940: My Job On Australian Wheel Of Fortune – Chapter Two

Title: My Job On Australian Wheel Of Fortune
Author: Geaney1992
Media: Television
Topic:  Wheel of Fortune
Genre: Fantasy/Friendship
URL: Chapter Two
Critiqued by Lyle

Happy Monday, my lovelies!  Did everyone have a good weekend?  Good.  Let’s open today with more baffling fanfiction about game shows.  Welcome to chapter two of “My Job On Australian Wheel Of Fortune.”

The last time we looked at this literary barf, we met Kierain, a cameraman with less personality than a dead rhinoceros.  He basically just sort of exists while the hostess, a woman that actually died before this fic was written, hovers around him like a mother hen, protecting him from the announcer and the host, who apparently like to do inappropriate things with a foam football during commercial breaks.

Chapter II West End Riot

The Sharks and the Jets are at it again, I see.  Rioting would certainly liven up Wheel of Fortune.

Kierain has broken his hand thanks to the Johns

Douchebag 1 and Douchebag 2, ladies and gentlemen.

“Oh wow!” he said sarcastically

I think “oh, ow” would be more appropriate.  This is his reaction to having his hand broken?  I don’t know how insurance or health care works in Australia, but I doubt he has coverage yet to fix his broken hand considering he has only been a couple days on the job.  A little more emotion would be warranted here.

His sisters are bothering him

Does he live at home with his parents?  Are his sisters living with him?  This is really out of place considering we were just talking about a broken hand.

“play with us!” they begged

“Disappear face aches!” he ordered

Face… aches?  That’s the best insult you can come up with?  I can understand him not wanting to play if he has a broken hand, but do you have to be such a jerk about it?  This is not helping your wet paper-towel personality.

They run away

Smart move, girls.  Keep running.

Kierain is watching “The Golden Girls”

What is with this author and his love of “The Golden Girls”?

He laughs hard

“That was SO Funny!” he stated

Zzzzzzzzzz.....

Zzzzzzzzzz…..

Kierain goes into work the next day

Has he been released for work by his doctor?

“Hello I thought you’d be resting today” Adriana smiled

“No way” Kierain said trying to defy his broken hand

I defy you, hand!

23231

However the hand gets so sore he nearly collapses

That’s what you get for working when your doctor hasn’t cleared you, yet.  Technically, your company isn’t legally allowed to let you work until you’ve been released for it.  At least, that’s how ‘murica works.  Not sure about the Aussies.

“Whoops” Adriana said catching him

Adriana must be a beefy sort of woman to support a grown man’s weight like that.

This is her, pre-zombie era.

This is her, pre-zombie era.

Uhm… it doesn’t look like she’d be able to manhandle a guy very well, unless our tepid… hero? weighs less than a wheat thin.  (I do like her dress, though.)

“Take me home” he pleaded

“sure Honey” Adriana smiled

*gag*

Later…

“THANKS TO YOUR IDIOCY WE’RE WITHOUT A CAMERAMAN FOR A WEEK” Adriana screamed at the Johns

Damn… she’s got anger issues.  Also, no.  No you’re not without a cameraman.  These shows have multiple cameramen.  Plus, since shows like this are filmed in large, multi-stage studios, you could always borrow a cameraman from another set.  I’m sure someone would like some overtime pay.

index

*SMACKAGE!*

“He shouldn’t have been sitting there” Burgo retorted

“VERY FUNNY!” Adriana snapped

“Yeah it was” Deeks replied

Injuring people is hilarious.

16_DEADPAN

Next week Kierain returns

Damnation.

However he looks really unwell

“Honey?” Adriana said looking concerned

“I’m fine just a stomach ache” he replied

*crosses fingers*  I hope he has the ebola.

Later

“We’re going for drinks want to come?” Adriana asked

“You guys go ahead my stomach still hurts” he told her

“Maybe I should run you home” Adriana suggested

“Would you?” Kierain asked

“Sure” Adriana smiled

In the car Kierain falls asleep

 

I don’t know the last time I was this bored when reading a fic.  There’s nothing going on here.

“Hmm a bit warm” Adriana said feeling his head

The next day he comes into work

“Kierain go home” Adriana ordered

“Its weird but the pain’s gone now” he stated

Yeah, it’s strange what happens when you don’t eat twelve jelly donuts before work.

“Maybe because now you have to film Adriana Hmm?” Burgo said cynically

That’s… that’s not the proper use of that word.

“Really I feel back to normal” Kierain replied

However during the show…..

“OW ADRIANA HELP I’M FALLING!” Kierain screamed

Why hasn’t this guy gotten fired yet?!  You’re the worse employee ever, screaming and hollering while a show is being filmed.

“CUT!” Adriana screamed

You can’t just call “cut” during a live filming…

She runs over to him

“Something’s really wrong with me my stomach’s never hurt this much before” he cried

“We need to get to my dressing room and have you looked at!” she stated

*THWHACK!*

I’m sorry, but no.  The proper response is to not move him and to call an ambulance.  If someone is in debilitating pain, you don’t start hefting them around like a sack of flour.  You’ll just cause more damage.

“I can’t move what’s wrong with me?” he grimaced

I’m no doctor but I think I have an answer for this one.

*rifles through the video box*

With that musical note, I’ll see you all next week.

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15 Comments on “940: My Job On Australian Wheel Of Fortune – Chapter Two”

  1. infinity421 says:

    This story is dryer than the fossilized trilobite I bought a few years ago. And less interesting, as well.

  2. AdmiralSakai says:

    Kierain has broken his hand thanks to the Johns
    However the hand gets so sore he nearly collapses
    “I’m fine just a stomach ache” he replied
    “Really I feel back to normal” Kierain replied

    However during the show…..

    “OW ADRIANA HELP I’M FALLING!” Kierain screamed

    Ok, here at the Library we’ve dealt with some pretty sick characters before…
    but this is ridiculous.

  3. The Crowbar says:

    “That was SO Funny!” he stated

    *The Crowbar wakes from his daydreaming*

    -Huh, wha? Did I miss a joke or something?

  4. fledglinghuman says:

    I think I just read an article about the exact process paint goes through as it dries.

    Oh, no. This is supposed to be a fic. About a show I like.

    Huh.

    • The Crowbar says:

      Now I know how Pinkie Pie felt when she was forced to watch paint dry.

      Well, for her it was either that or vaporisation. For me, it was only a choice between this and Lyle’s cattle prod.

      …Now that I think about it, vaporising a dozen Pinkies is actually quite violent for those ponies…

  5. Herr Wozzeck says:

    “Oh wow!” he said sarcastically

    *headdesk*

    Okay, was this written by a geth platform or something? What is this!?

  6. Herr Wozzeck says:

    “That was SO Funny!” he stated

    *headdesk*

    Fuck me, this isn’t a fictional work: it’s literally a daybook!

    *headdesk*

  7. Herr Wozzeck says:

    Uhm… it doesn’t look like she’d be able to manhandle a guy very well, unless our tepid… hero? weighs less than a wheat thin.

    Knowing this fic, he probably does…

  8. Herr Wozzeck says:

    “Yeah it was” Deeks replied

    *headdesk*

    You know your fic is terrible when you’re expressing your boredom with fucking Annoying Orange clips.

  9. Herr Wozzeck says:

    That’s… that’s not the proper use of that word.

    Hey, just be thankful it’s not another goddamn Ulrich-Stu rant.

  10. GhostCat says:

    :image of Kaname preparing to thwack Sousuke:
    *SMACKAGE*

    :sigh:

    No one gives good smackage like Kaname.


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