997: Beauty within the beast – Chapters 3 & 4

Title: Beauty within the beast
Author: Sessh-Amy
Media: Movie
Topic:  The Beauty and The Beast
Genre: Romance/Drama
URL: Chapter 3
URL: Chapter 4
Critiqued by Ghostcat 

Hello again, dear Patrons!

I’m here with yet another chunk of steaming ficly goodness to serve you. Aren’t I wonderful?

Not much happened last time, as is par for the course with these nothing-narratives. Gaston was established as a terrible hunter who failed twice to bag a deer but instead shot the (oddly complacent) Beast twice. After prematurely celebrating his kill, Gaston found himself being choked by the Beast, until the creature was overcome by his injuries and collapsed. At the urging of a teapot and clock, Gaston carried the much larger and heavier Beast to the castle.

On to the fic!

“He’ll be okay, just needs to rest is all,” said a stethoscope, walking out of the room the beast was in.


The stethoscope walked out of the room? Bullshit it did! Early stethoscopes were also called “listening tubes”, and for a very good reason. Because they looked like this;

A selection of early models

Those are from the early 20th century, a good two hundred years from when the story probably takes place. The two-pronged, flexible version most of us think of when we hear the word “stethoscope” wasn’t invented until the 1940s.

“Its amazing that you managed to bring him here, alive,”

I know, I find it unbelievable as well.

“How long is he going to remain in bed?” asked the clock.

Calm down, Cogsworth! I’m sure Dr. Listening-Tube will give you detailed instructions regarding the patient’s care.

“For about 2 1/2 weeks,” the stethoscope said as he began to exit the room, “keep a close eye on him.”

…Or not.


What is it with terrible health care professionals in fics? Did Dr. Listening-Tube have someone, like a pair of pliers from the stables, help him remove the slugs? He couldn’t have done it by himself as he has nothing resembling hands. Did he leave the bullets where they are? Did he bandage the wounds? How? Will they need to be changed? How frequently? And what’s with this “about” two and a half weeks? It takes longer for a hangnail to heal! You can’t be more precise than that? Oh, that reminds me;


No numerals!

“Thank god he’s alright,” said the teapot, walking into the beast’s room with the clock and Gaston not far behind.

But he’s not alright! Weren’t you listening? He’s bedridden for more than two weeks!

Gaston scratched his head, extremely confused.

Join the club, we’ve got jackets.

“Thank you for helping us,” she said, grinning at Gaston.

Helping you? He did all the heavy lifting – literally! Of course, he wouldn’t have needed to if he hadn’t shot the Beast in the first place.

“The pleasure is all mine…are you really a talking teapot?” Gaston asked, sitting on chair beside the beast.

Noticed that, did you?

“What?-oh yes, yes I am,” the teapot confirmed. “You’re probably very confused,”

Which would be a natural reaction to have when faced with sentient house goods.

“Yes very,” Gaston said as the teapot hopped on the bed.

Do they really have to have this talk right on Beast’s bed’s right? He’s trying to recuperate.

“Well we weren’t always like this,” the teapot explained. “You see, a few years ago, we’re-“

Do you really need to give him an exposition info-dump, Mrs. Potts? Belle never got any of the tragic back story and things worked out fine for them.

“Don’t you dare say a word to this man!” exclaimed clock as he hopped on the bed and stood next to the teapot. “For he was the one who put our master in this position!”

The timepiece has a point. You should be tossing Gaston out to the wolves.

“Weren’t you the one who asked me to help your master?” Gaston asked, his eyebrow twitching in annoyance.


They wanted you to help get him inside where he could be treated for the wounds you inflicted, not hang around afterwards and listen to his life story.

“Come now Cogsworth, he helped us save Adam,” said the teapot as she stood beside he masters face,

Yeah, after first endangering him. Why does everyone keep forgetting that?

And don’t call him Adam! He’s a prince and a servant like you should be referring to him accordingly. The servants always refer to the Beast as “Master” in the film.

“We at least owe him an explanation.” The clock cursed under his breath and faced away from Gaston.


No, you don’t! Beast was minding his own business in the forest when Gaston shot him three times. Gaston doesn’t deserve shit, except maybe a trip to the dungeons.

“Like I was saying before-” the teapot continued, “-we weren’t always like this, we use to be humans as well.”

“I see,” Gaston said, rubbing at his chin.

He’s taking this suspiciously well. Either he doesn’t believe her or doesn’t understand the concept of transformative magic and is just playing along until the crazy teapot lets him go.

“An enchantress appeared to our castle and placed a curse on everybody, even the prince,” she said furrowing her eyebrows. “This spell can only be broken if-“

She’s doing what with her eyebrows?

Huh. I didn’t think a teapot could be so expressive. Kudos, character designer Joe Grant.

“Don’t tell him another word,” the beast finally spoke, making Cogsworth, the teapot, and Gaston jump.

“Master!” Cogsworth yelled in a cheerful voice. “You’re awake,”

See?!? This is why I told you to have this discussion somewhere else!

“Why is he in my Castle?” The Beast glares at Gaston, making Shivers go down his spine.

Who is this Shivers? Is (s)he one of the servants?

“This man was kind enough to help us take you to the castle,” the teapot said in a scolding way.

“After he shot you.” Don’t leave that bit out.

“Yeah…sorry for shooting you,” Gaston said, gazing at the beast appearance.


At least someone remembers.

The beast growled at Gaston making him smile nervously.


The smug jackass who thinks the world revolves around him is just going to … smile at the Beast.

“Master, this gentlemen will be in charge of your health for the next few weeks.” Cogsworth said, smiling at his master.



“What?” Gaston asked, standing up, glaring at Cogsworth.

Answer the douchecanoe!

“Since he was the one who shot you, he will be the one to take care of you,” interrupted the Teapot.

… That’s not how it works. At all. I mean, I know that’s how it usually works in Hurt/Comfort fics, but Gaston is a complete stranger who just shot their master. Even if he did have the necessary qualifications to act as a personal health care companion, which he doesn’t, it seems foolish to let him hang around and maybe take another shot.

Gaston stared at both the objects, then sat back down. “Fine,”



Why are you agreeing to this, you idiot? You lack compassion, empathy, and any other human emotion that would make you consider this altruistic offer.

The beast slowly began to sit up, “I don’t want him near me-nng!” the beast flinched at the sharp pain his back was giving him. “Gah!”

But were they shooting pains?

“Please, lay back down master,” said the teapot with a concerned expression on her face. “You’ll hurt yourself,”

More. He’s already hurt pretty badly, so he would only be able to hurt himself more.

“I’m fine-” the beast was interrupted by a pair of strong hands, forcing him back down on his bed.

‘Tis only a scratch!

No day is complete without a Monty Python reference.

“If you don’t rest, you’ll never recover,” Gaston said, pulling on the beasts covers.

Why does he care? He’s GASTON! He kills animals indiscriminately and has the moral rectitude of slime mold. He isn’t going to suddenly turn into Nurse Nancy because Beast made him feel all fluttering inside for a microsecond.

The beast raised a hand getting ready to claw at Gaston, but the stinging pain in his back, protested.

“Nngg!” he groaned.

Why do characters in the fics I find forget that they have been grievously injured? I’ve had bad injuries before and unless you’re coasting on a comfortable layer of controlled substances, you don’t forget about them.

“All you need is rest,” Gaston said, still holding down the beast.

And narcotics, lots of really strong narcotics – which are freely available at this time. He’ll also need some bandages, boiled water, and someone to occasionally sniff the wounds to see if they are getting infected.

“Then let go of me,” the beast growled, glaring at Gaston. Gaston did what he was told, backing away from the beast.

Yeah, I can just feel the chemistry between those two. No, wait a second… There’s purple smoke coming under the door.

Just a moment, Patrons. :flips switch on console:

:powerful fans draw smoke into ducts:

I’ve told Goeth to remember to vent his experiments properly.

“Fine…I’ll be right back,” Gaston said, walking out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Dude, I don’t think he’s going to change his mind in ten minutes. Just go home.

“I still don’t get this,” Gaston said to himself as he walked through the halls.

Yeah, me neither. It’s like you’re acting totally contrary to your established character just so you can enter into a romantic relationship with another one of the author’s favorite characters.

“Then do you want me to tell you the rest of the story?”

:looks around:

Who the hell said that?

Gaston heard a voice. He began to look at his surroundings. “Who said that?”

Dude, stop that. It’s getting weird.

“In the house, I’m well known as, Lumiere,”

:flips through program:

Tonight the part of Lumiere will be played by WIlliam Shatner. There’s an unsettling image.

The chapter just cuts off there, but there is a very brief Author’s Note that follows.

Authors notes*
Oh shit :O is Lumiere the bad character in this story? possibly :)


Foreshadowing – you are doing it wrongest.

Why would the author bring up something like that? Lumiere is barely in this fic at this point! I wouldn’t think anything of his interaction with Gaston since he’s the one who starts pushing for Belle and the Beast to get together in the film so it would make sense in this situation for him to start pushing Gaston and the Beast together. But now that this Note is here, I’m assuming that Lumiere is going to be turned into some kind of villain over the course of this fic. That pisses me off; I like Lumiere.

 “Lumiere?” Gaston questioned as he looked at the talking candelabra.

Oh, come on! You have to get that!

“Follow me if you want to hear the whole story,” Lumiere said, walking to some stairs.

Normally Gaston wouldn’t care because the story doesn’t involve him in any way, but since this is the new Belle-rized version of Gaston he will likely trail after the candlestick like a good little puppy.

Gaston stared at Lumiere for about a few seconds until deciding to follow the candelabra.

Called it!

Gaston and Lumiere walked into a hall, Broken vases, horrific gargoyle, and smashed mirrors, everything was practically destroyed. Gaston couldn’t believe his eyes, why was everything destroyed?

Wow, this place is a mess. Got crap strewn all over the hallway. Not sure why, since the servants kept most of the palace in as good a state as they could manage given their new bodies, but there it is. I’d hate to imagine what the actual rooms are going to look like.

“Hey! hurry up!” said Lumiere, holding the door open for Gaston.

Oh, great. I’m not going to have to imagine.

Gaston nodded and mumbled an apology as he walked into the room.


This is just so sad. I never liked Gaston, he isn’t meant to be likeable, but this is horrible.

It was ten times worse then the halls. There were Broken chairs, ripped paintings, shattered glass, cobwebs(you name it).


No, that’s your job. You’re the author of this fic, not me.

Gaston was horrified by the appearance of the room. He approached a painting and saw a man. The man looked familiar and almost…beautiful?

Ah, we’re supposed to be in the Beast’s wing! I guess that would make sense, since that’s where his room is, but isn’t his bedroom in an equally disastrous state? There was no indication in the previous chapter that anything had been done to the place, so I assumed he had been taken to the closest available room in the Void.

“Adam was a spoiled, selfish, little brat,” Lumiere growled as he jumped on a table. “Because of him I’m stuck in this form until he fall’s in love,”

Gee, tell us how you really feel about him.

“Falls in love?” Gaston asked, his attention being taken away from the painting.

Yeah, when he puts it that way it just sounds crazy.

“You see this rose?” Lumiere asked as he pulled a blanket off of a glass container. Inside stood a single rose.

That’s an … interesting description, but let’s use a visual aid just in case anyone is having trouble picturing it.

There she is!

“When the last peddle falls I will turn back into a human,” Lumiere said with a low chuckle.

And this relates to the Beast falling in love … How? I know how it’s supposed to work in the canon, but there’s not been any concrete correlation between the two actions established in this fic.

“Huh?” Gaston asked in confusion.

An understandable reaction.

“Supposedly, the rose will know when the beast falls in love,”

Which does make sense since it is a magical item tied to the curse, but that has to happen BEFORE the last petal falls. Without that clock ticking down, Belle could have gone into town, taken her sweet time saving her father, and sauntered back to the Palace. There’s no sense of sacrifice or urgency, no dramatic tension!

Kind of like this fic.

“And when the last peddle falls you and everyone else will turn back to humans?” Gaston asked raising an eyebrow.

Again – not how it works. In the film everyone turns human again because Belle confessed her love, not because the petal fell.

“Yes,” Lumiere confirmed as he hopped of the table and faced Gaston. “I am willing to do anything to get my body back, monsieur,”


Lumiere smiled, wickedly, “so I want to make a deal.”

Yep, he’s the villain.

“…What kind of deal?”

Think about it for a minute, sweetie; it’s not that hard to connect the dots here.

“Make the beast fall in love with you,”


Make him? As in deliberately seduce the Beast just so the servants can turn human again? Sweet mercy, that’s cold-blooded.

Gaston widened his eyes in shock and disgust, “Are you crazy? Why would I make the beast fall in love with me?”

Altruism? Pity? Genuine affection for another living creature?

Lumiere hopped off of the table and walked to a bed. He crawled under the bed and pulled out a small box. Ounce opened, it showed a large oval shaped gemstone. But it wasn’t an ordinary gemstone, it was different. Half of the gem was a bloody red color and the other half was ocean blue.

“Would you do it for a rare gemstone?” Lumiere asked as he held the gemstone.

…Or do it for the sweet loot. That also seems to be an option.

A red and blue stone? That’s not all that unusual; that’s pietersite.


 Pietersite is a type of quartz similar to tiger’s eye; it’s sought after for jewelry and decorative items because of its beauty but is not exceptionally rare or valuable.

“Where did you get this?” Gaston asked, grabbing the gemstone from Lumiere.


He got it from under the bed. You watched him do it. Since this is probably the Beast’s bedroom, I’d imagine that the bauble is really the Beast’s property. Lumiere is a servant, he couldn’t afford gemstones even if any jewelry he had been wearing hadn’t been transformed along with his body.

“Lets just say I’d kill for it,” Lumiere chuckled.

Which, since subtlety isn’t this author’s strong suit, means he probably did kill someone for it. I don’t really want to think how a sentient candelabra killed someone and picked their pockets, though.

“So how about it? make the beast fall in love for this lovely gemstone?”

Gaston would be an idiot to do this; seduce a big snarly beast who would probably be extremely upset, even limb-rippingly upset, if he learned that Gaston was being paid to be his boyfriend? And Gaston only has the word of a talking candlestick – who is a thief and/or a murderer – that it is even valuable. It could be colored glass.

“Just tell me one thing, why cant you get a woman for the job,” Gaston asked, putting the gem back into its small box.

:looks around Void:

Do you see any human women around here? The transformed prince usually just waits for his One True Love to fall into his lap, which is something I’ve never liked about the traditional tale. He’s not doing anything proactive to break free of the curse but he still manages to do so, which feels a bit like a cheat.

 I suppose he could fall in love with one of the servants/household goods, but that’s not really how the traditional story goes.  Would be interesting to read a fic like that, though.

“You don’t know how many woman have tried to seduce him, but he would just ignored them…I guess he’s just not interest…so how about it?”

I know this is likely an attempt to establish that the Beast prefers men, but I find fault in this logic. When did this parade of women try to seduce him? Right after he was transformed, when he was going through his “smash all the stuff” phase when it would be stupid-dangerous to be around him? Or afterwards, when he was all brooding and melancholy? Would that have been a good time to put the moves on him?   This is a remote palace that everyone in the surrounding area seems to have forgotten about, how would these women be lured to it in the first place? Does Lumiere have a stash of gems that he’s been passing out like party favors to anyone willing to bat their eyes at the Beast?

Gaston smirks, “anything for this.”


Great, Gaston’s gay for pay. That’s a promising start to a touching love story. At least in Pretty Woman both parties knew one of them was a hooker.

That’s it for this week, Patrons. See you next time with another pair of chapters!


25 Comments on “997: Beauty within the beast – Chapters 3 & 4”

  1. The Crowbar says:

    So Gaston is willing to go gay for a not-so-rare gem?

    Good going, pal.

    *clap* *clap* *clap*

    • GhostCat says:

      Not only that, but this probably counts as bestiality.

      • The Crowbar says:


        I’ve seen worse.

      • GhostCat says:

        It’s all about context. That’s three major crimes – bestiality, homosexuality, and prostitution – in 18th century France, where jail isn’t really a place you want to be.

      • The Crowbar says:


        Well, they’re screwed.

      • Herr Wozzeck says:

        About the only exception I could think of is if you happened to be in the favor of the King. I know it’s technically the 17th Century where this went down, but I know for a fact that Lully liked to diddle dudes. Louis XIV was perfectly willing to look the other way… at least, until he met the Madame de Maintenon. That was when shit fell apart…

  2. AdmiralSakai says:

    You know, despite being a “villain”, Lumiere seems to want exactly the same things the author wants.

    The implications are… troubling, to say the least.

    • The Crowbar says:



    • GhostCat says:

      You mean how he doesn’t care a bit about Gaston’s or the Beast’s sexual preferences but just wants them to get together for his own personal reasons? Yeah, I noticed that.

      I freely admit to being a fujoshi and there are a few “what if?” pairings that I think are cute – but this is just grabbing two characters, pushing their heads together, and screaming “NOW KISS!”

  3. AdmiralSakai says:

    Also, I think that Lumiere just sabotaged his own plan pretty thoroughly, as, again, the condition to lift the curse requires that the Beast also be loved/lusted after/cared for in return. Bribing Gaston with a semiprecious semigemstone sort of undercuts that point.

  4. Colonel deFraug says:

    You know, while I do agree that the Beast would be extremely heavy, if there’s anyone from the movie who would be able to carry him, it’d be Gaston. The smirky motherfucker was capable of holding up three women on a hardwood bench with one arm. No one lifts like Gaston indeed.

    And in tangentially related video news:

  5. Herr Wozzeck says:

    “Its amazing that you managed to bring him here, alive,”

    Well, no one lifts like Gaston, you know…

    Wait, shit, Fraug already stole my observation. Goddammit…

  6. Herr Wozzeck says:

    “Yes very,” Gaston said as the teapot hopped on the bed.

    Yes, I’m very confused. You can tell how confused I am by my monotone!

  7. Herr Wozzeck says:

    “Come now Cogsworth, he helped us save Adam,” said the teapot as she stood beside he masters face,

    Was the beast even named in this version? I know he isn’t in most versions…

  8. Herr Wozzeck says:

    He’s taking this suspiciously well. Either he doesn’t believe her or doesn’t understand the concept of transformative magic and is just playing along until the crazy teapot lets him go.

    Knowing Gaston? Probably the latter.

  9. Herr Wozzeck says:

    No day is complete without a Monty Python reference.


  10. Herr Wozzeck says:

    for about a few seconds


    Indications of time: you’re doing them wrong.

  11. Herr Wozzeck says:

    There were Broken chairs, ripped paintings, shattered glass, cobwebs(you name it).

    Wait wait wait wait wait! Why the hell is Lumiere bringing Gaston into the West Wing after their first meeting? Wasn’t the fact that no one was allowed into the West Wing the one line that Lumiere did not dare challenge Cogsworth on in the movie!?


    Author. You remember the movie, right?

  12. Herr Wozzeck says:

    When the last peddle falls


    Our author needs a damn dictionary…

  13. Herr Wozzeck says:

    He’s not doing anything proactive to break free of the curse but he still manages to do so, which feels a bit like a cheat.

    Or he passes the curse on to someone else. Well, in addition to the whole “falling in love” thing. Well, that, and the person he passed the curse onto happened to be a greedy douche. And he probably died, since the curse was actually deadly that time.

    Yeah, the ending of the Cocteau version is kinda strange…

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