1114: The Final Hunt – Chapter 10 Part 2Posted: July 21, 2015
Nora: Ok then, Ms. Pedo is with me down at the station. I’ve got to file out the proper reports so that charges can be taken to a court of law. I may need you guys to testify.
Ert: Say jump and we’ll say how high.
Nora: That’s the spirit. Nora out.
Woods: Well that’s a first. I mean we’ve had agents go into fics before, but never to make an arrest. Is this within her jurisdiction?
Ert: Not sure, but somehow I feel like she’ll make it stick. She’s got pretty hard evidence Camilla was being a creeper.
Goeth: This here station records everything and I sent her a copy.
Woods: Well, here’s hoping things go well for her.
Goeth: I just hope I get Sir Zap Zap back.
Ert: I think she sent it back via cargo transport. Should be here in 3-5 business days. Right, where were we?
Goeth: I just hope it gets here before my plinth does.
Goeth: Yeah, the inside of Crow’s head, I’m doing some redecorating. He’s not exactly using it.
Ert: It’s a work in progress, but I like where it’s going. Right, let’s see.
The hunter was now in his classroom,his weapons, such as Stake Driver, Holy Sword, Kirk Hammer, Rifle Spear, and Hunter’s Ax, they were neatly on the auditorium, he felt… confident, nope he wasn’t while teaching his class was easy the thought of parents visiting his class made him anxious, he thought his plan was… good hopefully,
Ert: Ok first of all, both the Rifle Spear and the Stake Driver were crafted by the Powder Keggers, heretics of the Church of Healing. The weapons are also considered heretical, so the odds of anyone in this room ever getting their hands on one is slim at best. Second, it’s not Holy Sword, it’s Ludwig’s Holy Blade. Third, what is the point of teaching your students how to use Yharnam weapons when odds are they’ll never use them? I mean, Christ, you’re still trying to deny that the world of Bloodborne exists, so why are you throwing all of these weapons with weird designs out for everyone to see. What’s his logic here?
“Gehrman you here?” the hunter a familiar voice
“Yes Ruby I am here”
“Hey Gehrman have you seen my da- woah”
“Is there something you need Ruby?”
“Oh um… I just want to say t-t that”
“Is something wrong Ruby?” he had a concerned look for the stuttering huntress
“N-no it’s just that.. it’s just that you look nice!” the hunter only smiled in return
Woods: Author, never have someone comment on a character’s outfit multiple times in a chapter. It just serves to show off how great they are and it just doesn’t feel real.
“Thank you Ruby you look nice as well” the huntress’s face turned the same color as her cloak
“S-so I heard you met my dad!”
“Yes in an interesting fashion…”
Goeth: I supposed nearly murdering someone in a fit of violent paranoia can be described as “interesting”. By that logic, most of the things I do in my spare time are “interesting”
“He just wanted to test how strong you are”
Woods: By…shaking his hand?
“I see, he could have asked for a duel if he wished”
Ert:…Yeah, see, remember this line, we’re gonna be coming back to it later. Remember in particular that Crow is perfectly ok with the concept of dueling.
“I don’t think he’ll do that well not anymore”
“Why is that?”
“Well you already proved yourself to him”
Woods: Proven himself as a violent psychopath maybe.
“What do you mean proving my self?” the huntress smiled mischievously, the scarlet blush toned down to a light pink
“That’s a secret~”
Ert: Oh! OHHHHHHHHH! How does it feel Crow! How does it feel you prick!?
Now he had ten minutes of rest, the hunter slumped in his chair, he closed his eye savoring the peace he had left, then few minutes later he began to hear sound of voices nearing his classroom, the parents gathered at the top of his seats above the usual rows of seat where the students sat, the parents were literally looking down on him
Woods: So your professor is sleeping five minutes before class and he’s approximately two years younger than you. I knew we should’ve sent you on that foreign exchange program, the education system in this country is just a massive joke nowadays.
Ert: LEARN WHAT LITERALLY MEANS!
Some parents had formal clothing and some had armors to show that they are proud huntsmen and huntresses, this was first out of six classes, first period was most troublesome for him as team RWBY was there,
Ert: And that is troublesome because of-oh look over there!
Blake and Weiss behaved like a proper students. As for Yang and Ruby it was a different story.
Ruby would secretly eat cookies during class despite the sounds she would make. Despite Weiss’s harsh scolding she manages to bring cookies. He couldn’t take the cookies away since she would do a pleading look that would make him feel guilty for more than one life time.
Ert: More evidence that Crow is an absolute failure as a professor. And more evidence that the author seems to insist on writing Ruby as a five year old.
Goeth: Yeah, forward the events of the last few weeks to me, I want to see if I can form a hypothesis on how serious this emotional immaturity of hers is.
As for Yang… the hunter would turn red and stutters when he spoke to her, students reported once that steam rose from the hunter’s head. It was obvious for the students that he had fallen for the blond.
Woods: Oh Christ. Infatuated with one of the students? Do we need to start making a list of the things that Crow does that would get a professor from any respectable school fired within three seconds? And you said that the problem was Yang’s behavior. Uh, this problem is on YOUR end buddy, or are you one of those people who says its the woman’s fault when they get aroused? Because you do not want to go down that path with us.
The other notable/troublesome was his fifth due to a certain orange hair girl would never take his advice during a match and smash anything in her sight. Her alone was enough for the teacher. He just wanted to know how her partner can put up with her.
Ert: Uh, I have absolutely no idea what that paragraph was trying to say. Fifth what? What matches? There are matches? And author could you please stop stereotyping every single character please? A little depth would be nice in someone other than your precious Stu. Not that he has any, but you seem to be mistaken on that front.
then as if the gods wanted him to suffer his next class had team CFVY, the only trouble was the C in CFVY since he had to clean his classroom after a gunner leaves so many bullet casings not to mention bullet holes on the wall, not to mention she put up her feet on the counter and read fashion magazine.
Ert: UGGGGGGH! For the love of Christ, what the shit is going on that results in bullet holes being left in the classroom? And Crow has NO control over his students if someone is blatantly not showing any respect.
In short, he was a push over in his class.
Ert: No fucking kidding. And for some reason Ozpin thought hiring him was a good idea.
“Good morning I am professor Gehrman Crow, I will take questions from anyone please do not hesitate I will answer at the best of my ability” the hunter obviously lied, he secretly hoped that no one would ask him a question, sadly that didn’t come true as the same person who tried to punch him spoke
Woods: Morning? He’s been through multiple classes, how is it still morning? And also, every single thing about Crow as a professor either shows him trying to avoid any responsibility or just being flat out horrible at his job. Why is he here? What motivation does he have for taking
“How old are you professor?”
‘Out of all the questions, this foolish man had to…’
“I am…” the hunter sighed at the chaos he was about to create “Seventeen years old…” he heard concerned murmurs of the parents, thankfully no one questioned his skills
Goeth: Oh don’t worry Crow old buddy. That’ll be happening momentarily.
“How do you grade your students?” this it was a man from the corner he had a red hood with black pants and red vest with black long sleeved shirt,
“I grade my students by their efforts mostly, while result being a small portion of their grade” this time a positive sounding murmur,
Ert: I’m gonna be an ass and say it sounds like Crow came up with a system where he could just give everyone a B+ at worse and called it a day.
“This place your from Yharnam is it? How did it survive the onslaught of grimm?”
“It didn’t” while that was a lie Yharnam was overrun by the plague and the beast, it was a half lie, the answer for the parent caused the classroom to stay silent until someone familiar asked a question. The same one who tried to punch his face.
Woods:…OH! That’s what Yang’s dad tried to do. Apparently…that’s…that’s really stupid. And that’s seriously out of character for him too. Yes, I feel confident in saying that it’s out of character for someone who hasn’t been introduced yet, because the writing in RWBY tends to not be that lousy.
“So you were from a far village from the kingdom, do you know the marriage law here?”
“No sir I am not aware of it”
Ert: NOOOOOOOO! You stop RIGHT there! We will drop this subject and not hear another word of it!
“Well you see the legal marriage age is-” the father stopped by the CEO of SDC
“I believe we decided to talk about this at lunch and we made a compromise that none of us would speak to him about it”
Woods: Oh God this hurts already.
Goeth: You know marriage is essentially a political and economic agreement. I don’t see why people put so much stock into it.
“Might as well ask him now”
“Listen you tactless dolt I swear to Monty that I will make sure you will regret talking ever”
“Hey Tity come down will you? That kid more oblivious than the Arc kid”
Goeth: No no no, we already decided that his name is Ti-Ti.
Ert: Author, you do know that parents aren’t just carbon copies of their kids right? As in, a parent doesn’t have to act EXACTLY the same as their kid does. You do know that right?
“I swear Niro call me that again and-”
“What are you going to do glare at me to death?”
“Hah good one Niro”
The fight lasted the entire questioning time,
Woods: Two grown men are squabbling like children. Is there anyone in this story who isn’t stupid, emotionally underdeveloped or some combination of the two?
Ert: Well, there’s the Vilebloods.
Woods: I’ll take it.
Gehrman couldn’t think if that was good or bad, good because he didn’t have to answer questions. Bad because… well there wasn’t anything bad he was reminded that he really needed to work on his social skills. He let out a deep sigh of defeat and wondered why any one tried to stop those three. The parents who watched the three huntsmen fighting were afraid for some reason.
Ert: Wait three? Yang’s dad, Ti-Ti and who else? Author, you’re allowed to give your narration some meat, it isn’t illegal. And Crow is mistaking lack of social skills for just being shit at his job.
As the bell rang students entered his classroom. Some would looks back to their parents and wave and others would completely ignore them due to embarrassment, Crow prayed that some people wouldn’t do anything foolish. Before he would start his class he saw the parents getting their scroll and began recording. So far class was going smoothly… so far
Woods: Well a broken clock is right twice a day. He had to not screw things up sooner or later. It won’t last long though.
“Now would anyone tell me a disadvantage of blunt weapons?” thankfully several students raised their hands, if only they could be more enthusiastic during an actual lecture… And for once the students paid attention
Ert: Your students giving a shit about what you say is a rarity for you huh Crow? Heh, while he’s playing at being the worse teacher ever Alfred is probably murdering someone for their blood.
“Mister Winchester, your answer is?”
His hope was crushed then and now,
“Incorrect, many blunt weapons are heavy
Goeth: I would like to point out light blunt weapons such as blackjacks or batons, as well as heavy sharp weapons such as great swords or battle axes.
and requires careful timing as well as placement of strikes,
Woods: Unlike other weapons where you can just hit wherever, whenever.
they are most vulnerable when they miss their strikes such as a mace”
Ert: Because with every other weapon you’re perfectly fine after you miss…THIS GUY IS A FUCKING TEACHER!
“Professor Crow are you saying that maces are disadvantageous weapon?” the hunter looked up to see a parent asking a question. It was obvious who the parent was
“Sir the questioning was ov-”
“I asked you a question Professor Crow” the hunter sighed inwardly
Ert: You know, in addition to my earlier complaint about parents basically being slightly larger clones of their children, having a stereotypical jock bully that picked on the main character because main character was eye roll inducing. Did we really need another? Rhetorical question, no we didn’t.
“Maces have a disadvantage in speed but makes up for its ability in power, while-”
“So you are saying that it has disadvantages”
“All weapons have disadvantages sir for ex-”
“I can prove it that maces are the best weapon for combat” the father walked down the stairs, the man had a mace that looked similar to Cardin’s with an armor that was bigger with small spikes, giving the huntsmen a ominous presece
Ert: No I will NOT stop using that joke.
Woods: Ok, so Cardin 0.5 here is getting pissy because the professor in his son’s class says that maces aren’t the best weapons ever (by the way you want a REAL concern about blunt weapons, how about that they wouldn’t be that good against something several times your size? Like many Grimm are!) and apparently he’s going to fight him over this. Well I’ve seen fights started over dumber reasons. Not many but I have.
“Please sir there is a class going on you just can’t do as you please”
“Then make me” the hunter pulled away from the desk and descended to the arena,
“Well? Are you going to make me?”
Woods: How about this. If you don’t back off your son gets a nice big F. Won’t that look nice on his GPA.
“Can you please step off the arena sir?”
“Like. I. Said. make me” he now knew why his son was a bully, his father acted the same way
Goeth: Apparently they came out of the same cloning vat because there is not a single thing that sets them apart.
“Hey Duke guess what? That kid can kick your ass!” he couldn’t tell who it was from the crowd of hunters but the voice was enough to know who it was
“Mister Xiao Long do not use such vulgar word!” stress kicked in as he couldn’t control his class,
Ert: And he only just now can’t control his class? Just Christ, train wreck doesn’t even begin to describe this chapter. More like cruise liner wreck.
Woods: And who was it that had no problem with Cardin 0.5 threatening the teacher but apparently drew the line at Yang’s dad swearing? Tell us who’s talking author, we can’t figure it out ourselves.
his instinct was correct and he was now sure that he would be fired of his teaching job.
“Shut it Xiao Long!” the two former students bickered
“Mister Winchester please don’t be provoked by the taunt” his fruitless plead was ignored
“Hey tell your dad to stop being an an idiot!”
Ert: You know considering that no one is identified as speaking it could be Thing 1 and Thing 2 for all we know. So as far as I’m concerned, it is
“Mister Winchester! I do not condone that kind of behavior!” the hunter’s voice was ignored again, his words were nothing but a unnecessary sound
Ert: EVERYONE IN THE ROOM IS A FUCKING HUNTER! You might as well say “The human’s voice” because that’s how much help it is at clarifying.
“Oh yea tell your dumb ass dad stop being a dick to Gehrman!”
“Miss Xiao Long! I will not allow this misdemeanor”
“Yea tell him Yang!” Ruby joined in on the bickering
Woods: I have long since given up on figuring out who is talking and what the hell is going on. All I know is that Cardin is probably going to get expelled and Crow is going to get fired…oh wait that would require logic.
“Miss Rose do not encourage her!” the hunter looked at Ruby and Yang’s partner even they couldn’t stop them, worst of all the parents began to grow rowdier as well, the blond huntsmen walked down the steps as well. Gehrman quickly ran up to the blond huntsmen to prevent anymore chaos but it was too late.
“Duke you were always a pain in the ass, it seems like your son is the same as well, I can’t believe he’s leading a team. A crappy leader for a crappy team I’m not surprised” the two huntsmen stood face to face.
Ert: Wake me up when something interesting happens. Watching a jock and someone who I know next to nothing about butt heads like they’re bulls is not my idea of entertaining. Or dramatic. Or exciting. Or anything that would make this story interesting.
“Want me to beat you up like I used to?”
“You took the words right of my mouth” the hunter tried to get in between the two but pushed out of the way, he went up to the classroom to stop the other parents arguing for unknown reasons, there he saw a man leaning on the wall with a red rood covering his face. He had the same cloak as Ruby’s he took a guess at the man’s name.
Goeth: Hey, how come all of the other parents are going at each other? I haven’t unleashed the rage gas yet. *Checks omni-tool* Yeah see? All the tanks are still full.
Woods: I think everyone in this story is just that stupid.
“Mister Rose! I can use some help!” sadly he was ignored
Ert: I have a theory on who this is, but I have a bad feeling about it. And how do you know the person is related to Ruby because they wear the came clothes? Oh right,families in this story are created via cloning.
“Is this how you teach your students professor?” a women went close in to the hunter, he made a strained smile
“N-no of course no ma’am”
“Ma’am? I’ll have you know I’m in my 30’s!”
“Y-yes I apologize! Miss”
“Miss? I’m married!”
“Of course you are I apologize missus!”
Ert: *Headdesk* Because it was so fucking hilarious when Crow got flustered with a woman when we had to deal with Ms Pedo. And since when does Ma’am reflect on anyone’s age?
Gehrman tried to calm the parents, the students namely team RWBY and CRDL took out their weapons and other teams joined as well. The hunter turned to see Duke and Taiyang bringing their weapons out, he quickly ran to stop those two but it was too late, the two began fighting. He hated the fact that the students were enjoying watching it.
Woods: Yeah, how dare they enjoy watching people fight! It’s not like I’m constantly said to have bloodlust and got into a fight with one of my students-oh wait.
His classroom turned into a powder keg
“Yea dad kick his ass!”
“This is so cool two huntsmen duking it out!” a student in his class took out a scroll to record the fight
Goeth: I don’t think humans talk like that…wait a minute. *Rips boy’s face off* AH-HA! I KNEW IT! INFILTRATOR! Ert, hand me my EMP gun!
Crow quickly went down to stop the fight, he intercepted the blond’s gauntlet and with his other hand stopped the mace’s overhead attack. The hunter felt a slight sting on both of his hands the weapons in Remnant wasn’t fatal as the ones in Yharnam.
“Please stop fighting amongst yourself sir it is unbecoming and a bad example to the chidren!”
Ert: They can’t be setting any worse of an example than you did during all of your laughable excuses for classes. Also Crow, as far as they know you’re just as old as the students are, in many circumstances younger, yet you’re calling them children. You want to make this situation less laughable please? By starters you could make your argument less this
“Out of the way boy this is a man’s business”
“Look at your self Duke after all these years you still act like a pompous ass”
“Well I’m faring better than a widow”
Woods:…Just for the record I’m now fully supporting Duke getting the snot beaten out of him. I mean, Yang and Ruby’s father lost not one but TWO wives, one went missing and the other left him out of nowhere. As someone who lost her own wife, I consider mocking him for that to be crossing a line.
“What did you you son of a bitch?”
Ert: Uh, wot?
the older huntsmen teeth gritted the hunter gripped harder on the gauntlet, his anger could be felt from the auditoriums, the class went silent as the two hunters that stood in his arena began to emanate their vicious auras, the hunter’s long patience grew thinner by the seconds.
Goeth: What, the same guy who nearly murdered Yang’s dad on a paranoid driven delusion has long patience? I doubt it. In fact. *Rips Crow’s face off* Another infiltrator! I…whoops. *Slaps face back on* Anyone got some duct tape? Turns out he’s just really inconsistent.
“I will ask you gentlemen once more, to stand down, if not I will use force to prevent further disruption” the grip on the weapons got tighter the shaft of the mace was on the verge of breaking and the gauntlet was falling apart showing a pale skin
“This a fight for my honor child I suggest you stand back” his attention now went to the Winchester parent, he released the mace as well as the gauntlet, his one good eye focused on the man who clearly was taller than the hunter
Woods: Guy talked shit about possibly dead wife, this isn’t about honor, this is personal. And I don’t normally advocate revenge but I’ll make an exception here.
Ert: Since when did Crow get all “I will kindly ask you gentlemen”. I thought his social skills were supposed to be crap, he seems to be talking in a rather refined way. Oh right, Crow’s character fluctuates from sentence to sentence.
“Honor? They are nothing but an excuse to create blood shed.” Crow started his monologue
Goeth: Wow, they don’t even bother to hide that he’s going to get preachy, they flat out call it a monologue. Also, he’s gonna need this.
“Do you know who you’re talking you br-”
“Silence” a black aura formed the hunter with a faint red resembling a grimm.
Ert: Oh good! Does this mean we can kill him! No? Well I’ll just do this then.
(Gary Stu Counter: 24)
“You barmy hunters always boast about fighting and it sickens me to know bounds, fighting only brings bloodshed. Now listen up you knob head Winchester, your son is nothing but a tosser and if he keeps being one he will never succeed in life does your thick skull understand through my words?”
Woods: Bringing up the superiority of Bloodborne hunters yet again. Kind of makes me want to watch a montage of people getting killed in game to even things out. And user British swear words despite never using htem before before. Seriously, I don’t blame Goeth for thinking Crow was a robot infiltrator, there could be hundreds running around with different programing for all of his inconsistencies.
“Yea you go kid!… Even though I have no idea what you just said” the hunter turned to the blond brawler furiously
“And you” the parent’s childish behavior
Ert: Anyone who can’t seem to balance his schedule in a way that allows him to get more than half an hour of sleep shouldn’t be calling anyone childish.
pulled the final straw of his vast patience “You started this pandemonium you sniveling arse.
I suggest you shut your trap before you literally become dead from the neck up.”
Woods: Actually Duke was the one who threatened to attack you. You should be THANKING him you little brat.
Ert: Oh goodie, person #5021052 who doesn’t know how to use the word literally.
“What did I do?”
“Shut. up.” the hunter continued
Woods: No seriously what did I do?
Ert: Shut up! I’m being self righteous and it’ll all fall apart when logic comes into the situation.
“I simply can not understand your kind.
Fighting for honor? By the gods Is a war that had endless lost of lives is not enough to get that through in your thick skull?
Woods: His argument kind of falls flat when this fight for honor was more like a bar fight and not a fight to the death. Oh, and what did he say earlier? That if Yang’s father had just asked, Crow would’ve dueled him? Yeah. Crow, feel free to shut up.
Maybe you will understand that fighting is hell when you are forced to kill your friends, when you see children used for horrific experiments, or every single day of your damned life you experience excruciating pain that you wanted death” he paused, before he could be interrupted he continue
Ert: Yeah, fighting is hell. That’s why you said you were more than willing to fight Yang’s dad in a duel, it’s why you fought Cardin, and it’s why you-SHUT THE FUCK UP! Author I know for some reason you think Crow isn’t a hypocritical, self-righteous twat with an overinflated ego, but I have to pop your bubble. He is. If the only way you can make a character likable, is to make the ENTIRE cast into morons, give an entire world the short end of the stick to make them all incompetent, and when all that is said and done the character STILL looks bad by comparison, then delete your draft and start over because you FAILED as an author.
“But no because you are trapped within a bloody nightmare where death is not an option, Do you know how much atrocity I have to go through? I tried so hard to kill myself but the damned beast blood won’t let me. Do you know how painful it is? To have memories that you can not erase? To be reminded painfully that you are the one that led to people’s death? Do you know how painful it is that their faces will be engraved in your mind forever? DO YOU!?”
Goeth: Ah. The Freudian Slip.
Ert: I know this is the part where we’re all supposed to go sad face for Crow, but all I can think of is how much of an edge lord Crow is being. Again. Oh, and everyone got turned into an idiot with the emotional maturity of toddlers just so Crow could have a Freudian Slip. I just don’t have the words.
the classroom stood still, the hunter struggled between his breath, the father noticed that teeth turned into fangs and his nails into claws, the hunter didn’t noticed that he was holding the collar of the older blond man, his claws penetrated the cloth. Gehrman released his grasp. The black and red aura faded from the hunter as did his fangs and claws
Woods: Ok. Kill him. Right now. He’s a threat to everyone around him. A few hundred rounds to the face and then a few hundred more just to be safe, then throw what’s left into the sun. Goeth?
Goeth: Hm, bit short notice but I’ll see what I can do..
“Class is dismissed everyone please leave…” the hunter walked tiredly to his desk then sat, people moved hesitantly out of the classroom,
He was now certain that he lost his job.
Ert: FINALLY! And I’m just gonna add five dings to the pointless counter, that should cover that scene
(Pointless Counter: 25)
He sat at his chair while his mind forced him to remember Yharnam it self, the city was always dark, damo, the sickening air of rotting corpses. Worst of all he was always alone after his friend Eileen died. The classroom was empty the only the sound of the clock ticking followed the silence.
Woods: The narrative is practically just flat out saying “Feel sorry for Crow” Uh. No. Crow is about as likable as a bowling ball bag filled with vomit.
“Hello Gehrman” the hunter turned weakly
“I assume you’re here because of my inappropriate anger toward the parents”
“Among other things yes. That is what happens if you don’t get any sleep, the lack of sleep leads to uncontrollable emotions and fatigue”
Ert: And the fact that you’re just a horrible teacher to begin with and this was a horrible horrible idea.
“Did you come here just to tell me about this?” the hunter asked in slight annoyance
“No that recent outburst raised some question. Gehrman do you have nightmares often?” Ozpin avoided the obvious question he wanted to ask.
Woods: Oh, well you see I iz trajek so of course I do.
“Most of the time yes, why do you ask?” the headmaster took out a paper and gave it to the hunter
“If you don’t mind can you answer this sheet for me? You don’t have to worry about this class I already took care of it”
Goeth: I couldn’t get it to qualify for credits so really the whole thing ended up being a waste of time.
“Thank you headmaster, as for this paper what is this for?”
“It’s nothing important but please answer honestly”
“Of course” the huntsmen nodded then left, the hunter took out a pen and began to read the questions, each of them had yes or no answer. Some how Gehrman had an odd feeling that Ozpin looked distressed or best to say disturbed.
Ert: We’d need a full time team of English experts to de-tangle some of the sentences in this story.
Have you experienced or been exposed to a traumatic event?
the hunter checked yes
Woods: Oh Christ they’re not.
During the traumatic event did you witness death or harm of others and the threat of your life
Ert: They are.
Does images of your past traumatic event appear on your mind?
Do you have recurring nightmares about the event?
Does your symptom deter you from your normal routine?
the first No
Goeth: So everything this guy does is considered normal? That’s food for thought. I guess he just doesn’t sleep normally
Do you often feel paranoid? Are you constantly ready for any kind of threat?
‘I suppose so…’ the hunter checked yes again
Since the trauma have you had difficulty concentrating?
Ert: Yeah, his focus was crystal sharp during that sleep deprived breakdown.
The hunter finished the questions, frankly the question was rather obtrusive and personal in the end he ended up answering the questions with a “Yes” mostly. He wondered what this was about. A few minutes later Ozpin returned to get the paper then he quickly left. As he greeted the parents he looked at the questions he answered.
Out of twenty fifteen were answered with a yes.
Woods: Yeah this reeks of bullshit. Crow has gone out of his way to keep any of the most microscopic details of his life secret. All of a sudden, Ozpin shoves a random quiz in front of him and we’re supposed to believe that he’s answering them with 100% sincerity?
Ozpin looked at the result, He hoped it wasn’t what he thought it was. As he looked he sighed deeply with remorse. The result from the questions he answered.
If answered yes more than 10+ (This patient shows many symptom of PTSD)
Ert: Yeah I don’t buy it. Crow hasn’t been experiencing flashbacks. If you have PTSD, anything that causes you to think about the trauma you saw can cause you to have a full blown flashback episode out of nowhere. Crow has just been getting nightmares and brooding a lot, and while that can be a symptom of PTSD, in here it feels a Hell of a lot more like “Trajek character” considering Crow seems rather well adjusted otherwise. You know, when he’s not going psychotic. Which is NOT connected to PTSD in anyway. Unless this was supposed to be a flashback
He sat at his chair while his mind forced him to remember Yharnam it self, the city was always dark, damo, the sickening air of rotting corpses. Worst of all he was always alone after his friend Eileen died. The classroom was empty the only the sound of the clock ticking followed the silence.
Ert: In which case Crow did have a flashback but it was so watered down that the author gets no points for it.
Woods: And like we said earlier, Crow refuses to tell anyone anything about himself. With how reserved he’s been and how blunt and impersonal Ozpin is being about this, he might as well haven given him a paper that says “Do you have PTSD, yes or no”. I’m not an expert, but I feel like if an actual doctor was analyzing someone to see if he or she had PTSD, said doctor would do everything in their power to make the patient feel more comfortable and at ease with answering questions. Crow flat out says these questions are intrusive.
An aura therapist is needed for further treatment.
Now he had two things to do regarding the hunter of Yharnam
Goeth: Slit his throat and then set him on fire. Not necessarily in that order.
The classroom was empty and he now had plenty of time to sleep, but how can he after his monologue. So much for the lesson plan he had today.
Woods: It would’ve been shit anyway.
Thankfully it was the first class since the second class wasn’t troublesome as the first it would be easy for him… hopefully. Maybe finally he could take a nap, he really couldn’t believe the fact that hunters in Remnant are so prideful.
Ert: And by “hunters in Remnant” you pretty much mean a handful of them while the rest of them are normal. But hey, I won’t let logic get in the way of your racism. And yeah I’m calling Crow racist because that’s what he is. He’s constantly prattling on about how Yharnam hunters are physically and mentally superior to Remnant Hunters. And when he isn’t judging them as inferior, he’s looking down at them condescendingly. Seems like a textbook case of racism to me.
It made him sick or it was the lack of sleep that made him sick. Weird thing he was he felt fine not sleeping in Yharnam so what was wrong here?
Ert: Shoehorned drama.
The hunter woke up from his dreamless sleep to hear a soft knock, not wanting to deal with it he choose to ignore it and keep sleeping. It was annoying then after twenty minutes it became unbearable. Recomposing himself the hunter spoke clearly.
“Enter” the hunter saw the same blond man who caused his anger not to mention his loss of job that he will soon face
Woods: No no no no buddy. He didn’t cause the loss of your job. That was all you. You acting like a child made you lose your job. You losing control made you lose your job. You being unable to balance work with your personal life caused you to lose your job. All YOUR fault. First blaming Yang for how you got flustered and then her dad for losing her job? Grow up and take responsibility for your actions.
“Oh come on I didn’t even say anything!”
Ert: I’m feeling sorry for myself! You are the decided source of my endless sorrow because the author doesn’t know how to write actual drama.
“And I prefer if you keep it that way now I will ask you to leave”
“Is there any ways that I can make it up to you?”
“Can I make it up to you? Anything?”
Woods: Buddy, don’t waste your time on this little pipsquick. Just go out and spend time with your daughters.
“Leaving would make it up to me huntsmen” the father sighed his usual ways wouldn’t work with the moon scented hunter
Ert: Ok, I’m willing to let it fly when a Bloodborne character that has a connection to the Old Ones says moon scented hunter, but when someone else says it…author, what does the moon smell like?
“I apologized what I did in your class” the huntsmen said with sincerety
“Thank you for apologizing”
“Wait that’s it?” the father was surprised how easy it was.
“You apologized and the action you have caused is irreversible. It is foolish to stay in the past…” Gehrman ignored his own hypocrisy in his saying, the older hunter could tell something was wrong, he was a father after all.\
Ert: Oh for God’s sake Crow. Grow up and own up to the fact that you messed up. Yang’s father didn’t force you to do anything. You lost control, of yourself and the class.
“So about that little monologue of yours… want to talk about it?”
Woods: Stop using that word
(I do not think it means what you think it means: 5)
“I hardly doubt you will understand”
Ert: I’m too twajick
“You do know I’m a huntsmen right? I know how it feels to lose people, trust me…”
“Your spouse yes?”
“Yea her and others. How did you know?”
Goeth: Well Duke kind of called you a widow. In front of the entire class. Wasn’t exactly brain surgery.
“Your daughter told me. To keep on walking despite the loss. It is admirable” the hunter felt his old eye patch. It was ready to fall apart anytime. A questioned lingered to the blond hunter
Why doesn’t he get a new eye patch?
Ert: Why? I’ll tell you why! TRAJEK
“I’m going to guess you didn’t”
“When you see someone dying in your own hands and knowing that you could have prevented the outcome it just… I…”
“You don’t have to say it kid”
“Thank you” the younger huntsmen made a faint smile
Woods: Uh. Was that supposed to be character development? Because I’m not feeling it. It was basically “I’m tragic” “So am I!” “WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON!”
Goeth: We need to start coining terms for these circumstances,
“What about the children you talked about and the.. suici- I mean beast blood thing?”
“That was a misspoken word” Gehrman lied
Ert: He didn’t say anything about suicide, and if he did we missed it after reading a second time. And Crow, that wasn’t just one word that hinted at that, it was more your entire Freudian Slip.
“The way you said it back there didn’t feel like it to me”
“May I ask you to refrain from the subject?”
“Nope” the hunter realized the tenacity of the blond brawler came from her father
“I… please just… leave it”
Goeth: “He was truly tenacious” “Please stop” “Ok” *Sort* I don’t think this story knows what the word tenacious means.
(I do not think it means what you think it means: 6)
but answer me this then. How long have you been lying to them?”
Ert: Oh, ever since I met them! They’re too inferior to know the truth.
“What do you mean?” he became startled by the question
“Just because I act like an idiot doesn’t mean I am one. Your aura is different from others. And somehow you managed to stand toe to toe with Ozpin not to mention you silenced the huntsmen and huntresses in your classroom with your aura”
Woods: I’m just gonna ding the counter for being forced to listen to that.
(Gary Stu Counter: 25)
“Does that mean something?”
“Well the fact that a student was able to fight the headmaster of an academy for training the best huntsmen and huntresses in all of Remnant is something to think about. Not to mention the fact that you managed to startled them with your aura. It takes years of experience to have that kind of presence with your aura you know”
Woods: Uh, you just said that. You just worded it slightly differently.
“That is a mere speculation.”
Ert: STOP! SAYING! MERE! Unlike the other words the author shoehorns in, Crow does use it correctly, but I would still appreciate it if he shut the fuck up about it.
“I guess it kinda is bu-” the older huntsmen used his speed to ambush the hunter. It was clearly different from the punch he blocked the first time they met, it was far faster than the original. With his instinct he quickly block the incoming fist. The older huntsmen smiled.
“A human wouldn’t been able to even see that punch. You see my semblance is enhancement meaning that I can double or triple even quadruple my speed and strength. I punched you with half of my strength and speed. You managed to see it and even block it with your own hand without even using your aura. If someone else does that their hands would have been shattered. So tell me”
Goeth: And despite being able to do this, he still let himself nearly get murdered by Crow so we could see how awesome Crow is. I guess he’s secretly suicidal. Also I forgot that ability in Bloodborne that allowed the player’s brain to react twice as fast.
(Gary Stu Counter: 26)
Ert: I look forward to the day authors figure out how to show off how awesome their characters are without feeling the need to pile drive it into our heads. And make it feel genuine.
“Tell you what?” the mood in the classroom grew heavy, tensions grew between the two
“Where did you really come from?”
“A village far away from the kingdom called Yharnam”
“Don’t lie to me”
“I am not lying to you”
Woods: You know Crow, telling him “Nuh-uh” isn’t the most convincing of counter-arguments.
“Your face tell me otherwise. Maybe you don’t know but I was a huntsmen fifteen years and I know when someone is lying and I’ll be damned to let my daughter be with someone that I have no damn clue about” Crow was startled by the surprising perception that the blond brute had
“…” Gehrman didn’t speak a word, only a troubled expression was shown
Ert: A troubled expression was shown? Oh goodie! In what museum can I find it!?
“You better tell me or I will do everything in my fiber of my being to stop being with my daughter and I will make sure that you’ll never be able to get close to my daughter”
Woods: Ok, this guy is officially my favorite character now, if only because he’s refusing to take any of Crow’s shit…well he is now.
the hunter still didn’t reply, he began to panic by the threat that was made to the hunter, he wanted to know why he panicked by it. Before he could notice it he took off his eye patch. Series of questions appeared in his mind
Goeth: What’s for dinner tonight? Where does he get his clothes? Can a Snake survive on a vegetarian diet? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. Hey, all he said was
Why did he do it?
Was it because for her?
“Are you even human?” Gehrman looked up at the disgusted face of the blond huntsmen.
Ert: Someone remind me what Crow’s eye is and how it works. It kind of kicks Bloodborne’s lore in the nuts, that’s all I remember.
“I…” the hunter made a troubled expression, he didn’t know how to answer the question.
“What are you doing Tai?” the two turned to see the headmaster of Beacon. He was saved from the question that he had no answer to,
Woods: Ozpin. GET! OUT! The best dad in the world is calling Crow out and I will not have you interrupting it!
“Ozpin how can you let this… thing be here?” the moon scented hunter frowned at the word but didn’t retaliate to the insult, for him it was the truth, he was in the boundary of being a human and a beast,
“What are you talking about?”
“Have you seen what’s under his eye patch?”
“That is none of my business as it is yours” Ozpin replied angrily
Goeth: He questions the Stu! SHUN! SHUN THE NON-BELEIVER!
“But it is your business that you ensure the safety of the students! How can you let this… monster be in this academy? Around my daughters?”
Ert: Seriously! Ozpin, Crow is…I have no idea what Crow is, but after that little incident in class today where he nearly went Incredible Hulk on everyone, I think it’s safe to say that maybe you should look for more than “I can use many weapons” when it comes to hiring staff. Christ, Ozpin was pretty much Willy Wonka in that he didn’t explain himself that much, but like Willy Wonka his actions had logic behind him. He wasn’t STUPID!
Crow shoved his way out between the two huntsmen. He ran fast as he could out of his classroom not wanting to hear more, the worst part was that it was the truth. All of it. He hated listening to the cruel reality, but deep inside he knew he would soon be awaken by it.
Woods: So Crow has essentially been ignoring reality? Finally, a character trait about him I can believe. Oh and Crow is running away from responsibility. Again. Man, guy is quite a coward. Not in a sympathetic way either.
“Gehrman!” Ozpin called out to the younger huntsmen
How can you let this… thing be here?
Goeth: He is a Stu! We are not allowed to question anything he does! Heretic! HERETICCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!!1111!!!!!1111
The hunter kept running not caring where he would be, he didn’t care where he would end up he just wanted to escape. He knew it, he made his way to his dorm passing by the look of the concerned students. As he ran he didn’t bother covering his cursed eye since classes were still going on. Only few students mainly being his class roamed the hall.
Ert: Wow. Even when he’s in a panic stricken state he can logically calculate the risks of his specul secret being revealed. Author. This is why so many people hate Crow. He isn’t a person. He’s a walking plot device whose name is “Reveal happening in T-minus X”
As he reached his dorm he opened the door with brute strength then slammed it shut. The door was broken from the impact. The electronic lock were broken. He didn’t bother changing he dove straight for the bed then under the sheet. It didn’t take a while until someone came in knocking
Woods: Diving under the sheet? What are you five? Oh right, everyone in this story is five.
After a soft knock the door opened. Crow didn’t bother to look who was there. He choose to bury himself in the comfort of the blankets. He felt another weight on his bed. He felt a gentle touch being partially blocked from the blanket.
Are you even human?
‘A question I want to know myself…’
Ert: Every time I try and feel sorry for myself people keep walking in! Get with the program people! I don’t share the spotlight.
“Nope, I’m going to stay here until you feel better”
Goeth: Sorry whoever is talking, you can’t afford to stay in one room for a thousand years.
“That means skipping class”
“You will be in trouble if you are caught”
“Your father will not be pleased about this”
Woods: Ok, writing tidbit. You need to work a lot of charm in in order to make a person saying the same line multiple times in a row come off as anything other than Akward. This scene? Didn’t pull it off.
“Do you have kind of fabric I can use?” the huntress was confused the the question
“I can get some bandages if you’re hurt”
Ert: How do you know he wants bandages? He said “Do you have some fabric” that could mean anything from cleaning up a spill to wanting something to jack off into. CHRIST the prose in this story is insubstantial, and so is the dialogue. One reviewer for this story said he had a friend from Egypt with no formal training in English that could write better than this, AND I BELIEVE HIM!
“Yes that would be nice thank you”
“I’ll be back”
He waited inside his blanket.
Goeth: Inside the blanket? Ok, who’s been playing with my inter-dimensional transporter? This is what happens when you don’t enter properly calculated coordinates.
for how long was something he couldn’t tell. He felt as if the time stopped only to resume by a flame, he chastised himself for revealing his guarded secret, why would he do it? Is she worth to him enough to spill the secret?
Woods: Wait he revealed his secret? When the bloody Hell did that happen!? He never told her anything! Oh great, we get Crow opening up without him actually opening up so he doesn’t have to break his facade of aloofness.
The familiar weight sat on the bed, she placed the bandage next to the hunter was consumed by the blanket. He Escaped the blanket to show his full face infront of the huntress. He had a jagged scar running down to his scarred eye. Without turning he took the bandage then tied it around his eye concealing it again. He turned to see the concerned huntress.
Ert: Nothing new there. Also he showed her the eye. Which means what again? I know it’s supposed to be connected to the beast plague but the story never really explains what’s up with this guy. Or how RWBY characters would find anything wrong with it.
Woods: I’m still ok with Yang’s dad getting angry about it though.
For a short blissful moment only silence existed, it felt like they were in their own world, their lips closed in until Gehrman quickly retracted back. He stood up from his bed to exit his dorm. The light that seeped through the dorm’s window shined on the huntress emphasizing her beauty. It felt like a dream for the hunter.
Ert: She comforts him and tries to kiss him and he just walks off. I just-GAH! Author, little bit of advice. Women have a tendency to fall for men who don’t act like douche guzzlers!
Then the two came close for a embrace but he realized what he was doing, he gently pushed the huntress back. The two teens turned pink due to the awkwardness. He had to do something to change the situation.\
Woods: So he’s NOT leaving?
“I must go now, thank you for checking up on me”
“Wait” he stopped
Ert: Oh now he is, MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND!
“When are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”
“Wrong with what?”
“Gehrman I know you’re hiding something”
“I don’t know what you are talking about” he turned his face to the door to hide his expression.
Woods: Yeah, see, this is why we called bullshit when he said he had revealed his secret to Yang earlier. He HASN’T! He’s still being the whiny and pretentious twit who needs to keep everything secret. Why do people consider this to be engaging?
“Then why does it look like that you’re trying to hide something?” he was startled by her surprising perception, he wondered if perception ran in family.
“I’m not hiding anything”
Ert: How many times have we had this conversation? “Tell me!” “NO!”. Author, do something different for the love of Christ!
“Why? Why are you lying to me all the time! Why can’t you see that I know you’re lying! Do you think I’m some kind of idiot?!”
“N-no of course not. Yang you need to cal-”
“NO!” Yang’s lilac eyes soon turned in red. “I’m tired of being lied to you tell me truth to me or don’t bother speaking to me again”
Woods: You tell the little snot nosed brat Yang!
“I…” hesitation and worry wrapped the hunter’s mind, he had to do what he had to do.
“I’m telling yo the truth, I’m not lying to you” the silence emerged again but it felt painful this time. Without speaking the huntress left his room. He sighed at the wreck he created but it had to be done. After all this was the best option… right?
Ert: Author…let me tell you something. Don’t you DARE try and make a couple out of these two. Love is built on many things, but most importantly, it’s built on trust. Crow has shown time and time again that he doesn’t trust Yang enough to tell him about who he really is. He keeps lying to her despite the fact that she says to his face to either tell the truth or piss off. That is so insulting and such a slap in the face just so Crow could continue to have a secret, something that wore out its welcome in chapter two, that I am insulted that you think that these two will end up together. Yang deserves better than this cunt.
Alright I need to say something, this chapter was harder than I thought so I am splitting the chapter into two parts since the other half will present a challenge for me, sorry about that guys…
Woods: This monster was supposed to be even LONGER!? Christ author, learn how to pace your chapters.
And the fact that I’m in summer school is shortening the time for me to work on it. The new chapter will be delayed…Sorry guys. SAT and AP classes are coming up soon and I need to start studying on it. I’ll try my best to make it
I’m still going to continue the story so don’t worry about that I enjoy doing it.
Ert: We weren’t worried.
I’ll come back to this chapter to edit it time to time.
Ert: That’s a fucking lie and you know it.