1187: Killer7 Acrostic Poem Collection – Oneshot

Title: Killer7 Acrostic Poem Collection
Author: RemnantPsycho
Media: Video game
Topic: Killer7
Genre: Poetry, I guess. He doesn’t have any them genre-listed.
URL: Dan Smith
Garcian Smith
Harman Smith
Heaven Smile
Critiqued by SC

Hello, and welcome back to the Library of the Damned! I’m your host, SC, and this week… hmm. You know, I don’t really know what to call this week.

I suppose let’s go through my normal riff checklist and get the canon we’re focusing on out of the way: we’re doing a Killer7 riff today.

Killer7 is an action first-person rail shooter game written, designed and directed by Shinji Mikami and Goichi Suda, better known by his game industry moniker, Suda51. It was developed by Grasshopper Manufacture and published by Capcom for the GameCube and PlayStation 2 in 2005, and was the first Suda51 game to be released outside of Japan, making its way to worldwide shelves in July, a month after its release in Japan.

Killer7 is also responsible for perhaps one of the most bitchin’ soundtracks I’ve ever heard:

Something to note about Suda51: his games are FUCKING INSANITY. Another game series he’s well known for is No More Heroes – the story of Travis Touchdown, a washed out perverted ex-wrestler who one day got super drunk following the murders of his mother and father by his lover (who turned out to actually be his half-sister, awkward much), bought a laser sword online and decided to kill a guy with it, thereby unintentionally entering himself into an underground competition that pits assassins against each other in ranked duels to the death for money and fame. Also, he might have been bribed with sex by the organizer of these fights. Miiight have.

Killer7 certainly doesn’t break from this trend, although once you decode all the weirdness it actually does make sense in the end: The story is set in an alternate twenty-first century Earth where the world powers, under the guidance of the United Nations and an organization called the International Ethics Committee, create a treaty that ends all war, and to seal this pact, all nuclear weapons are fired into the sky and intercepted into each other in a historical event known as “Fireworks.” Following this event, the IEC moves on to shut down all air travel and public internet use, as a means to combat terrorism via forced plane crash, pandemic disease transmitting across country lines, and cyberterrorism, to name a few things. Air transportation is replaced by a system of intercontinental expressways. I can’t see any world where this would work out well, but hey, Suda51 is insane, what are you gonna do.

But, in spite of this, all is not well in the new peaceful world – US-Japanese relations are growing steadily more strenuous by the day, with a terrorist group of mutated suicide bombers known as the Heaven Smiles being formed, targeting the UN and IEC, with a singular goal to start a war between the US and Japan in the hopes of creating a Japanese-dominated world. In Japan, the political world is dominated by the UN Party and Liberal party, and the Heaven Smiles’ attacks cause the UN Party to start looking to sever ties between Japan and the western world, using a secret document known as the “Yakumo Cabinet Policy” to forward their goals, while the Liberal Party – the weaker of the two parties – would rather that not happen. Ironically, the Yakumo Cabinet Policy was written by a group called the Union 7, who were young members of the Liberal Party who went on to found the UN Party.

…So it’s the Liberal Party’s fault, in a way.

Things aren’t much better on the other side of things, as the US government is also itching to cut ties with Japan. Something about the country being more of a load than an asset. Even though one look at US-Japanese trade and business would indicate to the contrary.

You might think that this is possibly the stupidest thing the US has ever decided, and it would be if it was a decision made by loyal US government officials. But you can probably guess who was actually behind the decision. I’ll give you three attempts.

The organization called to act as the fixers for this little issue is the Smith Syndicate, also known as the Killer7. That name right there should tip you off that something is up, but in case it didn’t, I’ll give you the short version: The Killer7 is one man, Emir Parkreiner. He has a psychic third eye which absorbs the personae of people he kills, thereby assimilating them into himself. Emir was a student at Coburn Elementary School, a Japanese front on American soil for training child assassins. His mentor, Harman Smith, a god in the guise of a mortal man, turned him rogue and caused him to massacre the school. That included the human form of Harman, who Emir assimilated. After that, Emir began work as an assassin for the US, with Harman’s persona granting him the power to eliminate targets in very few hits. One of his missions was to take down the Union 7. Also known as the Smith Syndicate.

I just heard a very loud series of clicks, which tells me you all just figured out what’s going on here.

So skip forward about six deaths, and Emir, along with his new “friends” known by their new moniker, the Killer7, is now facing down the leader of the Union 7. In an ironic twist of fate, the leader of the Union 7 is another, younger human incarnation of Harman Smith, and this revelation shatters Emir’s psyche. Harman guilts Emir into suicide, but his broken psyche assimilates him in an attempt to recover itself, and so he is reborn with no memory as Garcian Smith. Young Harman Smith takes Garcian in and shelters him from his past, and Garcian and the Smith Syndicate personae become the New Killer7, led by Harman Smith (of fucking course), which the game is centered around. The core plot of the game is Garcian trying to put the pieces together about his past, but to do that, he also has to deal with the tensions between the US and Japan, AND deal with the Heaven Smiles, who are led by Harman Smith’s eternal nemesis, Kun Lan, and I am NOT going to try and figure THAT mess out, I’ve already made this riff too fucking long just explaining the overall plot and main protagonists.

When I said Suda51 was insane, I wasn’t kidding.

Anyhow, enough about the game. You can dredge your way through the details on your own time. This riff is my focus right now.

If you managed to remember my comments at the BEGINNING of my into, you’ll note that I was a bit uncertain of how to describe it. This is because… well, this isn’t really a FIC I’m riffing. It’s a series of acrostic poems about characters IN the game, all written by author RemnantPsycho. Acrostic poetry is taking a word or name, writing it vertically, and using each letter as a prompt, writing something that gives insight into the person/thing being described.

Problem: I don’t know if acrostic poems are even allowed on the site, and Fanfiction.net’s rules are confusing regarding the matter. First they say that no non-stories are allowed, but then they turn around and say, “poetry’s cool,” so I can’t tell if they’re breaking a rule or not.

What I CAN tell you, though, is that they’re a bit on the confusion side. About as much as the game itself, really. If you didn’t know the backstories of the characters being spelled out, these wouldn’t do much to help you. And since I only really went into the backstory of Garcian Smith, this means that y’all are probably gonna get pretty lost.

Let’s look at the first one, which is supposed to be about Dan Smith. He’s called “The Hellion,” and is one of the personae of the Killer7. He was a cop in his former life, and he can shoot demon bullets as a special power in his current “life.”

Dead inside, wry pointed smile

Dan doesn’t smile. Like ever.

“I AM smiling.”

Also, “dead inside” is the understatement of his entire existence.

Apprentice of the old man in white

Are you… talking about Harman? Because he wears all BLACK, dude.

Nerves of steel, six-shots, poised at the neck

I assume he’s talking about how Dan Smith rests his revolver on his shoulder when he’s not shooting it.

Silence falls in the wake of his collateral shot

God damn it, Dan, you’re supposed to kill your TARGET, not everybody in the vicinity!

Meet the Hellion himself.

By the way, Hellion means someone who misbehaves. Which, you know, Dan does, as is his job description.


The name of


Kind of a pointless statement. The Killer7 IS Harman.

What, you didn’t think the story could get anymore confusing? Yeah, the Smith Syndicate are all Harman’s incarnations. So is Emir, after he becomes Garcian.

So that was Dan. And hey, since I’ve been talking about Garcian so much, would’ve it be ironic if the next poem was about him?


Gazing through his blood lusting eyes

Probably more interested in finding answers than killing people, though. And by the way, Emir was the assassin. Garcian is just a personality who wouldn’t (consciously) hurt a fly.

All but one remain wide open.

That would be his third eye, and it’s closed because he hasn’t killed anybody worth assimilating recently.

Resuscitating the fallen, their leader and

Cleaner, showing no remorse for the dead

Garcian is NOT the leader of the Killer7. Yes, he’s the central character of the story, and yes, he’s the most dominant persona of the group, but Harman Smith is the leader. Period.

That part about him being a cleaner is accurate, though. If any of the other personae get fucked over during their mission, Garcian goes in and retrieves their dead asses for Harman to resurrect.

In the briefcase he carries, blind to its true content

Yeah, Garcian carries a big ol’ briefcase everywhere with him.

“Guys, you have no idea how fucking heavy this thing is.”

His briefcase carries the weaponry of the other Smith Personae, which is how Garcian finally learns that he killed the Smith Syndicate as Emir, and that he IS the Killer7 now. Oh yeah, and something I should note about the Personae: because they’re all assimilated into Emir, they don’t even realize that there’s more than one of them. Whoever is working in the field thinks that they’re the only assassin.

And who’s to say otherwise?


The hell does that even mean? Nobody can tell him that he’s not blind to the weapons he has in his briefcase? What?

Surrender to the Bloody Heartland

“Bloody Heartland” is Emir’s nickname. Probably as both a reference to him being the original persona of the Killer7, and to the fact that he killed them all.

Murderer of his own.

Well, in a manner of speaking.


The name of


Again, kind of a redundant sta-


*Alarms Blare*


*SC tosses a grenade into the hall; a second of screaming later, a loud explosion rings out*

As confusing as this riff is, I can’t really think of a creative way to desk with the DRD right now.

Alright, that was Garcian. Now let’s move on to the man himself, Harman Smith.

Here locked away, bound in an endless game

Adversary to the devil himself

Well, Harman and Kun Lan ARE gods, and Kun Lan IS supposedly the evil one.

Oh, I suppose I should give visual references, huh?

Don't call Harman Smith disabled, or you'll be disabled.

Don’t call Harman Smith disabled, or you’ll be disabled.

Supposedly, Kun Lan is the villain. Uh... okay.

Supposedly, Kun Lan is the villain. Uh… okay.

Room forbidden.

That’s what they said about the Chamber of Secrets, but that sure didn’t stop Harry Potter, now did it?

Man or God?

God, fucking around on earth as several men. And also a woman. (KAEDE Smith is the only woman in the Killer7, and no, I don’t know why her name is all caps.)

Either way, his syndicate

Always get the job done.

Except when they don’t, and then Garcian takes their dead asses to Harman, he slaps them upside their stupid faces, revives them, and tells them to DO BETTER, SHITCLOWN.

Never one for wasted words

He hardly ever talks if it’s not business, or if it’s not Kun Lan he’s facing off against, so i believe it.

Shifts the chess pieces across the board

Much like the world itself.


Isolated to a chair

Only in one of his mortal incarnations.

Though no one can contest to his power

Guy fights with a fucking sniper rifle as a CASUAL weapon, I don’t think anybody would be dumb enough to TRY and call him weak.

He grows old but never weary

He also doesn’t really grow old. Because, you know, godly.

And finally, we have the Heaven Smile poem:

Hiding right before our eyes

Translation: The Heaven Smiles are invisible to the naked eye, and only the Smiths can see them.

Echoing through the corridor

A monstrous laugh

Actually Kun Lan laughing THROUGH them, fun fact.

Vile teeth glow like menace


Eyes of contempt and hate, and joy

Mostly murder, though.

No one safe, but the creatures keep

Smiling all the way.

As per their moniker.

Making us retreat in all directions,

Idly waiting for the cackling to end so they can

Laugh us to the cradle of death

So they’re waiting to stop laughing so that they can laugh some more? Isn’t that kind of self-defeating?

Emerging, it is all too late

Maybe if Dan hadn’t blown all his fucking bullets on everything BUT his actual target…

So, uh… that’s it. That’s the end of the list. I’m more confused coming out than I was going in, but at least the riff is done now.

Thanks for reading, folks, and stay tuned for next time! Sadly, I can’t just sit around doing oneshots until my fingers fall off, so next week, we’ll be going back to LAFS. But after this mess, I think Alex’s bad logic would be a welcome sight as opposed to insanity logic. In the meantime, I’m SC, and I’ll see you next time!

…No but really, Suda51 is a motherfucking madman.


15 Comments on “1187: Killer7 Acrostic Poem Collection – Oneshot”

  1. AdmiralSakai says:

    Ok, wow. Whenever I think fanfiction couldn’t get ANY MORE PRETENTIOUS

  2. Making us retreat in all directions,

    That’s not retreating, that’s scattering.

  3. infinity421 says:

    Acrostic poems. Well, I’m pretty sure this is a first for the Library – don’t quote me on that, though.

  4. agigabyte says:

    Cain: Goddess?

    Goddess: Yeah?

    Cain: What did I just read and why did I just read it?

    Goddess: No idea.

    Cain: Damn.

    Goddess: If you’ll excuse me. *Stumbles to the brain bleach Jacuzzi*

  5. TacoMagic says:

    Acrostic Poem Collection

    *Quietly removes his eyes and hands them to Crunchy*

    I won’t be needing these anymore.

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