1093: The Legend of Dragoon: The Eighth Spirit – Chapter Seventeen

Title: The Legend of Dragoon: The Eighth Spirit
Author: PhoenixofShadows
Media: Video Game
Topic: Legend of Dragoon
Genre: Fantasy/Adventure
URL: The Legend of Dragoon: The Eighth Spirit
Critiqued by TacoMagic and Swenia

So, how are you holding up?

“I’m still having strange bouts of sudden positivity, but otherwise I appear to be mostly back to normal.”

Well, we have a short one this week, so you can ease back into things.  Anyway, recap!

Last time on the Eighth Spirit the team visited the Temple of Shirley. While there they beat the tar out of the shrine guardian, met Shirley, shared a ton of exposition, had personal revelations, and fed Stinky’s ego by telling him that he was right all along and doesn’t need to change. This all taken care of, they receive the white dragoon spirit, heal the guardian that they gutted like a pig on the way in, and start heading back to Lohan.

“I see that I didn’t really miss anything.”

The same could be said of anyone who doesn’t read this fic.

Chapter XVII: Another Dragoon

This title is very subtly foreshadowing that Shana is going to become the white dragoon.  Sorry to spoil the surprise for you all.

Racing through the crowds of people due to the rush hour of the shopping period, Stryfe, Dart, Rose and Lavitz hurried back to Sanator’s office, hoping that they still had time to give Shana the White Silver Dragoon Spirit they received from Shirley.

“Woof.”

I see that still hasn’t been cured.

“I’m not sure there IS a cure for awkwardness-induced barking.”

Hurrying through the door to Sanator’s office, they saw that Shana’s condition was getting much worse since they first brought her to Lohan.

You can tell this because previously she was unconscious, but now she’s unconscious and also berfumdulyhmfl.

Sanator: Did you find some Dragoni Plant!?

Stryfe: No. Something better!

“An entire glade of cannabis!”

Dude, they’re gonna get soooo high!

Stryfe hands the White Silver Dragoon Spirit to Dart, feeling that it should be him that gives it to Shana.

It’s almost as if Dart should have had it the entire time or something.

When Dart looked at him in surprise, Stryfe simply nodded to him. Dart nodded back silently in response.

“Get on with it! Author, what did you think was so interesting about this exchange of nods that you needed to include it?”

Dart: With this…We should be able to save her.

As implied when you said it was a better option to the iDragon.

Dart took Shana’s hands, which were cold and nearly lifeless, and put the White Silver Dragoon Spirit in them.

Are you sure that’s how it works? Maybe she’s supposed to take it orally.

“I always thought dragoon spirits functioned better as a suppository.”

As Dart backed away, the White Silver Dragoon Spirit began to brightly glow a silver light.

Ahh, I guess it does work like that.

“Shame, I was kinda hoping we’d get to see Slippy cram the eighth spirit up his ass.”

This came off as a surprise to Stryfe, Dart, Rose and Lavitz, who thought they would need to take out their spirits in order for it to work.

*SLAM*

Carbon Copy Syndrome: 61

Yup, they thought they’d need to use their own spirits, which is why nobody had them ready.

Stryfe: What the!?

Dart: Could it be!?

Is that… a thing!?

“What’s for lunch!?”

Lavitz: I thought the power couldn’t be released without the help from another spirit, right!?

*Shrug* Shirley wasn’t very specific on how this whole thing was supposed to work, so… maybe?

Stryfe: Yeah! But this is…!?

A THING!?

“Oh please be a thing!”

As the light emanating from the White Silver Dragoon Spirit became more and more intense, Stryfe, Dart, Rose and Lavitz, along with Sanator, were blinded by the radiant light the mythical orb gave off.

“Hey! Keep your damn character blob away from Sanator!”

*SLAM*

Carbon Copy Syndrome: 62

Dart: Shana!

Stryfe: Are you…okay!?

Shana: Dart…Stryfe…what is this?

“It’s either the white Dragoon spirit or a chunk of U235.”

Stryfe: The Dragoon Spirit of the White Silver Dragon!

Aww, man. I was really hoping for the uranium.

Dart: Is Shana really one of…us!?

Lavitz: She must be! She’s a Dragoon!

“Hey, assholes, don’t talk about her like she isn’t right there!”

Rose nodded.

Rose: That’s the case. Otherwise, this much power wouldn’t be drawn from the spirit at once. Shana purged the poison with her own power.

Okay, so I’m getting the impression that Shana might be a Dragoon.

“I’m not so sure. I think I may need another twenty or so lines of dialogue of them saying that she’s a Dragoon before I believe it.”

Sanator quickly checked Shana to make sure that she was okay. He turned to Stryfe, Dart, Rose and Lavitz, smiling.

“I cured her! I’m a genius! That’ll be six-thousand gold, please.”

Sanator: It’s true. Her spirit is back in her body. The poison is completely gone!

Uh, when was it not in her body? Was that a thing? Did her soul escape and that’s what they were trying to cure?

*Shakes fic*

ESTABLISH SHIT!

Shana looked at Stryfe and Dart with concern, as she had no idea what was going on.

“Does that mean Shana is the audience avatar for the fic?”

Probably. At the very least it means that we aren’t the only ones who have no idea what the hell is going on.

Shana: Dart…Stryfe…What’s going on?

If you’re going to say that line, then you didn’t need to include that narrative bit saying the same-

*Soothing Chimes*

“The hell is that?”

No time! Throw on your ceremonial Kimono and get out there!

“All right, but no peeking.”

*Swenia starts dressesing down*

“This… might take a while, we may as well keep going.”

Stryfe and Dart both took out their Dragoon Spirits in response, which both glowed and intense indigo and red light in response to Shana’s spirit. Rose and Lavitz also did the same with their spirits, which both glowed an intense green and dark blue light.

Oooookay? What’s the point of the lights display?

Dart: I don’t know if it’s a coincidence or fate, but you were saved with this power, Shana.

Coincidence and fate are pretty much the same thing viewed from different angles.

Stryfe: Tell us. Do you feel it? This is the power of the Dragons…the Dragoon!

“Can you maybe find a creepier way to phrase that? That was creepy, sure, but you can do better.”

As Shana looked down at the Dragoon Spirit she was holding once more, it began to react to her. It’s light became more intense than before.

“WE NEED MORE SCENES OF STUFF GLOWING!”

Not to mention people looking at things while they glow.

Shana: Yes…I feel it. The warm power of a Dragon…Not only powerful, but tender as well…

“I’ll be in my bunk.”

*Taco reaches back and snags Swenia’s tail as she turns to leave*

Nuh-uh, keep putting on that kimono.

“Awww.”

Everyone suddenly noticed Sanator was covering his eyes, the intense light the Dragoon Spirit was giving off was too much for him to bare.

Speaking of bare, how’s the Kimono coming.

“Just getting the hadajuban sorted. Only two layers after this one.”

Sanator: Excuse me, it’s too bright and I cannot see! Can you please put that away!?

Shana: Oh! Sorry!

Shana quickly put her new Dragoon Spirit into on of her pockets on her belt. As the light cleared, Sanator opened his eyes.

‘As the light cleared?’ Author, light doesn’t work like that.

Dart: Can you get up, Shana?

As Stryfe and Dart watched, Shana casually got off the bed. Excited to feel better, she twirled in a circle and smiled.

Shana: Oh my! I’m fine now!

Did I say six-thousand gold? I meant sixteen-thousand gold.

Stryfe: Seems you’re back to your old self, Shana.

Dart: I…don’t know what to say…I’m just so happy.

“We can totally tell. What with the dialogue where you tell us your emotions.”

Stryfe: I think you’re more than just happy, Dart. *chuckles*

Um, is… is Sticky suggesting that Dart is… Uh…

“Pitching a tent.”

Right, that.

Dart: Wh-What!? Sh-Shut up, Stryfe.

“It’s just a banana in my pocket!”

Sanator: I guess I wouldn’t understand even if you all explained to me what just happened. But seeing it is a miracle with my own eyes!

“I did a miracle! Twenty-six thousand gold!”

Stryfe: We couldn’t have kept her alive without you, Doc. Thanks.

Dart: I guess we should give you something as a thank you.

Yeah, you know, like paying him for services rendered. That would be pretty nice.

Sanator shook his head.

Sanator: I don’t need a reward. Just end the war quickly. That will do just fine.

Sanator, how the hell do you feed yourself? You nurse somebody in your clinic for [error timeline missing], and you don’t even charge them a bed fee.

Stryfe: With Feyrbrand gone, the rest will be taken care of by King Albert soon.

Whoa, what now? So, you guys kill the dragon and then King Albert is supposed to take out the entire rest of the Sandorian army by himself? You might just be asking a little too much from one dude. Just sayin’.

Sanator: Wait, I must ask. Was it you five that defeated the Dragon?

Stryfe, Dart, Shana, Rose and Lavitz nodded silently.

“You can believe them because you’ve known the group for several minutes and the dragon hasn’t been seen in at least a day.”

Sanator: Hmm, you may win your way through to a pretty high level. Wait, not only that. One of you may be able to win the title of the strongest in the world.

Stryfe: Strongest in the world?

Dart: What do you mean, Sanator?

I see we’re edging closer to the whole ‘let’s drop everything and join a fighting competition because reasons’ portion of the game. Yeah, it really didn’t make any sense in the game given the whole war thing, so I’m glad it was kept for the fic. It kinda serves a purpose of introducing one of the key antagonists as well as the battle arena, but it’s still really out of place so far as the plot is concerned.

Sanator: There is a tournament being held in the ring in the slums right now. Every year, warriors gather from all over Endiness to determine who is the strongest warrior in all the land through brains and brawn. It is called the Hero Competition. If you’re interested, go there and register.

As I said, seems like this would be something that got delayed/canceled with the war going on.

Stryfe: Sounds interesting.

Dart: I agree. I don’t think there’s anything we need to worry about right now, so why don’t we go and kill some time?

“You know, other than the huge war going down that has involved both dragon and dragoon in the fighting. That can totally wait.”

Stryfe: Good idea, Dart.

“NO IT ISN’T! IT’S A FUCKING AWFUL IDEA!”

There she is. How’s the kimono coming?

“Almost ready to start in on the nagajuban.”

Giving their thanks to Sanator, Stryfe, Dart, Shana, Rose and Lavitz left his residence and traveled down towards the slums of Lohan.

*SLAM*

Carbon Copy Syndrome: 63

Eager to see what challenges awaited him, Stryfe felt his heart race as soon as the Lohan Arena came into his view…

OH NO YOU DO-

*Swenia wraps her obi around Taco’s head, pulls him over onto the ground, then hogties him*

“See, I love the kimono not just because it’s stylish, but also very functional. Until next week, patrons!”

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27 Comments on “1093: The Legend of Dragoon: The Eighth Spirit – Chapter Seventeen”

  1. AdmiralSakai says:

    Stryfe hands the White Silver Dragoon Spirit to Dart, feeling that it should be him that gives it to Shana.

    Are you sure that’s how it works? Maybe she’s supposed to take it orally.

    “I always thought dragoon spirits functioned better as a suppository.”

    This came off as a surprise to Stryfe, Dart, Rose and Lavitz, who thought they would need to take out their spirits in order for it to work.

    Shana: Yes…I feel it. The warm power of a Dragon…Not only powerful, but tender as well…

    Hey, iI’m open-minded, I don’t care if you take out your dragoon spirit and give it to Shana orally or rectally, just as long as you get consent.

  2. AdmiralSakai says:

    Sanator: Did you find some Dragoni Plant!?

    Stryfe: No. Something better!

    “An entire glade of cannabis!”

    And believe me, we’re gonna need it.

  3. Herr Wozzeck says:

    Well, we have a short one this week, so you can ease back into things.

    Thank fuck for that!

  4. Herr Wozzeck says:

    “I’m not sure there IS a cure for awkwardness-induced barking.”

    Well, Swenia, I’ve heard of this super-expensive procedure…

  5. Herr Wozzeck says:

    Oooookay? What’s the point of the lights display?

    Because this suddenly started playing in the background:

  6. Herr Wozzeck says:

    Excited to feel better, she twirled in a circle and smiled.

    If you’re going to make her suddenly a super-feminine character, why not go all the way and add this:

  7. Herr Wozzeck says:

    Sanator: Hmm, you may win your way through to a pretty high level. Wait, not only that. One of you may be able to win the title of the strongest in the world.

    *frown*

    I’m sorry, did we enter a completely different fic when I wasn’t looking? I…

    *gasp*

    OH MY GOD WE ENTERED TWENTY WARRIORS! FUCK!

    *jumps behind the desk.

    SAVE YOURSELVES! SAVE YOURSEEEEEEEEEEELVES!

    • TacoMagic says:

      To be fair to the author, it’s canon. Stupid, but canon. The plot basically goes:

      War, war, war, war, war, dragon, war, dragon, poisoned teammate, OMFG TOURNAMENT OF WARRIORS!!!!, war, war…

      • Tie Dye Mage says:

        Tournament of Warriors? Does that mean the Saiyans are going to show up at some point and steal the spotlight from all the other characters? If so, then this story might get more interesting.

  8. Tie Dye Mage says:

    Stryfe: Yeah! But this is…!?

    SPARTA!!

    BAM!!

  9. Tie Dye Mage says:

    “See, I love the kimono not just because it’s stylish, but also very functional. Until next week, patrons!”

    Uhh, what about the DRD? They’re still waiting at the door.


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