini military member* Yeah? Okay… *Takes hand off his ear* Can’t tell you that. Our local science team is dedicating a lot of resources to figuring it out, though.

If u dont no who I am, then u better reed ITS MY LIFE! first.

Not a Verb Counter: 266

Goddess: First sentence in the fucking narrative, and she’s already breaking the fourth wall, and it’s not comedic.

Ghostie: I’ve read it, no one is missing ANYTHING by not reading it. :holds out glass for refill:

Goddess: *Refills glass, and pours everyone else glasses as well* Cheers. *Takes a sip*

Syl: Are you sure this isn’t one of those note-things authors use? I’ve seen many of those.

Cain: Well, either it’s part of the narrative, or it’s an author’s note that looks like part of the narrative.

agig: So what you’re saying is that either it’s shit or it’s shit.

Ghostie: With this author, it’s probably the second one.

Sum dum flamer trolls

Cain: She spelled flamer properly! SOMEONE GET SOME CONFETTI IN HERE!

*Confetti rains down from nowhere*

Ghostie: It’s a party! WHEEE!! :falls backwards:

Syl: Please don’t embarrass me in front of my friends.

Goddess: Wait, do you mean we’re your friends or that your crew is reading this? Or something else entirely?

Syl: You gave me booze and money, and I got to draw all over Ghostie. That makes us friends.

Goddess: I’m okay with that.

gotted it removed but it kame bak an bit them on the buts becos its still on ther bad reivew sites!

Not a Verb Counter: 268

Cain: *Is crestfallen* And then she proceeded to spell everything else wrong.

Goddess: I suppose that “bad review sites” is correct, since we review bad fics.

Ghostie: Review, mock, same difference.

So reed it there but dont listen to the HORRIBLE COMANTS.

Not a Verb Counter: 269

Ghostie: But our comments are the best part!

Affer the kill of Assirram all the plases in Portal Labs was good. Me an Wheatly an are dotter Chell Junor were livin in happy a long with Atbod an P-Lass hoo were the good guy kids of the KERK ROBOTS ALTAS AN P-OBDY!

Not a Verb Counter: 271

Cain: Now I’m really confused. Either she just continued that author’s note-thing with nothing to tell us, or it really was part of the narrative.

Syl: Looks like narrative, but sounds like a note-thing. Is it both?

Ghostie: It’s Marrissa the Writer; this is what all her shit looks like.

Cain: *Looks a bit green* Damnit, you just gave me flashbacks to the Scarred Feces.

Ghostie: I suggest drinking more until it goes away.

Cain: Agreed. *Downs another glass of Gargleblaster, and refills it*

“Marrissa Chell bloody Junor is soddin Hungary an weer out of buggerin taters!”

Goddess: Oh, “Wheetly,” how I didn’t miss you.

Syl: That’s why I never drink too much. It affects your aim. :throws empty glass at Wheatly:

Goddess: Cain retconned us so our aims aren’t affected by drinking.

Wheatly britished into the room.

Not a Verb Counter: 272

Ghostie: Ugh. I forgot about the “britishing” thing.

Cain: And the happying. That one’s the worst.

Ghostie: Verbing does odd things to English.

Chell Junor was old enuff now to eat taters wich is good becos I didant lick beast feedin her becos my chests is already reel big an squishy so they was to much with milk.

Not a Verb Counter: 273

Ghostie: A Sue complaining about being too well-endowed? That’s new.

Goddess: It’s actually taking a minuscule bit of the edge off.

Syl: Not much, though. All this “licking” things. :shudders:  It’s weird to associate babies and breasts with licking in the same statement.

Also sutimes wen Wheatlye wood hug me the milk wood come out an electroshok him!

Not a Verb Counter: 274

Goddess: Still not sure how he hugs her- oh wait, never mind. Not sure that bit was thought through.

Syl: She has electric milk?!?

Goddess: Also not sure that bit was thought through.

Ghostie: Nothing in this fic has been thought through.

“We cant be owt of taters Wheatly thats are only foods.” Portal labs had a ton of zombie taters (if u eat them an ded u will be zomboy spect for me sins I have powers an one is if I eat them an dead I just go back to alive).

Not a Verb Counter: 277

Goddess: Hey, look, the Sueomitor is bugging out. I think she broke it. That bodes well. *Takes a sip of Gargleblaster*

Ghostie: Ye gods, it’s the zombie taters! :takes gulp of Gargleblaster:

Syl: I thought you liked zombies. You prattle on about them constantly.

Ghostie: These are totally different.

“Cheek an see for urself, there all wankin goned!”

Not a Verb Counter: 278

Cain: I bet we’re going to get a lot of innuendo.

Ghostie: Plenty of opportunity. For a robot with no genitals, Wheatley is constantly wanking things.

Syl: :giggles:

I wentd to cheek an wat I saw was Wheatly was rite! THE ATERS WAS GONE!!12213/

Not a Verb Counter: 279

Ghostie: Numbers? IN THE NARRATION? :looks around: Where’s my crowbar?

Syl: I left him back in the Library. I didn’t think it was a good idea to be in a confined space with you and a long metal bar.

Cain: *Shudders* The punctuation. Oh, god, why does she end in slashes?! Why?!

“I bet those sods Atbode an P-las used um to make bloody grugs an beer!3 I herd they got drugs an beer from Demoanman an turned to bugger bloke jerks!555” I o-mouthed at Wheatlys accuse, Atbod an P-las weer good guys I thot. Gess they hadant escaped the sins of the parants affer all.

Not a Verb Counter: 280

Cain: I think this is the first of the “more twists than you can shak a stik at”.

Ghostie: :headdesk: They are robots! How or why would robots need or want to make drugs or beer?

Goddess: We didn’t get answers in ITS MY LIFE or TF2 so we probably won’t get any here.

“But wifout taters… we will strafe!!!!~!!!@#1!!!!”

Not a Verb Counter: 281

*A chat window pops up on the main screen*

agigabytetheadmiral, 1822 standard military time: I’ve been rendered mute.

Ghostie: While I’m here I should collect these spare punctuation marks for the Library’s box.

I said smart an Wheatly got scarred.

Not a Verb Counter: 282

Ghostie: Smart? Her? :snorts

Cain: How does he randomly get scars from hearing that. For that matter how does he get scarred at all?

Ghostie: If I had Mr. Crowbar I could give him a few dents. That’s kind of like getting scarred.


Ghostie: :headdesk: No, it really isn’t. “British” isn’t a language or a verb.

Syl: Wait a second. You speak Japanese.

Ghostie: Yeah, so?

Syl: So Japanese is spoken by people from Japan. Wouldn’t people from Britain speak British?

Ghostie:  … Anyone want to explain how wrong that is?

Cain: Basically, English, the language the British use most often, is in different dialects depending on the country.  So British English is a dialect, not a language. Yeah, it’s pretty confusing, but not as bad as Galactic Common, which has dialects for just about every country of every inhabited planet.

Syl: That’s really confusing, but I think I get it now.

Goddess: I love the part where she turns around and misspells “what” as “wat”.

“We must go to surfase an live there form now on.” I piked up Chell Junor who was cryin from hungry an we wnet to the helevator. The vator started goin an I looked at Portal Labs for the lastest time an cried a littel but not to much sins Im not a goth emo!

Not a Verb Counter: 286

Syl: She’s not a what?

Cain: A major plot of IML was GLaDoS trying to use some convoluted plan to turn Marissa into a Goth Emo. Was that before or after the roborump?

Ghostie: It involved getting a brain-damaged Chell to do a provocative dance, then Marrissa getting all depressed, and then Chell had her rump shot off so she couldn’t Booty Quake anymore. Or something like that.

Cain: And after the loss of her ass, GLaDoS (who had apparently survived being at ground zero of an explosion that killed everyone else except the two sisters and GLaDoS) convinced Chell to replace her ass with the robotic remains.

Ghostie: I think that explosion was the third or fourth time GLaDOS committed suicide.

Syl: …What?

Goddess: Don’t bother thinking about it. Those two are the only ones who have anything resembling understanding of it.

Syl: I feel dizzy just listening to them.

agigtheadmiral, 1826 Standard Military Time: Don’t worry, everyone does.

Outsyde was lots of wheet an the sun an bright noses. I walked round an used my super deteictve power to serch for clues on were we cold get food. Jus tthen sum uguly guys in wite colthes an guns runned up at us.

Not a Verb Counter: 287

Cain: I’d think you’d have the power to turn wheat into bread. Or something.

Syl: It’s a very involved process. Better just to steal a loaf than try to make one from scratch.
Cain: Yeah, but this is Marissa-Sue, you’d think she could just wave at it.

Ghostie: Don’t give her any ideas. She might turn it all into beer and drugs.


agigtheadmiral 1827 Standard Military Time: Plz stahp.

Y u do dis.

Ghostie: She doesn’t even make an attempt to integrate the worlds, just smacks them into the middle of a Reaping.

agigtheadmiral 1827 Standard Military Time:  Ahem.

It’s called a reeping.

Ghostie: Don’t make me get up off this floor and hit you.

agigtheadmiral 1827 Standard Military Time:   Who’s the former leader of a successful black ops team, with some of the best combat training the Gemini has to offer?

I thought so.

Ghostie: Yeah, but I’m too drunk to know better. Plus I can bribe Syl into doing it for me.

Syl: No, you bloody well can’t.

agigtheadmiral 1827 Standard Military Time:


black ops.

Ghostie: I have ninjas! : whistles:

:long pause:

Ghostie: Oh, right. I forgot we weren’t in the Library. Never mind.

An he punched me in the face! Wheatly got alls angary an I got soooooo mad I was gonna kill him good.

Ghostie: Fists too slow, must punch faster!

“FLAMER RAGE!!E” I said I didant no why but then I got a new power that mad the guy on fire.

Not a Verb Counter: 288

Syl: Ghostie does that when she’s angry. :looks down: Is this where you got that from?

Ghostie: NO!

Goddess: I think she’s in denial about inspiring this fic.

Ghostie: … I don’t think there would be enough Gargleblasters in the known universe to wash away the shame.

Me an Wheatly an Chell Junor all lolled as the dum jerk b***** bruned to death then he died.

Not a Verb Counter: 290

Goddess: “I’m just going to laugh as this guy I set on fire dies an agonizing death.”

Syl: By burning him to death until he died. It’s better than burning you to death until you live, but not by much.

Onse we were done lolling at the him I inspeted the copse for why he was here.

Not a Verb Counter: 292

Syl: Is she a necromancer? Because I don’t think there’s many other ways to get information out of a charred corpse.

agigtheadmiral 1827 Standard Military Time:


What about

The other guys?

Ghostie: Character Blob. They must have gone up in one big WHOOSH!

Thre was a note that said “I am Piece Keeper for Critaks United if fownd pleese retarn to the justace bildin in Distract 12”. It was a strange.</blockquote>

Not a Verb Counter: 294

Syl: A note that survived this raging inferno of rage? What was it written on, asbestos?

agigtheadmiral 1827 Standard Military Time:


The note surviving

Is even more of a strange than what’s written on it.

Ghostie: But not quite as strange as a squad of Peacekeepers wandering around a wheatfield just in case someone happens to pop out of an underground base.

 “Wot the bloody wank

Syl: He might want to see a doctor about that.

Cain: The doctor would probably say something to anger Marissa-Sue, and get MEGA PAWNCHED.

is Distact 12 an the Reepin?” I nodded hed with a “I dunno” look on my fase at Wheatlys q.

Ghostie: It’s odd, but Wheatley is actually asking an intelligent question for once. They shouldn’t know what any of those things are, but Marrissa will probably pull the information out of her ass.

“Maybee we shuld go there an fin out, there cold be food an stuff!”

Not a Verb Counter: 295

Ghostie: Go where? YOU’RE IN A WHEATFIELD!

So we goed up to a flyin bike car that was there, it musta belonged to the piesekeeper.

Not a Verb Counter: 296

Syl: Mmmm, pie.

Ghostie: There’s only one bike? Did the Character Blob have to share? And why did they drive it to this exact spot in the middle of nowhere?

Syl: Secret kissing party?

Ghostie: … That’s not a thing.

Syl: No, the first rule of a secret kissing party is to never talk about the secret kissing party.

Goddess: You’ve watched that movie?

Syl: I’ve had a lot of time on my hands and the Library has an impressive DVD collection.

I got in an buckled op (AN: ALWAYS DO OR YULL END UP LIEK KATTY SMITHEREENS!!342!!!)

Goddess: Didn’t she get eaten by Wulf? How do these things correlate?

Syl: What is a Katty Smithereens?

Cain: The girlfriend of The Scot (actually the Scout from Team Fortress Two) who got eaten by his Half-Dog brothers.

Syl: … That doesn’t help me, but I’m just going to nod like I understand.

The hoovercraft was flewing sooooooo fast that we was goin like turbo speed.
‘OMG THS IS 2 FAST!”  an Wheatly got skick an barfed robot stuff.

Not a Verb Counter: 298

Cain: Excuse me. *Walks into a side room, and comes out with a counter* Here we are.

Human body robot counter: 5

Ghostie: I guess it makes a kind of twisted sense for a robot that can eat and drink to be able to vomit. Not really sure why you would build a robot to do that, but it could probably be done.

Chelll Junor lolled at her funny dad an I thot bout how luckey I was to hab such a grate family.

Not a Verb Counter: 300

Ghostie: A touching family moment? :claps hands: That means someone’s gonna die!

Syl: It’s not like you to get so excited over the prospect of emminent death. Stop it, it’s very disturbing.

Goddess: Yeah, I’ve modified the transportation chip to omit weapons.

Syl: Good thinking.

A lowdown ton came up in the sites, it had bilidins an a mewdaoo an a biggly fense round it that went alls the way to Portal Labs an at the city center was a huge big screen plasma sayin “The Huger Games” ont it.

Cain: What’s a huger game?

Syl: It’s bigger than a little game?

I grabed Wheatly an Chell Junor an jumped of the hovvercrapt an did a doble summer-salt an landed in a crowded. The hoover crashed inot a girls hose an made it on fire.

Not a Verb Counter: 301

Ghostie: That’s what happens when you build your house out of Explodium.

Cain: Some idiot built my first fighter out of it.

Syl: :winces: Ouch.

 “OMG MY HOSUE!!!” The girl dum-faced. Sum guys lolled at her an one that was a hot guy (but I dont lick him that way my hart is for WHALETY!!3321~!!!)

Not a Verb Counter: 303

Syl: If you don’t like him, why were you licking him any way?

said “Dont wurry Katnise yull proally get reeped any way.”

Not a Verb Counter: 304

Ghostie: Spoiler alert!

agigtheadmiral 1827 Standard Military Time:

Oh for fucks sake


Reeped, Knatniss, Critiks Uni?

agigtheadmiral 1827 Standard Military Time:


Ghostie: :attempts shrug: Dunno.

I needed the down lo fast. This was too confussin. Befour I cold ask sombody a big wite guy gotted on the stage eh had a meen fase and blood was comin ot of his.

Not a Verb Counter: 305

Syl: Out of his what? Where was the blood coming from?

Cain: Probably his everywhere.

Syl: He won’t stay white for long, then.

“Hey everyboddy! Yur liter Piesedent SNow!!!”

Cain: What? A liter of SNow Pie?

Syl: Sounds good to me. I really want pie every time I see this name.

Sum cheered bu other boooooooooooooo at him so armore guys killed them with guns an noone cared becos they was temptin fate.

Not a Verb Counter: 306

Goddess: Don’t think she knows what tempting fate means.

Syl: My brother keeps his guns in an armoire. I don’t think he considers it tempting fate, just keeping the firearms out of the hands of the crew.

“As u no, today we gonna Reep

Not a Verb Counter: 307

Cain: There are some unfortunate implications with the phrasing. Please make it stop. *takes a sip of Gargleblaster*

Ghostie: It helps if you pretend the word “Reep” is being spoken by Beaker from the Muppets.

a gurl an guy to be in are Hunger Games! For the girl…” It pot out a peace of name paper an said “ITS PRIMOSE EVERGREEN!!”

Not a Verb Counter: 308

Ghostie: So shocked. Much surprise.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOO SHES ONLY 120 YEERS OLD I GO INSTED!” Sumon yelled an ran to Peisent Snow it was……. THE DUM GIRL!

Cain: Primrose is a hundred and twenty years old?!

Syl: She’s aged well. Doesn’t look a day over one hundred and ten.

Ghostie: That’s President Snow. Primrose is the girl.

Syl: Oh! Wow, I bet her soul-energy would fetch a high price as a youth serum.

“No Katiss Evergreen u cant becos yur fecal inconinentense is bad.” Present Snow said with loud.

agigtheadmiral 1827 Standard Military Time:

The fuck is an



That word?

Ghostie: Incontinence. And it’s the wrong word; that applies to bladder function, not bowels. Since when does a medical condition affect the choice of Tributes?

agigtheadmiral 1827 Standard Military Time:

I know what it’s supposed to mean.

Ghostie: Which is rare for this fic, since half the time you can’t tell what the word is supposed to be.

“No I can do!” Katniss operated to him but then…. her pants gotted all full of poop an it was spillin owt an it was soooooooooo gross. Sum big guys threw Katiss in a garbag can so all the yucky poo woodant get on them any more.

Not a Verb Counter: 311

Syl: Suddenly I do not want pie any longer.

Goddess: Damnit. Not more of her Scatology.

Ghostie: This author really has a thing for fecal matters.

“U cant taked Pim!” She sayd from the can but it was fulla direrhea now so she locked like Oksar the Gruch but with poo instod of garbag.

Not a Verb Counter: 313

Ghostie: I don’t think it’s physically possible for one person to fill a garbage can with poop in one go.

Syl: Clearly you’ve never eaten in the Library cafeteria on Chili Night.

agigtheadmiral 1827 Standard Military Time:


We all lolled an funny Catnise Evergreen. A littel girl that was very coot (but not as coot as Chell Junor or me wen I wass her aged) went to stage.

agigtheadmiral 1827 Standard Military Time:

The fuck is a coot

Syl: I know what a “cooter” is according to Ghostie, but I really hope it isn’t the same thing.

Ghostie: :snerk: There’s a giant cooter on the stage!

“I now the guy dude. Step on up…… PEETA PEETA SANDWICH EATA!@!@!”

Goddess: He’s going to be called that the entire fic, isn’t he?

Syl: And I thought “Sylph” was a bad name.

Goddess: I like it. Granted, it’s not cool enough to become your callsign, but I like it.

Syl: I’ve never cared for it, but it’s grown on me. I’m too old to give myself a new name now.

The hot guy from erlair wents up an got a lovey look on his feces at sumone but I wasant sure who.

Cain: *Walks into the side room and comes back out with another counter*

Expressive Fecal Matter Counter: 1

Ghostie: I have a feeling that counter is going to get a real workout.

The reepin was overed so everyun was bout to leeve when Piesedent Snow yelled like a dinosore.

Ghostie: Hey, Gumdrop has a lovely voice! His version of “Candle in the Wind” will move you to tears.

“WATE! This yeer there ill be 3 tributtes.” Everone o-mouthed who wud be the next one. Then snow ponted at me.

Cain: What? Was that a spur of the moment thing or did he know that they were going to leave today, specifically, from their underground bunker, because the two previously friendly robots decided to do drugs?

Ghostie: If he was supposed to pick a third tribute, shouldn’t he draw a name out of the bowl? You can’t just point to a random person in the crown, especially someone who likely isn’t registered for the Reaping. I think she’s too old to even participate.


agigtheadmiral 1827 Standard Military Time:

Of course


If you’ll excuse me

I need to go order

A few thousand


*agig leaves*

Syl: What game is she going to play? I’ve seen numerous games played in the Library lounge, I’m quite fond of the one with the black and white cards that have funny phrases on them.

Ghostie: That’s Cards Against Humanity. I was wondering where my deck went to. I don’t think that’s what she’s going to play.



Goddess: What is this? A Polandball novelization?

Syl: Polandball? I don’t think I’ve played that.

Cain: It’s a type of political satire comic on the internet. Basically, the flags of countries are turned into circles, and become comic characters. A popular joke is about how “Polan cannot into space”. Yes, it’s spelled Polan. It’s often purposefully misspelled.

Syl: Oh, it’s like that show Ghostie watches, Hentai, but with balls and not people.

Ghostie: … Hetalia. It’s called Hetalia. Hentai is something completely different.

Goddess: It’s porn, I believe. We don’t have it in the universe we originate from.

Ghostie: The word means “pervert” or “perverted”, but yeah – it’s usually associated with animated porn.


Goddess: Yes, Ghostie, you have to come back too.

Ghostie: DAMMIT!

Syl: Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she behaves.

Cain: I really don’t want to think about how a pirate would do that. Please tell me that’s not how.

Syl: What did you call me?!? I am deeply offended; I’m a Free Trader, not a pirate.

Cain: …She didn’t deny it…

Ghostie: I’m scared.

Cain: I’m scared, too. Of Goddess. She’s become notably more likely to commit crimes since meeting Syl.

Goddess: *Shoots Cain in the foot*

Syl: I must be a good influence on her.

Cain: *Heals his foot with Retcannon*Told you.

Goddess: You deserved it

Syl: If it were me, I’d have aimed higher.

Goddess: No, then he’d have retaliated.

Syl: Good point. Pick your battle wisely, that’s what the Sisters always said. Bunch of crazies, but occasionally they had good advice.

Cain: Well, that was a productive riff. See you all next time!

Syl: *waves* Say “good-bye”, Ghostie!

Ghostie: :monotone: Good-bye, Ghostie.

Goddess: I think we broke her. Bye!


55 Comments on “1211: The Marrissa Games – Chapter One”

  1. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    The title keeps reminding me of Marisa Kirisame…

  2. The Crowbar says:

    Oh God Why!

  3. The Crowbar says:

    I’ve read this crap before!


    *Frantically turns the doorknob only to get electrocuted*

    I hate you, Lyle!

  4. AdmiralSakai says:

    “Marrissa Chell bloody Junor is soddin Hungary an weer out of buggerin taters!”

    *whap whap whap*

    Stop swearing at your kids, you sound like an abusive husband.

    Oh. Wait…

  5. AdmiralSakai says:

    Onse we were done lolling at the him I inspeted the copse for why he was here.

    Not a Verb Counter: 292

    Syl: Is she a necromancer? Because I don’t think there’s many other ways to get information out of a charred corpse.

    Nope, druid, seeing as she was talking not to the corpse but to a copse

  6. ASBusinessMagnet says:

    The Martian needs a scene where instead of Mark Watney accidentally depressurizing the Hab and killing all the potatoes and bacteria, the potatoes are just stolen by Atbod and P-Las. Oh wait, who am I kidding, it doesn’t.

  7. GhostCat says:

    Syl: You gave me booze and money, and I got to draw all over Ghostie. That makes us friends.

    Goddess: I’m okay with that.

    I’m not! Do you know how hard I’ve had to scrub?!?

    • agigabyte says:

      Goddess: Yes.

      Cain: Damn, that’s creepy. Note to self: Purchase an automatic scanner that scrubs the room I’m in of bugs. Also make sure it doesn’t have any connection with Pantheon Inc.

  8. AdmiralSakai says:

    Goddess: It’s porn, I believe. We don’t have it in the universe we originate from.

    You don’t have porn in the universe you originate from?

    So…. what does EclipsePheniox do with his time, then?

  9. agigabyte says:

    Cain: In other news, I’ve made a Skype chat for LotD. Message me at adm_cain_dwight for an invitation.

  10. CrunchyRaptor says:

    Syl: Oh! Wow, I bet her soul-energy would fetch a high price as a youth serum.

    Hmm, I suppose I could stand to take a few millennia off. Taco canceled his credit cards, again, so would you accept partially gnawed vertebrae in trade? I have a very robust collection of those to barter with.

    • Syl says:

      I prefer hard currency, negotiable goods, or fine liquors instead of body parts. I guess I could chuck them at that parasite-fondler, but the bastard would probably enjoy it.

  11. TacoMagic says:

    The fuck is a coot?

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