940: My Job On Australian Wheel Of Fortune – Chapter TwoPosted: January 19, 2015
Happy Monday, my lovelies! Did everyone have a good weekend? Good. Let’s open today with more baffling fanfiction about game shows. Welcome to chapter two of “My Job On Australian Wheel Of Fortune.”
The last time we looked at this literary barf, we met Kierain, a cameraman with less personality than a dead rhinoceros. He basically just sort of exists while the hostess, a woman that actually died before this fic was written, hovers around him like a mother hen, protecting him from the announcer and the host, who apparently like to do inappropriate things with a foam football during commercial breaks.
Chapter II West End Riot
The Sharks and the Jets are at it again, I see. Rioting would certainly liven up Wheel of Fortune.
Kierain has broken his hand thanks to the Johns
Douchebag 1 and Douchebag 2, ladies and gentlemen.
“Oh wow!” he said sarcastically
I think “oh, ow” would be more appropriate. This is his reaction to having his hand broken? I don’t know how insurance or health care works in Australia, but I doubt he has coverage yet to fix his broken hand considering he has only been a couple days on the job. A little more emotion would be warranted here.
His sisters are bothering him
Does he live at home with his parents? Are his sisters living with him? This is really out of place considering we were just talking about a broken hand.
“play with us!” they begged
“Disappear face aches!” he ordered
Face… aches? That’s the best insult you can come up with? I can understand him not wanting to play if he has a broken hand, but do you have to be such a jerk about it? This is not helping your wet paper-towel personality.
They run away
Smart move, girls. Keep running.
Kierain is watching “The Golden Girls”
What is with this author and his love of “The Golden Girls”?
He laughs hard
“That was SO Funny!” he stated
Kierain goes into work the next day
Has he been released for work by his doctor?
“Hello I thought you’d be resting today” Adriana smiled
“No way” Kierain said trying to defy his broken hand
I defy you, hand!
However the hand gets so sore he nearly collapses
That’s what you get for working when your doctor hasn’t cleared you, yet. Technically, your company isn’t legally allowed to let you work until you’ve been released for it. At least, that’s how ‘murica works. Not sure about the Aussies.
“Whoops” Adriana said catching him
Adriana must be a beefy sort of woman to support a grown man’s weight like that.
Uhm… it doesn’t look like she’d be able to manhandle a guy very well, unless our tepid… hero? weighs less than a wheat thin. (I do like her dress, though.)
“Take me home” he pleaded
“sure Honey” Adriana smiled
“THANKS TO YOUR IDIOCY WE’RE WITHOUT A CAMERAMAN FOR A WEEK” Adriana screamed at the Johns
Damn… she’s got anger issues. Also, no. No you’re not without a cameraman. These shows have multiple cameramen. Plus, since shows like this are filmed in large, multi-stage studios, you could always borrow a cameraman from another set. I’m sure someone would like some overtime pay.
“He shouldn’t have been sitting there” Burgo retorted
“VERY FUNNY!” Adriana snapped
“Yeah it was” Deeks replied
Injuring people is hilarious.
Next week Kierain returns
However he looks really unwell
“Honey?” Adriana said looking concerned
“I’m fine just a stomach ache” he replied
*crosses fingers* I hope he has the ebola.
“We’re going for drinks want to come?” Adriana asked
“You guys go ahead my stomach still hurts” he told her
“Maybe I should run you home” Adriana suggested
“Would you?” Kierain asked
“Sure” Adriana smiled
In the car Kierain falls asleep
I don’t know the last time I was this bored when reading a fic. There’s nothing going on here.
“Hmm a bit warm” Adriana said feeling his head
The next day he comes into work
“Kierain go home” Adriana ordered
“Its weird but the pain’s gone now” he stated
Yeah, it’s strange what happens when you don’t eat twelve jelly donuts before work.
“Maybe because now you have to film Adriana Hmm?” Burgo said cynically
That’s… that’s not the proper use of that word.
“Really I feel back to normal” Kierain replied
However during the show…..
“OW ADRIANA HELP I’M FALLING!” Kierain screamed
Why hasn’t this guy gotten fired yet?! You’re the worse employee ever, screaming and hollering while a show is being filmed.
“CUT!” Adriana screamed
You can’t just call “cut” during a live filming…
She runs over to him
“Something’s really wrong with me my stomach’s never hurt this much before” he cried
“We need to get to my dressing room and have you looked at!” she stated
I’m sorry, but no. The proper response is to not move him and to call an ambulance. If someone is in debilitating pain, you don’t start hefting them around like a sack of flour. You’ll just cause more damage.
“I can’t move what’s wrong with me?” he grimaced
I’m no doctor but I think I have an answer for this one.
*rifles through the video box*
With that musical note, I’ll see you all next week.