1085: The Final Hunt- Chapters Six and Seven

Title: The Final Hunt
Author: Uhjinhyuk55
Media: Video Game/Anime
Topic: Bloodborne/RWBY
Genre: Drama/Adventure
URL: Chapter 6 & Chapter 7
Critiqued by Erttheking

Goeth: So what’s on the agenda for today?

Woods: Double chapters. It’s one of those stories, where one chapter can be 7,000 words and the next one can be 900. Real pain in the ass to deal with. I mean, not every chapter needs to be the same length, but some form of bar is nice, especially when one chapter lacks anything or one is stuffed with padding.

Nora: We criticizing the short or the long chapter?

Woods: Both

Goeth: Well some crazy hobo stole Alfred’s clothes and is running around calling himself Alfred despite the fact that his personalty is the polar opposite. It’s how I spent my time in-between jobs.

The street was now desolate of lives only five hunters and the strayed executioner, the carriage that once took the priest vanished,

Woods: See, the carriage does disappear after you take a ride to Cainhurst Castle, but it does it in a much creepier and effective way. We mentioned this before, but the bridge behind you turns out to be broken and you find two horse corpses nearby. Ones that have been dead for a LONG time. A lot more interesting than “It just vanished”

the two Yharnamites, the two began to emanate blood lust of each other a black and red aura faintly surrounded hunter,

Goeth: Ah yes, faintly surrounding, when you surround someone but you do it kind half assed. And emanating blood lust. When you look at someone’s blood and then show signs of sexual arousal. Increased heartbeat and-

Woods: ANYWAY!

he hunter broke his blade in two, the sound of metal echoed in the dead streets, the four huntress were oblivious in this situation for the better or worse

Nora: You think that they could have figured out the basics from their conversation last chapter. Alfred took control of a group and now wants to kill Crow for being part of the group that he just took over…no wait they are oblivious in that situation. And so are we. Because this fic can’t explain jack.

“You four must leave now” the hunter gripped his blade ready strike at any moment

“Gehrman we can help!”

“Go now”

Goeth: Away peasants! Only the pure and mighty master race of Yharnam may do anything important in this story! I mean we’re uber better than you!

The hunter didn’t look back, the hunters of Yharnam stared off intensely,

Nora: Oh Christ, it was bad enough when Hunter only referred to crow, now there’s around six people that term can refer to and it’s still being stuffed into every corner! The author’s poor u-n-e-r-h-t keys.

the golden helm shined within the street light, the wheel seemed more sinister than ever, the healing church was no better than the Cainhurst both were equally evil, so an executioner riding on a Cainhurst carriage was a sight to behold, the hunter knew that his Oath wasn’t a paragon of justice either, that he knew

Woods: My oath isn’t squeaky clean but I’m going to be bastardizing everyone else into cartoonishly one dimensional characters and only vaguely say what I’m also bad. And I’m going to say the church is evil even though I didn’t consider Alfred an enemy before now.

Nora: Here’s the thing. The Healing Church has done a LOT of nasty shit. They know about the truth of the Old Ones, but they spread lies about it and trick the masses into worshiping the beings that are tearing the world apart. The UPPER church does that, the Healing Choir. The lower church is just as in the dark as the masses.

Woods: Oh, and we learned that the reason the Vilebloods were branded heretics by the by Church was that the Church thought that they would be more likely to receive the favor of the Old Ones than them. The only thing the Vilebloods did was attack hunters for their blood, which looks pretty tame compared to the HUMAN EXPERIMENTATION that the Healing Church pulled off! So can this author stop making all the bad guys Saturday morning cartoon villains?

“We’re not leaving” the hunter turned to the blond brawler

“This does not concern you”

“But-”

“Ruby this is no-” the hunter turned but quickly turned again to see the executioner again, the two charged at each other,

Goeth: Why do you question me you filthy foreigners? Do as I say and allow me to prove the superiority of my breeding.

the wheel collided against the hunter’s blade, Crow struggled against the wheel, as the blade did not have any defensive capabilities, the hunter shouted loudest he can

“Go now!” the four hesitated but ran, now he could fight without hesitation

Nora: And now he can fight better because now he can show the fuck off and not have to worry about anyone else getting any attention in this story. God forbid.

The hunter dashed back, the hunter unleashed multiple strikes but the priest had one advantage, the priest had his pistol,

Goeth: DRAT! And as it was established, Crow can’t use his pistol in a life or death situation because he’ll wake up the neighbors! DAMN YOU NEIGHBORLY COURTESIES!

he began to fire at the hunter zigzagged around the empty street dodging the silver bullets, for him it was fatal more than ever and the wheel could be used as a shield and every time there was an opening the hunter would be pushed back by the bullet, he needed his pistol

Woods: Crow is dodging bullets. Uh-huh.

(Gary Stu Counter: 12)

Woods: And the wheel can be used as a shield and overtime there was an opening the bullet would push him back…the hell is that sentence trying to say? And where the fuck did Crow’s pistol go?

“What’s wrong hunter? Can’t fight?” the hunter kept silent, he had to kill him, it was the only thing to honor his friend, the empty husk was nothing but a remnant of his glory,

Nora: Yes, I must kill my friend to honor his glory of working for the organization I think is evil.

The hunter and the executioner were fighting to the death, the hunter made precision strikes to the weak part of the wheels, soon he found an opening but the pistol refrained him for doing so,

Goeth: Every single time because Alfred can see into the future and always shoots his pistol at every single possible opening.

he needed to even the odds, now the wheel was descending on the hunter, with no choice he had to block it with the blade, he began to think his options but none of it could help him he had to do something he had-

Woods: Jesus Christ author, throw in a period here or there, they don’t bite.

Three shots echoed in the fog ridden street, the executioner lost the footing due to the dust bullets but took no damage,

Goeth: Bullets do not harm him due to his superior genes.

Nora: Seriously, bullets in Bloodborne do that “Does less damage than swords” thing, but they would do some damage. This is just more “Oh look how much better Bloodborne is than RWBY, that show’s lammmmmme”

the executioner fixed his vision on the fanus, ignoring the hunter the executioner charged at the huntress, the wheel split in two revealing its second form, the huntress took a defensive stance, Crow chased the priest

Woods: So who is it? All we know is that it’s a Fanus. It could be any of the Fanus characters.

Before the wheel could reach the fanus Crow took the hit instead,\

Nora: Uh, I think Blake (yeah we managed to stitch that together from a line a few paragraphs ahead that says that the Fanus has cat years) could’ve dodged that. After all she has an ability where she can move quickly and leave a duplicate behind, that could’ve-

Goeth: NO! CROW MUST SACRIFICE SELF SO HE CAN BE HERO! COMMONER SWINE CAN’T DO ANYTHING PRODUCTIVE, IT THE LAW!

the wheel descended upon the hunter’s back almost shattering his spine, the body slammed onto the hard pavement, the only thing in his vision was the cat eared huntress, the executioner slammed his wheel against the hunter

over and over and over again,

Woods: Pardon me, I’m just going to enjoy this.

Gehrman reached out his hand to the huntress, he was trying fruitlessly to tell her to get away,

Goeth: Stop…trying to steal my thunder.

he could see the amber eyes shaken by fear, the hunter’s back numbed from the repeated strikes, he struggled to keep his eye open fruitlessly pleading her to get away but he was taken by the cold darkness again, a cycle he hated so much, but maybe now without the dream he could rest easy

Durarara Sought After Extraordinary

Nora: And I have so little faith that that paragraph had an emotional impact, I ask you to look up a song so that it can make you feel emotional for my shitty story. Also Blake, a stoic character, is scared because author can’t be bothered to get people in character.

The wounded hunter soon find himself in a bed once more but this time the bed was a lot softer and the color was pink brown, the room was the same color as the the bed, variety of soft dolls surrounded the bed, the blanket had a sweet scent, the hunter turned to see a small child, her hair was brown and pink as well as the eyes, the two stared until she wrote something on a paper

Woods: Good God, that entire paragraph was a single sentence. The author just kept throwing out disjointed thought after disjointed thought then hit the enter key.

Hey

“Hello…”

You ok?

“Yes I feel fine”

You got bashed to death by a wheel…

Nora: Except if he died he would be…well dead. In Bloodborne your tie to the Hunter’s Dream brings you back to life, but it was established that he didn’t have that anymore, so what the Hell. In fact how did he ever get to where he is, how did Neo (The person he’s talking to, kind of a supporting antagonist) get involved and what happened to Team RWBY? I don’t know, THE STORY NEVER EXPLAINS IT!

Goeth: Yup. We looked ahead and an explanation is never given for what the Hell just happened here. Crow just sorta didn’t die and magically made his way here somehow. So let’s get this in.

(Pointless Counter: 13)

the hunter shuddered internally “Yes I did”

You’re fine?

“Yes I am”

No offense but you should be dead

Woods: On account of the fact that I specifically said “You got bashed to death” and yet somehow you’re not dead because…Gary Stu I guess. In fact let’s throw another ding in there.

(Gary Stu Counter: 13)

“It won’t be the first time…”

What’s your name?

“I am Gehrman Crow and you are?”

Neo Politan the child kept writing after

Goeth: The child kept writing after…what?

What kind of name is Gehrman Crow? Sounds like you made it up

Nora: Well he kinda did.

“Child where are your parents?”

First of all I’m not a kid I’m 22, second I was the one that saved your bloody ass

Goeth: I saved you for no reason by doing thing!

“Oh.. I apologize about that”

Eh, it’s fine anyways you hungry?

“Yes I am famished now that you ask”

There’s a spare clothe for you so take one come outside when you’re done the short fighter stood up from her chair

Woods: Man, it sucks that bolded words don’t carry over from FF.net, it makes reading this really confusing when we can’t tell what’s supposed to be Neo’s writing. Ah well, it should be more clear in the prose anyway. Also clothe is a verb, not a noun.

“Wait before you go” the short fighter turned

“Thank you for saving I owe you a debt” she gave him a small mature grin

Don’t sweat it kid, now hurry up

“Where are we going?”

A friend of mine owns a club he’s hell of a cook

Nora: And now he’s gonna stuff his face instead of, oh I don’t know, tracking down Alfred, seeing if team RWBY is alright, figuring out what the hell is going on, no, just face stuffing for our genius Stu.

Sorry about the mix up and the chpater becoming shorter I thought it was for the best, everything will be fixed soon, anyways as usual reviews are always appreciated

Goeth: Story sucks.

Chapter 7: Confession?

Nora: What, are you not sure if that’s the chapter title?

Gehrman couldn’t believe it, it was the same club he was in but worst of all he saw the two same girls he knocked out before.

Woods: Right, in that scene that was utterly pointless. Huh, just I should clarify which one, there were kind of a lot.

He had nothing to worry about since he wore his mask. The club he was in with Neo was very disorienting for the hunter, flashing lights loud sounds, and the smell of alcohol overwhelmed the hunter’s sense of smell.

Goeth: Well we better batten down for the DRD-oh right I killed them. HA!

When the two entered the club he was immediately pull in by a large man named Junior before he could speak with the two twins.

Nora: As opposed to the three twins. Man, Goeth really did save us a lot of headaches with that chemical attack. Also the twins are there. Apparently.

He was now in a room with couple of guards and the owner of the club himself, it was almost like an interrogation.

“Who the hell are you?”

“I am Gehrman Crow it is a plea-” the hunter extended his arm for a handshake but the large man slammed his fist to the table, the hunter didn’t flinch at all,

“I sent my best men to search only information was that you attend Beacon.”

Woods: I sent my best man whatshisface to search whoknowswhere in the…how long has it been since you got here?

Nora: Dear LORD that sentence makes the English language cry.

“Why would you want to search me?”

Goeth: And apparently he searched Crow’s person too. At some point.

“I’m the one asking the question here eye patch, so answer me who the hell are you?”

“Like I said I am Gehrman Crow and I wish not to be called by such name please” the hunter asked politely

Woods: So he doesn’t want to be known by the name he gave himself? Uh. Ok.

“I make the rule here eye patch you better start answering before I start hurting you” the hunter’s vein popped through his forehead lightly by the name, he took a deep breath.

Nora: WHO ARE YOU!?

Woods: Alison Woods.

Nora: ANSWER THE QUESTION

Woods: I said-

Nora: DON’T PLAY GAMES WITH ME!

“Please do not call me eye patch sir I do not like it”

Goeth: Well we can’t call you Crow, we can’t call you Eye Patch, what can we call you? Horse Fucker?

“Then make me.” the hunter’s brow was raised

“Does that include use of force?” Junior laughed he flicked at the eye patch, the hunter tried his best not to punch the man in the face, the eye patch bared the mark of his oath and no one would ever disrespect it.

Nora: *Sigh* Just get to the part where he “owns” Junior already. You know, scenes like this where someone gets karma for being jackass can be done well, but it tends to work better when they’re not being used just to suck off the resident Gary Stu, whose deep throat session has usually been going on since chapter one.

However he was in a different environment and in the hospitality of someone else, he needed to maintain respect to the person of host.

Woods: Starting the timer.

Their size may be different but he killed a beasts that was twice as big as Junior on a daily basis.

Goeth: I need to pay respect to this person whose size I am comparing to things I killed.

“Please don’t flick my eye patch sir”

“Make me eye patch”

“Does that include use of force?” the thugs in the room laughed, as for the hunter he took that as a yes.

Nora: Guess that showing respect to the host thing went out the window real fast.

“So you think dad is going to scare him?” militia turned to the short fighter she began to write in her paper

Doubt it, I think he’ll kick his ass

Woods: Just because you called Neo short one time doesn’t mean you can use it as a stand in for her name.

“What makes you think that? he doesn’t look that tough…”

Trust me I can tell

Goeth: I mean, he’s got all the trademarks of being a Gary Stu

As if that was the cue suit clad thugs and the owner himself flew out of the room. The hunter shrugged off the dust he had, he slowly approach to Junior emanating malice.

Nora: Ok, seriously, stop saying “He was emanating x” get a little more creative than that. Say something like “Fury was etched into his face” or “His lips twisted into a cruel smile” or even “His eyes were as still and cold as stone” but a LITTLE EFFORT IN!

The big man himself began to back away while on the ground, the hunter crouched at the frightened criminal.

“Insult my eye patch, you insult my oath,insult my oath the price will be worse than death do you understand? For now this will be a warning”

Woods: Yeah, insult my eyepatch and I’ll kill you! I’M A NICE GUY! Also it’s only when people I don’t like as I didn’t react when Yang called me a “Mafia” or suggested I get a new one, but when they insult my oath, it’s ok…and what the fuck is so great about your oath? Exactly what have you done for the Hunters of the Hunters recently? Jack shit that’s what. I’m sick of characters saying how important their “code” or “honor” is to them without ever actually going into it.

the hunter formed a fist on his hand then punched hin in the face knocking the owner out with ease

Nora: Well, it was only a matter of time.

(Gary Stu Counter: 14)

Then hunter simply asked then joined the three fighters without waitng for an answer, the two twins stared at the hunter with a shocked expression

“How…?”

Told you so Neo grinned at the result

Goeth: Hehe, I like seeing my friend in pain. (Granted Neo IS a bit of a sadist but still…)

“It would not be the first time I had to kil- I mean fight a man that is bigger than me” the hunter quickly changed his words

Goeth: FREUDIAN SLIP ALERT! FREUDIAN SLIP ALERT! FREUDIAN SLIP ALERT!

Nora: You know, you’d think someone who doesn’t want to talk about his past wouldn’t be dropping hints about it every two seconds. It’s like, oh I don’t know, SAYING YOU DON’T WANT TO FIGHT ANYMORE THEN CONSTANTLY GETTING INTO FIGHTS!

“Well… I don’t think he’ll get up for a while and no one comes around here at this time, you guys want a drink?”

“I would not mind I could use some actually”

Now you’re talking

Woods: I thought you were hungry?

Goeth: I’M WHATEVER I WANT TO BE! I’M HIGHBORN COMPARED TO YOU!

Vale

“Blake calm down I’m sure we’ll find him” Yang began to calm her partner

“But Yang it could be my fault that he could be dead!”

“Blake, we’ll find him” the leader calmed the fanus

Nora: We could look for him by asking Blake what happened after the fight, but apparently the author forgot to make it so that something happened after the fight. So Blake just magically disappeared, Crow teleported to Junior’s club, and Alfred just got bored and went off instead of completing his mission.

“I know this is going to sound bad, but this place called Yharnam apparently doesn’t exist”

“What do you mean Weiss?” the heiress brought up her scroll

“I used the company’s search to see dust’s shipment to every town and villages but Yharnam wasn’t in the list at all”

Woods: I’m surprised it took her this long to connect the dots about that place.

“Ozpin said that he was from a far village” the brawler refuted

“That’s why I went to the library but it didn’t have any results at all” the four huntress went silent

“Do you think he’s from another world?”

“That’s… a possibility”

Nora:…Or he could be lying. I mean I know he is from another world, but you need more to go on that “His town doesn’t exist.”

Maybe that’ll explain that strange symbol Yang thought the symbol that the hunter’s eye patch bared

“It is a burden I chose to carry”

“You will carry a heavy sin”

The two lines said by the hunter flashed into her mind, she wanted to know what he meant she could care less about the hunter from being another world

Ert: COULDN’T! YOU COULDN’T CARE LESS! Could care less implies that you do care to some degree!

The four huntress began to search for the lost hunter, they kept searching until the sun began to set.

Goeth: Wait, it was nighttime when Alfred attacked them, so he’s been at the club for…eighteen hours.

Junior’s Club

The bar within the club was now clattered with bottles with three fighters comforting the crying hunter, as for Junior and his men if they approach the hunter within 10 feet they would meet with a glare that would kill a nevermore twice not to mention a sword hung to the hunter’s side.

“I’m so sorrrryyyy Militia~” the hunter tear’s overflowed his head on buried on the bar and his arms covering his head, several empty bottles were around the hunter

Woods: Oh Christ. We’re moving onto the “comedy” section of the chapter. And three women are snuggling up to him while he does it. That. Counts.

Nora: Jealous?

Woods: I prefer my women older you very much.

(Gary Stu Counter: 15)

17 years old and drinks like a sailor already mother must be proud

Goeth: Enjoy losing your alcohol license for serving a minor!

“Like I said what are you sorry about?”

“For kicking you in the faaaaaceeee~~~” the hunter’s face was covered in tears\

Woods:…When did that happen?

“You didn’t kick me in the face the only time I got…wait”

“I’m sorrryyyyyyy~~” in a burst of emotion the sadness turned to a full 180 degrees

“INNKEEPER I DEMAND MORE OF THIS this… atleisan vodka?” the hunter slammed the bottle that he was holding, the three flinched at the change of emotion

Nora: Well I got some right here. Hold on a second, I just need to get the proper angle to use the bottle properly. There we go, that’s a nice open swing at the back of your skull. *SMASH*

“B-but we ran out…”

“THEN GET ME SOMETHING ELSE!” the hunter paused for a moment he clung on to the pink and brown fighter

“I’m soroooorry Militia~” tear bursted out once more,

Woods: Really, when you get down to it, every unfunny joke deserves to be asked the same question. “What was I supposed to laugh at just now?” What is so funny about Crow acting like an overemotional toddler when in the previous chapter Alfred was grinding him into bloody chunks? Hell, why is he even getting drunk in the first place?

Neo smirked she began to scribble

It’s ok I forgive you

Nora: He. Wasn’t. Talking. To. You.  Also smirk.  Glad I borrowed this from Taco.  GONG!

“*sniff* thank you Militia you truly are wonderful… please marry me”

“I’m right here!” a man in a red necktie and black suit approached the hunter cautiously

“H-h here you go…” the hunter took the bottle, he began to chug it until the bottle went empty

“THIS IS NOT WHAT I ASKED FOR!” the hunter smashed the bottle over the well dressed thug’s head they both dropped

Woods: So he’s not just an asshole who attacks people over really minor shit, he’s an asshole who attacks people for no real reason. Because he’s drunk. For “comedy” By the way.

(Pointless Counter: 14)

“So… what do we do now?” Militia looked to the short fighter

I got this, besides I had enough fun for today

The short fighter unfolded her parasol then grabbed the hunter the two disappeared within the flash of light.

Goeth: So she could’ve done that at any time. Really this scene only went on as long as it did because the author said it did.

Nora: You know, a good author would’ve used this chapter to develop Crow’s character, get him to know more about what’s going on in the world of RWBY. What did we get instead? “Crow’s drunk. IT FUNNY!”

Vale Cafe (evening)

The four huntress were in a cafe few people along with team RWBY, it was nearing the closing time, after endless searching the four were tired. Yang specially as she had a heavy look on her face.

Woods: Why have a location tag if you feel the need to establish where the scene is in the first sentence? You know, LIKE A PROPER AUTHOR IS SUPPOSED TO!

“Don’t worry Blake we can try tomorrow”

“But Ruby what if he’s still out there? For all we know he-” the heiress interrupted the fanus

“Blake we’ll find him no matter what” Ruby looked to her sister after she calmed Blake who sat next to her

“You ok sis?”

“Y-yeah I’m fine I just hope we can find him tomorrow” Yang sighed after

“Don’t worry Yang we’ll find him and professor Ozpin he’ll help us too!”

Goeth: We could’ve done that today, in fact we could’ve reported this to anyone, but if we did we would’ve missed out on the crucial “Crow gets drunk” scene

the sister tried her best to cheer Yang

“But it’s not like he’ll appear right in front of us…”

Woods: Get out. Get out right now and don’t come back until you tell a proper joke.

Blake muttered under her breath but it was loud enough for them to head

As if she jinxed the hunter appeared on the table that team RWBY was resting in in the flash if white, during their blindness she quickly teleported out of the cafe leaving with a small note under the hunter’s shirt.

“Uugh what happened”

Nora: I would love to know what the flying Hell happened this chapter whoever just spoke, but the story doesn’t feel like its genius needs to be explained.

Ruby rubbed her eyes she gasped what she saw, the boy familiar boy with the long black hair was now lying on the table with the stench of alcohol a distinctive eye patch could be seen. The four huntress couldn’t believe their eyes, Blake’s jinx worked Ruby quickly made hers

“It’s not like bunch of cookies will rain” she then quickly looked out to the window no cookies were raining she turned her head to the hunter who began to slowly wake up, he was still drunk after bottles of drinks

Goeth: Bottles made out of drinks? HA! I knew those would catch on.

Woods:  Pretty tame for you.

Goeth:  Sometimes I like to explore the mundane.  Sometimes I find something that’s a stepping stone for a more interesting concept.

“Innkeeper? I demand more!” the hunter slurred his speech

Nora: Because when people are drunk they can’t tell when they’ve gone to a completely different place outside.

“Gehrman!” As for the fanus a slight tear formed on her face, she hugged the hunter tightly the surprising part was Yang did the same thing, as for the hunter he had no idea what was going on.

“Eileen… I told you I am not… not dead yet, you bloody church bell” the two let go of the hunter with a smile on their faces.

Woods: Apparently church bell is an actual Victorian slang. That being said, why is he name dropping Eileen? Well despite the fact that he says he doesn’t want to talk about his past, he brings it up every five seconds. It’s like saying someone can’t have pie, then constantly shoving it in their face.

“You’re back…” the brawler softly whispered

“I think he’s drunk” Weiss pinched her nose to block out the smell, Yang picked up the hunter in a piggy back style the four huntress began to leave despite the stare they were give from the patrons.

Goeth: Despite? I didn’t know you were supposed to stay when people started staring at you. I feel silly now.

The hunter opened his eyes slowly only to realize he was being carried onto someone’s back, it felt warm and comforting, blond locks of hair tickled the hunter’s nose but the sweet smelled soothed the hunter, slowly breaking Crow out of his drunken state. This warmth was something the hunter has felt before. The sun began to set in the empty air strip the only sound that was with them was the sound of bullhead flying off.

“Hmn… Yang?”

“Hey you’re awake!” he turned to his left to see the icy heiress and the hooded huntress while on the right it was the fanus

Nora: When the Hell did he fall asleep? And why is so much of what happens in this story not shown to us?

“You finally up?”the hunter groggily opened his eye, he fell out of Yang’s carry the hunter didn’t bother to say anything he slowly got himself up,

“You alright?” the hunter ignored Ruby’s question, the hunter simply shrugged it off

“Shang.. Yang?”

Woods: Not even close..

“Yup still here”

“Before I die… ” the hunter’s tone changed grimly, it was as if he would die soon

Nora; OH YOU DON’t SAY!

(Goldfish Counter: 7)

“You’re not gonna die silly!”

Goeth: *Revs cordless drill* I CAN FIX THAT!

“B-before I die I want to tell you…*hic*” the hunter tried his best to speak

“I have killed many people, done unspeakable deeds… Enough to be rejected in hell… I was submerged in the dark dream…” the four hunttress watched as the hunter began to speak out of his drunken stupor and solemn,

Woods: Christ, even when he’s plastered out of his mind he can’t help but be an emo pretentious twat.

A small roll of tear came out of his eye. the hunter put both of his hands on the brawler’s shoulder, he looked up to her face tears rolling out of his eye, the eye patch remained dry

“You are the light in my darkness… ” the hunter went on to his knees his hand gripped on the brawler’s vest, he continued to speak

Nora: Uh. She is? Since when? Honestly you’ve have just as much relationship building with fucking Jaune. You deciding out of nowhere that Yang is your love interest is pretty fucking arbitrary.

“Please stay with me…” Yang only smiled at the hunter, she kneel with the hunter and gave a warm hug.

“I won’t go anywhere I’m right here Gehrman”

Goeth: He, on the other hand *Revs drill* can make no such promises.

“Goud… Yang? I think I have fallen for you” the hunter would regret his confession after his painful hangover tomorrow, but for now he didn’t regret a thing

The four huntress stared at the drunken/crying huntsmen as the sun began to set,

Woods: So he’s in wove with Yang…I guess I’m supposed to think it’s sweet…not feeling. Also. Alfred? The Executioner? Uh, what happened with him? Hello? Nothing?

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38 Comments on “1085: The Final Hunt- Chapters Six and Seven”

  1. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    It’s one of those stories, where one chapter can be 7,000 words and the next one can be 900.

    Well, at LEAST this author didn’t say “next chapter is going to be the longest one so far” and then give us the shortest chapter in the story, then say crap like “this one wasn’t long because I was lazy.” in the A.N.

  2. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Well some crazy hobo stole Alfred’s clothes and is running around calling himself Alfred

    This Alfred must be Crazy Steve’s butler, right?

  3. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    the two began to emanate blood lust of each other

    OH DEAR GOD NO!

    I haven’t even PLAYED Bloodborne, yet somehow I still know that I do NOT need that mental image!

  4. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    “Gehrman we can help!”

    “Go now”

    Missed another obvious joke there, ert.
    “But dad, I fight!”
    “No, son, go with people!”

  5. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Just looked it up, and Bloodborne’s premise sounds awfully familiar to the story of SCP-093.

  6. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    “yeah we managed to switch that together”

    Should be “stitch”

  7. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Gehrman reached out his hand to the huntress, he was trying fruitlessly to tell her to get away

    Blockquote 2: Blockquote Harder!

    Also, I’m not familiar with Blake’s character since I only watched the first episode of RWBY, but I’m pretty sure a Huntress wouldn’t be so helpless that she couldn’t even GET AWAY.

    • erttheking says:

      Especially considering Blake has this whole Shadow Clone ability thing where she can create decoys. Also considering that Alfred took what I assume to be a good twenty seconds pounding Crow into mush, couldn’t Blake, you know, attack him while he’s occupied?

    • Tie Dye Mage says:

      Blockquote 2: Electric Boogaloo

  8. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Obligatory joke time!

    the executioner slammed his wheel against the hunter

    over and over and over again,

    What the author thinks he’s portraying:

    What the author is actually portraying:

  9. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Pink… brown? The bed is pink brown? What the fuck kind of colour is that?

    Maybe it used to be pink, but someone crapped on it.

  10. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Wait… At first I thought this Neo character is some sorta supernatural presence that lives in her own dimension or something. But after looking it up on the Wiki, it turns out that… she’s just some girl with an umbrella sword?

    Also, she can create illusions. Is that what happened here?

    • AdmiralSakai says:

      Here, apparently, she can teleport.

    • erttheking says:

      Basically. She’s very good at…well I’m not sure exactly what her powers are, but she could be in one place, have someone attack her, have the copy of her shatter like glass and all of a sudden she’s somewhere else.

      And yeah, it seems like Neo isn’t very well explained here. Go figure.

  11. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Wait… Woods’ first name is Alison? I did NOT know that.

  12. infinity421 says:

    Okay, so this is entirely unrelated to the ‘fic, but I’m working on a Mass Effect crossover fanfiction at the moment and could use some feedback on an in-universe Codex entry that I’ve written – provided anyone has the time.

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/10OwTuKYXRu9hi-d2ReCrICAD8y3n49RaLCohPMeLxl8/edit?usp=sharing

  13. AdmiralSakai says:

    As if that was the cue suit clad thugs and the owner himself flew out of the room. The hunter shrugged off the dust he had, he slowly approach to Junior emanating malice.

    And Melanie, Miltia, Neo (who works for the same people Junior works for), and Junior’s thugs do… nothing?

    Remember, the last time somebody punched Junior (in canon)… this happened:

  14. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    So… The writer of this one isn’t a native speaker?

    Reminds me of this:
    https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8242772/1/Touhou-Shinryaku-Gensokyo-Invaders

    This guy is Indonesian, and Gary Stu protagonist aside, he has made some HILARIOUS mistakes in his story.

    Seriously, is ANYONE here familiar enough with Touhou to tear this one to shreds? I’d do it myself, but I’m very, VERY new to the fandom.

  15. agigabyte says:

    Really? This thing is just that bad, it seems.

  16. Delta XIII says:

    Goeth: Sometimes I like to explore the mundane. Sometimes I find something that’s a stepping stone for a more interesting concept.

    So, were the bottles made of drinks a stepping stone to anything, or was that just for funsies?

  17. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    Shit… Everything was going well on my XCOM playthrough, maybe a little too well… Then Ashes and Temples happened, and I lost two Warrant Officers (Colonels).

    Oh well, that’s XCOM, baby and all that. At least Annette and pals are actually useful now.

  18. SuperFeatherYoshi says:

    the hunter formed a fist on his hand then punched hin in the face knocking the owner out with ease

    “… but John Freeman made fists with hands. John Freeman punched and hit combines in front!”

  19. "Lyle" says:

    I don’t think we could fix this fic with all the punctuation in the Spare Punctuation Box. Ye gads.

  20. TacoMagic says:

    The hunter shrugged off the dust he had, he slowly approach to Junior emanating malice.

    I SHOTS MALICE BEEM FORM FACE!!!!

  21. TacoMagic says:

    Nora: He. Wasn’t. Talking. To. You. Also smirk. Glad I borrowed this from Taco. GONG!

    *Raises his glass of brandy in salute*

    Doing the work of the gods, my good man.

  22. TacoMagic says:

    but the sweet smelled soothed the hunter, slowly breaking Crow out of his drunken state.

    Yeah, being drunk doesn’t work like that. Not even close.


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