966: My Job On Australian Wheel Of Fortune – Chapter FivePosted: February 16, 2015
Happy President’s Day, USA Patrons! Happy Monday to everyone else! Welcome back to the next chapter of the most luke-warm fic ever written. I see everyone did their homework. Ghostie, yours get a gold star.
Anyway, last time on Majohawofe, Keirain returned to work and, due to foam football trauma, reenacted the stomach-bursting scene from Alien. Adriana was in the thick of things again, yelling at everyone, because Keirain cannot defend himself and has to rely on Mother Hens. He seems to have the responsibility level of a ten year old.
Chapter V: Siren
I’m guessing this is an allusion to Adriana since all she’s really done is baby Keirain and screech at the other hosts.
Deeks is now being charged with assault (At Adriana’s insistence)
Again, because Keirain is incapable of making his own decisions. This woman is an utter control freak. It feels insulting to her memory to have her treated thus.
“WHAT?” He demanded
“I’m a afraid you’ll have to come with us” the police stated
They get in the car
That’s about the most uneventful arrest ever. It would have been more entertaining if Deeks had resisted, but when has this fic ever shown any interest in making us actually want to keep reading it?
Kierain has fallen asleep in his dressing room
What is he doing in his dressing room? Wasn’t he bleeding all over the place not that long ago? If you have an active suture site and you burst your sutures, you can’t just slap a fucking band-aid on it and tootle back off to doing whatever it was you were doing beforehand. You need to be heading for the doctor to get that fixed.
“Honey?” Adriana cooed as she entered
“It’s time to get ready for school. Don’t forget to brush your widdle teef. I made Mickey Mouse pancakes for breakfast!”
“Sweetheart we’re on” she said shaking him
You’re shaking someone with an open and oozing suture site.
*grabs her sledgehammer*
“44!” Kierain said waking suddenly
“Oh” he said realizing where he was
While you wake up, I’m going to take a nap until something interesting happens.
“Are you sure you should be here?” Adriana asked
A voice of reason?!
“Sure I’m sure” Kierain replied
“Okay” Adriana said slightly worried
You can tell the author is in love with Zomb-Adriana. She doesn’t boss him around, coddles him, and lets him do whatever he wants while she screams at anyone who dares touch him. It’s kind of creepy.
“Now arriving at Marumbeena” the train stated
I… just… what?
Does this author actually live in Australia? Because he’s not doing a very good job of proving it at this point.
*drags out the chalkboard*
1.) It’s spelled Murrumbeena, not Marumbeena.
2.) Wheel of Fortune’s Australian version was filmed in Adelaide, a city in South Australia. I’ve actually been there. It’s quite lovely and the people are incredibly nice.
3.) Murrumbeena is in the territory of Victoria and is a whopping 458 miles (737 km) away from Adelaide. By car, it takes over 8 hours to get there.
4.) There is no train that travels directly between the two cities.
“Ah no I missed my stop but I’m on the wrong line anyway” Kierain stated
Assuming there actually is a train that runs straight from Adelaide to Murrumbeena, don’t you think you would have noticed you’re on the wrong line when the train makes it’s departure announcement. Also, the fact that your commute home is taking 8 hours might have tipped you off.
He calls his father
“Dad can you come and get me?” he asked
His father sighs
It’s an 8 hour drive. This is your idiotic mistake. Pull up your big-boy panties and deal with it like an adult.
“I CAN’T BE DOING THIS!” He screamed over the phone
Wow… that’s a bit of an over-reaction, don’t you think? Or is this something Kierain does often to the point that you’ve cracked?
“AH WELL STUFF YOU TOO THEN! Kierain retorted
“DON’T SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT!” His father snapped
Cool it with the cap-locks, Geaney. There are far more effective ways to get across to your readers that your characters are upset at each other.
“JUST RACK OFF IF YOU’RE GOING TO BE A JERK DAD NO WONDER YOU’RE A LONER!” Kierain snapped before hanging up
He calls Adriana
“Can you get me out of here?” he asked
“Sure honey” Adriana replied
An 8-hour drive is nothing. Why don’t you just move in with her and have her wipe your ass while you’re at it.
I loathe this character. He’s such a useless twatwaffle that he can’t even fend for himself. A zombie Letter-Girl has to do everything for him.
Within minutes Adriana was there to save the day
Adriana has discovered the secret of teleportation.
How in the-
– does this guy, who is supposed to live in that country have no idea where the cities are in relation to each other?!
“You just leave your father to me” she replied
Just like everything else in life, apparenlty.
These two have worked together for all of a handful of days. Why the fuck is she showing such an overbearing interest in him?
“Who are… his dad began
“Nice father” Adriana snapped sarcastically before walking off
Kierain’s dad stood stunned in the doorway
…Her solution to dealing with his dad is to assault him?
Did she learn nothing from Deeks?! She was the one that insisted that Kierain press assault charges against a man she’d worked with for over ten years, but she has no qualms whatsoever with slapping the father of a man-baby that she’s only known for a week or so?
Thankfully that’s the end of this chapter. See you all next week! We’re almost done with it!