1049: Teen Fortress – Chapter Four

Title: Teen Fortress 2
Author:  MarissaTheWriter
Media: Video Game
Topic: Team Fortress
Genre: Drama / Family
URL: Chapter Four
Critiqued by Cain and Goddess

Cain: We’re back with another chapter of… this. *sigh*

Goddess: Yep. Not much else to say, so let’s jump right in.

Chapter 4: KATTY TELLS ALL

Cain: Katty is a Kola koala. She can’t tell you anything.

AN THANKS REIVEW GUYS BUT CAN BOUNCY SAID SHE DIDANT LIKE MY STORY AS GOOD AS ITS MY LIFE! AN AI THOT MAYBE THATS WHY IT DOESNT HAVE ABS MANY REVIEWS? I THANK ITS BECOS ITS MY LIFE IS A ACSHUN ADVENTURE WIF LOTS OF COOL STORY AN HOT ROMANSE BUT TEEN FORTRESS 2 IS MORE DOWN TO ERTH AN REAL PROBLEMS OF HIGH SCHOOL.

Goddess: Or maybe because it’s a piece of shit.

TEEN FORTRESS 2

Pryo putted her face back on an said “I have to class now see you latter Scot my new boyfrend.”

Cain: Good thing Pyro didn’t lose her fece face permanently.

I smied at her an felt all in love becos she was soo pretty an hot. “See you latter Tanya.” An she bushed at the say of her reel name. I got out of the crass room to go to my next class jim wen I saw Sniper runnin to wars me with Katty THE KOALA (THANKS LOGIK YUR THE BEST)!

Goddess: *smacks Marissa* Bad Author!

“Sniepr you fond Katty!” I happied an waved.

Goddess: *smacks Marissa* HAPPY IS NOT A VERB!

For a second I thot Katty was loosed forever. B ut Sniper had a sad on his feces. “Katty telled me that she saw somethin super bad Scout.” I o-mouthed that Sniper new how to talk koala. “What is news?” Sniper looked sad.

Cain: STOP O-MOUTHING!

Goddess: Anyway, Sniper tells Scot that Spy and Caroline were tryin to make an adultary cheating. Although I wouldn’t trust the claim of someone who said their Kola koala told them.

“Nice moves Scoot!”

Goddess: *snerk* Mareisafication at its finest.

Sniper hi fifed me an we ran more to find Spy and Carline. We looked in crass rooms, lunch even jim but they was no were. “OF CORSE!” I realiced “THEY MUST BE AT TEH DARMA ROOM!” We got there an saw Caroline gettin coronered by Spy with a scarred look on her feces.

Cain: Ewww. I really don’t want to think about shit with scars on it.

“Pleese Caroline forgot about Gabe Im a reel man!” Spy frenched sexay to her.

Goddess: He said all that while kissing her?

“No Spy I cant I love Gabe Jonson.” But Spy had his nife an if she didant cheat he wold stabe her! I thru some balls at Scot an they hit him but he keep goin an was about to sex Caraline up!

Cain: You didn’t seem to care about the word “rape” last chapter WHEN YOU MADE A JOKE ABOUT IT!

Sniper put Katty on a seet so she wold be safe then pulled down his mants an… HE PEED ON SPY! “Eww gross1” Spy was really mad. Wile he was distrakted I ran to behind him an grabed Spy so he coldnt sex Caroline. “My hero!” She said an kissed me cheek.

Cain: Also, sex is not a verb.

“Now lets see hoo this b***** relay is.” Sniper riped Spy’s mask of an we saw his true feces. He was covered in teh most cancerous of plimples wif greesy burns an brand that said “SLOOT” an experimental hair. It was soo gross that Caroline throwed up all on The Spy so he was more mad an meen. “WHATS GOIN ON WIF SPY TRYIN TO RAP MY DOTTER?” Princinipal GLaDOS angryed into the room. “SPY U ARE EXPELLED!” sPY falled to the ground an cry teers of likwid fat from eatin too much candy.

Goddess: Wait, under his mask were s? Eww.

MEENWHILE Cave Jonson hoo is Gabes more evil twin was walkin down the hall an see Wheatly. “Blimey you soddin look just lick Gabe buggerin Jonson but more mad an meen.” He said an wave. Cave Jonson snipped fingers an a robot came out and took Wheatly. “Oh god save the queen what the bloody wank are you doin to me?” Cave smelled evily an said “I need you for a siense project.” An he lolled very evil.

Cain: I see Marissa still doesn’t know what “wank” means.

Goddess: Wait, evil has a smell?

Cain: lol is not a verb.

TO BE CONTINUED!

OH NO WHATS CAVE GOIN TO DO WHEETLY? FIND OUT!

Goddess: Do I have to?

Cain: Yes. If I have to, so do you!

Goddess: Damn. Well, see you guys next time.

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15 Comments on “1049: Teen Fortress – Chapter Four”

  1. The Crowbar says:

    …That’s…

    …Kinky?

  2. AdmiralSakai says:

    I THANK ITS BECOS ITS MY LIFE IS A ACSHUN ADVENTURE WIF LOTS OF COOL STORY AN HOT ROMANSE BUT TEEN FORTRESS 2 IS MORE DOWN TO ERTH AN REAL PROBLEMS OF HIGH SCHOOL.

    Ok, if masked students, robots, students urinating on other students, and talking koalas are Marrissa’s idea of a “down to earth” plot dealing with “the real problems of high school”… I’d hate to see what happens when she decides to get silly.

  3. AdmiralSakai says:

    experimental hair

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go organize another expeditionary force. It seems the Spy has infiltrated another one of my research programs.

  4. agigabyte says:

    Well, see you in A week.

  5. GhostCat says:

    …ITS MY LIFE IS A ACSHUN ADVENTURE WIF LOTS OF COOL STORY AN HOT ROMANSE…

    And zombie potatoes and Robot Hell and someone explodes out of a T. rex and I think there was something to do with the Death Star.

    BUT TEEN FORTRESS 2 IS MORE DOWN TO ERTH AN REAL PROBLEMS OF HIGH SCHOOL

    High school certainly has changed quite a bit since I attended. I don’t recall anyone keeping a koala in their backpack, but there was this one girl who raised a baby squirrel in a shoebox.

    • AdmiralSakai says:

      And zombie potatoes and Robot Hell and someone explodes out of a T. rex and I think there was something to do with the Death Star.

      Oh god, really?

      • GhostCat says:

        The last chapters of ITS MY LIFE! get really weird.

      • The Crowbar says:

        Oh God, I’m getting flashbacks…

        I remember when I read a commentary of it on Fanfiction.net. I wonder why it was never taken down…

        Do the FF admins really not give a shit anymore, or is it just hard to track down stuff like this in that massive sludge of fanfics?

      • GhostCat says:

        Little from Column A and a little from Column B, I would imagine. The admins don’t check each fic, it would be impossible to do that, and only respond if there’s a lot of serious complaints.

  6. TacoMagic says:

    We looked in crass rooms, lunch even jim but they was no were.

    I’m pretty sure if I stare at this long enough, I’ll discover the meaning of the universe, become an old man, forgot who I was, and transcend.

    Or my brain will explode. One of the two.

  7. TacoMagic says:

    Goddess: Wait, evil has a smell?

    Mint with a gentle touch of lemon if Crunchy is anything to go by.


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