1135: Rei: A New Kind of Princess – Chapter One

Title: Rei: A New Kind Of Princess
Author: Osane
Media:  TV Show / Cartoon
Topic: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre:  Adventure / Romance
URL: Chapter One
Critiqued by agigabyte

agig: Welcome to this trollfic. I am here on my own, as the the others are all off on their assignments. Also,

Disclaimer: In case you were wondering, this is a thing. Not a hallucination. This was put into the world knowingly. That is all.

Chapter 1: Rei

Telepathic Message- ‘Thoughts’ >New Place or time

agig: What? What the hell does this key mean?

NOTE: I do NOT own Avatar!

agig: Yeah, no shit, sherlock. Thank god for that.

“REI! REI!” yelled the guard, Chu.

agig: Woah, slow down there! Could we at least have a bit of an explanation as to what the fuck is happening before you put in some dialogue?

“What is it Chu?” Rei asked innocently. She was brushing her elbow length black hair. It had red tips, for today, she was dressing as a Fire Bender.

agig: I’m suddenly regretting my request for an explanation of what the fuck is going on.

“Princess Rei, stop fooling around! If the king finds you, he’ll KILL you!”

agig: Well, that’s suddenly quite serious.

“Not before the wedding at least.” She applied red eye liner, it seemed a perfect match for her dark maroon eyes. ‘I don’t want lipstick XP’

Lipstick has leveled up.

What’s this? Lipstick is evolving!

Lipstick has evolved into Eyeliner!

“Rei, I wish I was pretty like you.” Chu said that with such self-loathing it sent a chill up Rei’s spine.

agig: Let’s check the Mary Sue identifier.

PRETTY AN HOT: Check

Dressing as members of different nations based on her whims: Check

Dark maroon eyes: Check

Making others loathe themselves for not being as pretty: Check

agig: All we need now is-

“Stop that right now! You’re beautiful and you know it!” Rei put on some earrings in the shape of crescent moons.

Comforting the person  who loathes themselves for not being as PRETTY AN HOT: Check

agig:and of course-

Chu was self-conscious about her looks. She wanted to badly to be like Rei, talented and beautiful, kind and wise…if only her fate wasn’t to die in three days, she and Rei would’ve made such great friends. Rei wasn’t at all like the other girls that Chu knew. Rei was kind, honest, pure, and selfless. Chu was a year younger than Rei. Chu was 14, strong, pretty, but also kind of scary (the self-loathing) A new guard came up behind Chu. His name is Kai.

Talented, beautiful, kind, wise, honest, pure, and selfless: Check

agig: Also, this is the first confirmation of Chu’s gender. Keep in mind that Chu was the first character in the fic.

Kai loves Rei. Kai is 19, he didn’t seem to pay much attention to Chu when she asked what was going on, “Princess Rei! Fire benders have some on to our shore! The king needs you to go greet them right away!”

 

Fire benders have some on to our shore!

agiig: Huh?

“Yes, thank you Kai.” Rei ran into the castle and dressed in a maroon dress with bright red streaks on the edges. Rei was a C34 with a small waist, she had grand curves, stunning legs, a beautiful smile, and to top it all off, a marvelous persality.

agig: Yep, definitely a Mary Sue type two. Only thing she needs to upgrade to type one is some sort of power not found in the native univ-

“Teleport!” As soon as she said this, she appeared at the shore where the Fire Benders had arrived.

57108883

Prince Zuko got off first with General Iroh, the his men. Rei had never seen such a small crew of Fire benders, but either way, she had to greet them, or another beating tonight.

agig: Seeing as she can teleport, I want to know why she doesn’t get the fuck out of there.

“You must be the Fire Benders. Prince Zuko and General Iroh, very nice to meet you all.” After Rei said this Prince Zuko blushed (didn’t seem like it from the way he put his face in)

ms1ipg

and General Iroh got an idea about how to get Rei to join them.

“Hold on to my hand Prince Zuko, General Iroh, and the rest of you, join hands with them.” Everyone did as they were told, “Teleport!” And they were at the castle. “Welcome to King Bui’s castle. Make yourselves at home.”

agig: They’ll be doing that a lot, won’t they?

“Ah, excuse me young lady, what’s your name?”

“Oh, my apologies! I completely forgot to introduce myself. I’m Princess Rei, King Bui’s fiancee.”

“Fiancee, huh? Zuko! Come here a second!” Prince Zuko walked towards his uncle. “Prince Zuko, this is Princess Rei, King Bu’s fiancee.”

agig: Fire Nation culture seems to be like that of a medieval country, so I’m not sure why he sounds so confused about a teenager being fiance to an adult King.

“Pardon me for not introducing myself earlier, Prince Zuko.” Rei bowed respectfully at the prince, just then, she heard the voice that gave her the creeps just by hearing even the slightest tone of it.

“Rei! Honey! Come here and give me a kiss my sweet little, princess, you beautiful little-”

“Uh! Bui! Honey bun! Meet our guests!”(Rei’s faking.)

orly

“Ah, the banished prince, Zuko, how very nice to meet you.”

agig: If that was Bui (and I think it is) then how the hell did he get here so fast?

“Likewise. -”

“Rei, have you introduced yourself yet?”

“Yea..”

“Very well then, Let the feast begin! General Iroh! Come sit next to me! Prince Zuko, sit next to Rei.”

King Bui sat in the biggest chair at the longest table any of the Fire Benders have ever seen. To his left was General Iroh, the his right, Rei with Zuko right next to her. The others were sitting in any other place. “Rei!” King Bui said, “Entertain us with your songs.”Rei pouted, and the asked her self how he knew that she could sing.

agig: Maybe it’s because you live in his palace and he could probably hear you singing anytime you did so.

“Fine.” Rei stepped up to the stage where all the instrument and their players were. Rei sat at the piano and played a song called For You (does not exist), “My happiness was overwhelmed when you smiled, your smile makes the day brighten, far from the sun filled days that lie in sleep. Waiting with glee for the spring, when the blossoms will bloom, reborn again, knowing there’s more beyond the suffering of today…And although the scars of yesterday remain, you can live as long as your heart believes…You can’t be reborn again, although you can change…Let’s try our best, always…As though waiting for a sign, I wait peacefully for you…only you…This barrier that keeps us apart will not exist for long…for you…I will wait forever…I watched the flowers that we planted together grow and grow, like the love that I have for you…amazing that it will never fade…For you…let’s stay together forever…”

Amazing singer: Check

agig: So we get another very long song, and then she angsts a bit about her life, then this happens.

Prince Zuko was captivated by her eyes. They were so unique, none like he’d ever seen. Then Zuko oeverheard his uncle ask King Bui, “What kind of bender is she?”

“She’s a sort of Avatar. She bends Water, Earth, Fire, AND Air. Rei also has telekinesis, ESP, and the power of telepathy. She can control you without her even moving a muscle.”

Has every damn power in the avatar ‘verse, and more besides that: Check

“So, how much for her?”

“Well, I’m gonna kill her anyways, if Rei falls for your nephew then OK! She’s yours.”

agig: I’m confused, if she’s your fiancee, why are you planning to kill her? Wouldn’t that deprive  you of the chance to get an heir? I mean, you could marry someone else, but why go to all the trouble of marrying Rei if you plan on killing her anyway?

Prince Zuko was shocked (though he as always, didn’t show it.) -Nice huh?-What? Who is this?-Oh, I’m sorry Prince Zuko, this is Rei. Meet me outside in five minutes.-

In the Garden

agig: Uh, i think you accidentally a word there. Or several.

“Hello Prince Zuko…I’m glad you came…”

“Why did you call me out here?”

“Prince Zuko, I want you to take me with you. King Bui is going to kill me, please Prince Zuko!” Rei clung to his arm, in tears. Prince Zuko pulled away and said, “Fine! But you have to follow everything I say!”

Rei hugged Prince Zuko, “Thank you! Thank You! THANK YOU!” Then She gave him a quick kiss his cheek, Prince Zuko blushed. Hehe! Rei was 5 inches shorter than this guy!

King Bui watched this and saw the kiss. “She’s your General Iroh!”

agig: What? I can think of a couple of meanings for this, neither of which make sense.

A: She’s General Iroh’s clone. Who happens to be nothing like Iroh.

B: She’s Iroh’s General. Why would a young teenager who has no military training be made a General?

“Hurray!”

agig: That’s the chapter! See you guys on chapter two!

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20 Comments on “1135: Rei: A New Kind of Princess – Chapter One”

  1. leobracer says:

    I was half expecting this to be a Neon Genesis Evangelion fic.

    I have no idea how to feel about this.

  2. AdmiralSakai says:

    “My happiness was overwhelmed when you smiled, your smile makes the day brighten, far from the sun filled days that lie in sleep. Waiting with glee for the spring, when the blossoms will bloom, reborn again, knowing there’s more beyond the suffering of today…And although the scars of yesterday remain, you can live as long as your heart believes…You can’t be reborn again, although you can change…Let’s try our best, always…As though waiting for a sign, I wait peacefully for you…only you…This barrier that keeps us apart will not exist for long…for you…I will wait forever…I watched the flowers that we planted together grow and grow, like the love that I have for you…amazing that it will never fade…For you…let’s stay together forever…”

    For You (does not exist),

    THANK THE SPIRITS!

  3. AdmiralSakai says:

    Chu was self-conscious about her looks. She wanted to badly to be like Rei, talented and beautiful, kind and wise…if only her fate wasn’t to die in three days, she and Rei would’ve made such great friends. Rei wasn’t at all like the other girls that Chu knew. Rei was kind, honest, pure, and selfless. Chu was a year younger than Rei. Chu was 14, strong, pretty, but also kind of scary (the self-loathing) A new guard came up behind Chu. His name is Kai.

    I like Chu. Maybe it’s just because I’m a sucker for uniforms, but she seems to have a much better handle of what’s going on in the world, and acts more like a normal human being.

    • I agree. I’d like to think that, when the locals finally rise up to depose this indolent, murderous “king” and his inane mate-to-be, she will be the one to lead the partisans to their bedchamber.

      Which is not to imply that I am financing revolutionary elements or anything at all like that.

  4. infinity421 says:

    Telepathic Message- ‘Thoughts’ >New Place or time

    *squints*
    You what?

  5. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Whatever happened to the Journey to the Past snarking? I really wanted to see that one torn to pieces.

  6. neji7hyuga says:

    I used to use keys at the beginning of fics for a short bit, not exactly sure when or why, but likely when I stopped using present tense narration and stuff. I guess keys are one of the things one would expect from a beginner level fanfic writer. Though someone helpfully told me to stop using them since they imply a lower level writing ability, gave suggestions and advice on how to ensure readers don’t get confused without needing a key. And also said people are more likely to avoid those kinds of fics since they usually have lower level writing within.

    I don’t even use keys anymore. Since from what I have seen, I seem to be doing things well enough. And I maintain, or at least try to, a pattern with my italics, bolding, etc.

    And the key in this fic is surly going to put many people off before they even reach the fic proper…

  7. GhostCat says:

    She wanted to badly to be like Rei, talented and beautiful, kind and wise…if only her fate wasn’t to die in three days, she and Rei would’ve made such great friends. Rei wasn’t at all like the other girls that Chu knew. Rei was kind, honest, pure, and selfless.

    I smell a Sucktastic Award for Biggest Sue nomination in Rei’s future.

    Also – the way it’s worded makes it look as if Chu is the one destined to die. If so, good for her. She’ll get out of the fic faster.

  8. TacoMagic says:

    Rei was a C34 with a small waist, she had grand curves, stunning legs, a beautiful smile, and to top it all off, a marvelous persality.

    Wait-

    persality

    That sounds like the worst finishing move ever.

  9. TacoMagic says:

    “She’s a sort of Avatar. She bends Water, Earth, Fire, AND Air. Rei also has telekinesis, ESP, and the power of telepathy. She can control you without her even moving a muscle.”

    Yes, yes, we see that. But, is she the street fighting champion of Rhode Island?


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