936: Jasmine cumslut – Chapter ThreePosted: January 15, 2015
Title: Jasmine cumslut
Media: Movies/Video Game/TV Show
Topic: Aladdin/Mass Effect/Street Fighter/Star Wars/Kim Possible/My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
URL: Jasmine cumslut: Chapter 3
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck, Crunchy, and Sura T’Lenya
WARNING: This fic contains extremely graphic references to sexual acts that may be considered deviant by some people: thus, this snarking is NSFW. The entire plot of the fic is also about human trafficking: because of the way the subject is treated in this fic, those who are sensitive to the subject may wish to (and probably should) skip this riff entirely.
Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back for more Jasmine cumslut. I’m your host Herr Wozzeck, and this time I’m still joined by Crunchy and Sura.
S: How much longer is this thing going to go? I’ve sat through several weeks of this shit, and I’ve got nothing to show for it except the urge to arrest several motherfuckers.
Thankfully, Sura, this is presently the last updated chatper of this thing. And of course, that means that this will be our last installment… for now.
C: This monkey plans on continuing it?
Maybe. We’ll see, and honestly, I’m kind of hoping he does. Considering what he said, there is a lot of room to perform a particular… thought experiment.
S: Uh-oh… Herr, what are you planning?
Oh, you’ll see if he uploads it. Let’s get going, shall we?
C: I am positively nauseous with anticipation.
We start our current last chapter with this:
Jasmine rested in her cell. For the past few weeks she had been given a drug that trapped her mind while her body danced for men and women. But she found that the drug they gave her was less and less powerful each time they gave it to her. The fact was she liked dancing like that and in that costume.
S: No, honey, you don’t like dancing like that. They’ve just conditioned you to like it.
C: I know the difference is difficult to see, Jasmine, which is why you should step into the chamber.
What’s in the chamber?
C: Um… Brain Bleach?
S: You’re shitting me. That’s your solution?
C: Well, it can undo the damage by completely emptying her mind, can it not?
S: Hm, I suppose that’s true, but what do you plan on filling it with once it’s empty?
C: I am leaving that to you, blue something. I do not plan that far.
Yeah, that’s what I thought. Good thing, too: we wouldn’t want her to be an Awesome McEvil, too.
Anyway, on with the story!
Chun li also encouraged Jasmine to lick her pussy, Chun li also had a realistic dick strap on that was filled with Futanari cow sperm.
Futanari cow sperm? What the fuck is that!?
C: I do not want to know, monkey.
You know what? Neither do I.
S: Should I bring the Serrice Ice Brandy so we can forget that exists?
Jasmine had also stopped dancing and was put in a cubical and forced to suck dicks that came through the hole. At first she didn’t do it until she was whipped by Chun li but now she did it with out hesitation.
Put in a “cubical”? How the hell was she put inside an adjective?
S: And wait, there was a hole in there… It’s a gloryhole, isn’t it?
Yep, it’s a gloryhole all right. And because of the fact that I find gloryholes to be a thrilling kink, I can tell you that EP is completely misrepresenting that kink! People are attracted to gloryholes because of the anonymity it carries. It’s the thrill of servicing anyone that provides the fetish fuel for that! It completely misses the point of that kink to force one of the occupants into the cubicle, especially when said person is a fucking slave!
C: And I now know far more than I ever wanted to know about gloryholes.
S: I don’t know if I know enough about them from that. Should I maybe go to one and take pictures?
Really? I’m only talking about why people are attracted to it, and why EP has just ruined it for all of us!
S: So you’re saying he’s just throwing random kinks out at the viewer and hoping they’ll be turned on when he mentions it.
Yep. But wait, it gets better!
As she laid in her cell she couldn’t help but be disgusted with herself at her lack of will. But what could she do? Her Mistress was constantly watching and Chun li was so relaxed as a slave not to mention that all the slaves she met where nice. Her hand drifted up to her collar and wondered how long until she would be broken.
See? Jasmine is still thinking about “oh God, I don’t want to do this, but I am doing it anyway because I’m afraid of these guys”.
C: Hm… I suddenly do not think the brain bleach is strong enough to help.
S: Oh, you don’t say? Do you suppose I should get the Mensa committee to tell you why?
C: Be quiet, blue something.
Just then Chun li entered with a tray with a few things that Jasmine couldn’t see too well.
She instantly got up and fell to her knees making Chun li smile.
Aaaand, she just broke her knees. Good job, Chun Li. Good job.
“Well done Jas. Now the mistress has ordered for you to have true slave gear, and since I’m your trainer she ordered me to place them on you.” Chun li said making Jasmine shiver.
True slave gear?
C: All which we just witnessed was just a preview?
S: Oh, I am so excited for this. Should I bring my father’s classic pot roast recipe for all of us to snack on?
I thought your father was a quarian.
“Strip but leave your boots on.”
C: Shall I get the bolt-tape to restrain Ghostie?
Yeah, that might not be a bad idea. Kanai! Sound the warning bells for the costume porn!
S: Wait, what? When did you have those installed?
Recently, Sura. Cover your ears, they may be rather—
*BOOOOONG* *BOOOOONG* *BOOOOONG*
S: You don’t say.
Jasmine stood and removed her harness first which fell to the floor she then removed her collar. But her hands didn’t listen to her and found it a little hard to take off. She then removed her elbow gloves one at a time. Once they where off she knelt fully naked, she had long gotten over being naked in front of men and women.
Okay, I guess we’ll get costume porn, after the pointlessly lengthy description of Jasmine taking her clothes off. Seriously, did you need to take that long to say “she took her clothes off”?
C: You already know why, do you not?
Chun li then placed the tray on the bed and picked up a leather collar with a metal band around it and a ring at the front.
Chun li attached it around Jasmines neck. It fasted with with an audible click.
“This collar is a permanent collar Jas, it can never be taken off unless the mistress says so.”
S: Who wants to bet it’s got an even worse version of that mind-control shocker thing that she already had?
Sorry, Sura, you might as well not even have a betting pool. I think we all know which side to bet on.
Jasmine touched the collar with a new sense of belonging. Chun li then got down on one knee and undid Jasmine’s nipple rings, belly piercing and cilt piercing. She then picked up a linked chain and fitted to end rings through Jas’ nipples, the centre ring was fitted into Jas’ naval and the final ring went into her clit. Chun li then took Jasmine’s arm and placed a metal cuff around her bicep, she then placed a cuff with a ring on her wrist. Chun li repeated the same with Jasmines other arm.
So EP’s idea of a sex slave is someone who looks like she got ripped right out of Mad Max, except that there isn’t even any leather covering the naughty bits.
C: I think I would have preferred a Victor Tarsus fic to… whatever this is. At least when Victor Tarsus’ characters were unable keep it in their pants, they refrained from throwing every deviant fetish into the mix.
You know, Crunchy? I think I would’ve too, now that I see… that. I mean, seriously, I didn’t think you could do costume porn with something that essentially covers nothing, but there you go.
She then took a a length on chain and clipped it onto Jasmines wrist cuffs.
Jasmine did so almost immediately. She didn’t want to get shocked so she obeyed almost every command.
You know what? I already have so many quotes it’s not even worth collecting them worth a damn, you know?
C: “Almost every command”? So she disobeyed every fifth command and was able to act on her own volition? So why did she not escape on the odd command she was able to disobey on?
S: Crunchy, they weaned her off the semen gem. Why do you think?
Chun li took another cuff off the tray and fasted it around Jasmines ankle and reappeared it with the other cuff. She then took another piece of chain and attached the cuffs together. Finally she attached a chain leash onto Jasmines collar.
Oh my god, the costume porn wasn’t finished yet!?
S: It rambled on like an angry volus.
Jeez, not even Animagus Predator went on this long about its costume porn, and this outfit doesn’t even have enough articles of clothing in it to be called an outfit!
C: I should also point out how bland the description was. So not only was there quite a lot of time concentrated, but we do not even know exactly what everything looked like even then. It is quite an achievement to be both overwritten and underwritten at the same time.
I know, right? Talk about achievements in epic fail!
“Come, time to lose your innocence.” Chun li then said leading the former princess away.
Oh dear… I have the horrible feeling the censor bar may show up at soem point.
Chun li and Jasmine entered a large circular room. Around the walls of the room where beds and stocks. But few of the beds where occupied as few slaves where virgins.
So basically, the virgins did this:
S: Hm. Do you think they will require surgery?
Don’t bother, they’re already gone by then, you know?
Chun li lead Jasmine to the nearest bed and instructed her to lay on it. Jasmine laid on the soft silk bed while Chun li spread Jasmines legs out. She then attached a chain to the cuffs that held her legs in a spread, Chun li then took her hands and attached then to the frame above Jasmines head.
So they chained her to a bed…
C: This will be censored, right?
I hope so. I know I forgot to do that last chapter and all, so…
After being fully chained to the bed Chun li then picked up a mask that looked like the ones the leather clad slaves wore.
Oh no… It’s not…
S: Oh shit, I think it is…
Smiling Chun li attached the mask onto Jasmines mouth before turning it on. Suddenly the to Jasmine started to cut of, she struggled in her chains yelling into the mask.
“the to Jasmine started to cut of”… So there was a word, and Jasmine was in front of it, and she was cutting it off, and it caused her enough pain to yell into her mask.
C: When, pray tell, did this fic turn into Saw?
But as she did she got some air. Thinking there needed to be and air hole blockage she used her tongue to look for it. As she did this the mask started to excrete something. It tasted sweet like a man’s sperm but there was something in it making her dizzy. Time moved fast as she kept on licking the mask.
S: Oh Goddess, it is the pussy mask!
Goddammit, next you’ll tell me that she’ll be forced to… service some random man who shows up explicitly to deflower Jasmine.
Soon the mask was removed and a large muscular man in merc armour came into sight. He leaned over and kissed her.
C: Monkey, please do not take this the wrong way, but you need to stop being right about this.
Oh, believe me Crunchy, I know. I hate being genre savvy sometimes…
S: If she submits willingly due to some thing about “sexual need”, I’m going to start making a list of who I need to assassinate.
And wait… “merc”? As in… Blue Suns merc?
S: Probably. What other mercs do you know that have members of the musculature that would probably be involved with this?
Blood Pack immediately comes to mind.
S: Really? Fucking krogan?
Yes, krogan! They’re muscular, they’re hot, what more do you want?
S: For them to not break my hips while doing the deed?
Fine. You win.
Jas submitted to the kiss out of pure sexual need. The merc soon lay gently on her running his hands over her belly, hips and tits. The merc then sat up allowing Jasmine to look at his 8inc dick. She knew at that moment, she was about to lose her virginity. But no to her husband but to a stranger, a killer, a merc. But she lost all sense of morality, she didn’t care any more.
“Master please, give this slave your sperm.” she said.
Aaaaaand, of course she submits. Watch, she’s gonna enjoy it, too.
The merc smiled and positioned himself to her lower entrance. She braced herself as as his dick started to enter her. She moaned as it entered her there was a slight pain from the dick that was entering her but it there was more pleasure then pain. Opening her mouth in pleasure the merc kissed her as his dick fully entered her. Her mind buzzed with excitement as the dick started to move in and out of her making her squirm in pleasure.
Nearby Chun li watched as her hand was inside her pussy remembering how she lost her virginity, as a slave for nothing but pleasure and breeding. Suddenly she was forced to her knees. She turned to see a strong dark skinned Amazonian woman. The Amazon also had a large dick looking directly at Chun li. The Chinese slave smiled and took the dick in her mouth. The Amazon then began throat fucking her, Chun li’s eyes rolled back I her head as the dick invaded her throat.
Jasmine was cumming over and over again the merc continued to fuck her. She lost all sense of time, her pussy was getting pounded by such a big dick soon she felt it twich.
“AHH YOUR DICK IS TWICHING, AHHH I’M GOING TO DIE OF PLEASURE AHHHH.” she screamed.
The merc smiled as his limit was near. Jasmine screamed in pleasure one again making the merc come in and kiss her. That sent them both over the edge and the merc came inside Jasmine who screamed in ecstasy.
C: Herr, you failed to—
*BAM* *BAM* *BAM*
I know I didn’t fucking censor it, Crunchy! Petty fucking details at this point!
S: Whoah there, Herr, calm down.
No, I won’t fucking calm down! I’m sorry Sura, but after seeing this bullshit? I just fucking can’t stay calm. I just… what the shit is this!?
*tears off gloves*
Okay, you guys, do you remember what I said last week about Aditya Anggun being well-adjusted despite his background? Well, I think it’s time we talked a bit more about that, and about the psychology of sexual slavery in general.
So I mentioned that Adi was pretty well-adjusted for having spent some of his childhood in a… well, a furry trafficking ring, let’s call it. I say that, because even though he’s somewhat well-adjusted, he still has a few psychological issues he needs to work out. He has daddy issues (all of his father figures met violent ends throughout his past), and his profile on the FBA website has mentioned that he has a particularly… unpleasant reaction to sexual harassment. It also says quite a bit that it’s established in the Adi stories that some of his legal documents actually hide certain details of his past, and that only a few people really know what happened.
In fact, when you hear him talk about what happened to him, you can tell that it is somewhat difficult for him to open up about this stuff—even to a fellow draft candidate who was the victim of horrific child abuse and thus has at least some idea of what Adi is feeling! Just… Look at all the ellipses there! Even though their trauma had some parallels, he still finds it tough to talk about!
And do you guys know why that is? Because when you are a slave in a human trafficking ring, most of the abuse you go through is psychological. They use fear to keep you trapped in that situation. They don’t want you to run off, so they intimidate you into that situation. They break down your barriers, and they make sure you fear the consequences of an escape attempt. You hear about all kinds of psychological intimidation in these kinds of stories.
Now, granted, Adi has the additional side problem of being thrust into this terrifying world as a child, which would throw a whole other set of wrenches into the whole shebang for reasons that Fraug would probably be more than happy to get into. But the end result is still the same, and even for adult victims the fear is there. In fact, here, have some victims talking about that. And go ahead and pay careful attention to what they say when they talk about how they were kept in place:
You see? These victims are kept in by fear of something happening to them. In nearly all cases, fear is used as a psychological tool to subjugate these women into sexual service. It’s the same thing that happened to Adi to a certain extent, and it’s the same thing that happens to real human trafficking victims.
And you know what the really disturbing part is? It’s what happens to Jasmine in this fic, too! Seriously, you remember all those quotes I stored?
Well, I’m going to present them again, and I want you to see if you notice any trends:
Jasmine wanted to be free but this woman sounded that she liked it here. No one could accept their own slavery. Jasmine didn’t want to be a slave but it seemed that fate had other ideas.
Jasmine just stared at the devices in fear. Soon she stood next to the chair and Chun li removed Jasmines clothing and cuffs excluding her collar. Jasmine was so scared to do anything else.
Chun li fastened the cuffs around the wrists while the Asari fastened the cuffs around her ankles. The former princess felt so vulnerable,
She felt so defiled that she wanted to die but as soon as dying came to mind an electric shock shot through her. It was painful even though it lasted for a moment.
Jasmine just admired the sight, her pussy started to become wet she mentally cursed herself and was immediately electrocuted.
That last bit scared her, her memories slowly being erased. She didn’t what that to happen but what could she do.
Jasmine had also stopped dancing and was put in a cubical and forced to suck dicks that came through the hole. At first she didn’t do it until she was whipped by Chun li but now she did it with out hesitation.
Now, I want you to read those quotes again.
You see the problem here? Jasmine’s reaction to what is happening to her is actually true to what real human trafficking survivors experience! Yeah, imagine that: EclipsePheniox actually got something right about the experience of what it’s like to be a human trafficking victim! He actually managed to perfectly portray the kind of fear-based conditioning that human trafficking would require! Sure, it was stupid at several points, but the general conditioning they put Jasmine through? Yeah, somehow, it turned out to be completely 100% accurate.
Which would be fine, if it turned into something similar to the Adi stories where it’s about rising above what was done to you as a child. It would also be fine if you turned this into a psychological horror tale about what it’s like to be trapped in such a situation! All of that would be fine, if it was intentionally trying to portray the horrors of sexual slavery.
The problem is, it’s being written by EclipsePheniox, who isn’t smart enough (or mature enough) to do something like that. No, you know what the biggest sin of Jasmine cumslut is? It’s being written as fap material.
Yeah. Read the above sex scene with Jasmine, and try to forget the overly clinical prose. It’s clear that EP finds this shit sexually arousing from the way he writes it. And indeed, it’s evident in how, even when he’s portraying Jasmine’s fear accurately, he glosses right over it in favor of presenting us whatever other twisted parts of his sexual fantasies he wants to throw at us next! And you know how else I know this? Jasmine cumslut is not the first time EP has written sexual slavery as a kind of kink! And it certainly isn’t the last time he would do it, either! He’s writing this shit as fap material, even while he realistically portrays Jasmine’s fear, and the kind of psychological conditioning it would take for someone to want to do something like that! Combine that with the fact that Chun Li probably went through the same thing, as did all the other slaves that were mentioned throughout the story…
…and he wants us to fap to that shit.
EclipsePheniox, how fucking dare you. You want to know something? People like you are part of the reason why human trafficking is such a big problem. You know how I know this? Because you are writing a fucked up sexual fantasy where you have all these human slaves! You are therefore feeding a demand for this stuff.
And you know what? Some victims actually say to go after the ones that feed the demand for human trafficking. And why? Well… I’ll let this human trafficking victim explain:
That’s right, EP, people like you who create a romanticized depiction of this life are part of the problem. You fantasize about putting women in this kind of situation, don’t you? You wouldn’t have written fics like Kira’s story of domination or Sex Slave pt. 1 or even Jasmine cumslut if you didn’t find these fetishes hot, would you? And you’re putting it out to the public that you want to do this in the way you have in this fic!
And because of the fact that you’re glorifying this suffering while at the same time accurately depicting Jasmine’s conditioning as being psychologically scarring, you are feeding the fire that makes it seem like something so horrible is actually acceptable, and you are trivializing the struggles of human trafficking survivors everywhere because of it! And trust me, you’re doing it, because as of right now, your fic has eleven reviews, half of which are positive reviews!
So that’s one count of fuck you for fetishising the struggles of Jasmine into sexual fap material.
Oh, but wait, it gets BETTER! You want to know why?
Well, you guys remember the chapter of From another world where Stupard fought that Kalka person who was supposed to be an Awesome McEvil yet was not portrayed to be any worse than Stupard, right? Well, you remember the rant Ert got into at that point about how the bad guys were treated and how it was hypocritical of him considering how sexist he is, right?
Well, if you don’t, let me remind you what he said at one point in that rant:
EP, you do not have the fucking emotional maturity to be writing about this shit. Once again you made the bad guys rape-happy assholes, despite the fact that you seem terrified to do anything more with the concept other than “They rape, rape bad” and making woman “They get raped, that bad” so that a big strong man has to save them.
After reading this fic? I’m sorry Ert; I love you, you’re an awesome friend, you’re really intelligent, but you were right about EP being a hypocrite for entirely the wrong reasons.
No, EP isn’t a hypocrite because he had the bad Tiberian guys in From another world be rape-happy assholes for the sake of having the victims be rescued by big strong men, despite the fact that his writing is incredibly sexist. Trust me, his writing is incredibly sexist, but it’s not what makes him a disgusting hypocrite. No, EP is a hypocrite because he had those bad guys be rape-happy assholes for the sake of having the women be rescued by big strong men, despite the fact that he writes fics like Jasmine cumslut where he fetishizes a very similar kind of forced sexual activity!
But oh, you might say. “Hey, Herr, what about the fact that rape isn’t the same thing as sexual slavery?” Fair enough, I’ll concede your point there, they are different. That’s a valid point… or it would be, if his hypocrisy didn’t extend to other stuff. Like his other story, Kira’s story of domination!
Yeah, he wrote another story with sexual slavery as a fetish! Or did he?
Udina’s face paled in fear. He knew of the Capitan Shepard, every one knew her due to the fact she mostly recruited people from Amazonia and that she constantly hunts down slavers
What else does he write about the subject elsewhere in the fic?
“Well Miss Lawson that was a good fuck, but I have a deal for you.” Kira said making Miranda stop moving and looked at her.
“If you don’t want this to get out or the fact that you wore a vibrator on our last mission, you have do do what I say agreed?”
Miranda nodded in response, this would affect her reputation if it go out so doing what Kira says is the best idea.
“Good, from now on you are my personal slave,”
or maybe not.
“When I call I expect you to come. It could be for anything but if you don’t come I cannot say when the video’s will be released but they will. When you come to my room and there is no one else there you must strip immediately, but if there are people there you may wait until they leave to strip. Whenever someone comes in and you are naked go into my shower and keep quite until they are gone. Now when I want sex you cannot refuse is that understood?”
Miranda was regretting her decision but what else could she do? She nodded in response.
You see? YOU FUCKING SEE!? He doesn’t just try to have it both ways across his entire body of work, he tries to do it within ONE SINGLE FANFIC!
Yes. Ladies and gentlemen, EclipsePheniox is a fucking hypocrite, because he faps to the same bullshit that he tries to use for cheap villain designation, sometimes in the same fucking breath!
EclipsePheniox, you are officially worse than Raifa. Yes, you are officially worse than the guy who wrote Gabriel Hawke! You know why? For as fucked up as Gabriel Hawke was, Raifa at least had the courtesy not to try to have it both ways. At least he didn’t try to pretend that he was doing anything other than glorifying the actions of a morally despicable hero. Oh, he was still a jerk and he didn’t seem to realize the severity of what he was writing, but he at least was consistent! You can’t even say that about yourself, EclipsePheniox! You romanticized sexual slavery, you have done it multiple times, and you then passed it off as being a bad thing in something else, despite the fact that you trivialized the struggles of the victims of human trafficking into pornographic material while accurately portraying what someone in that situation would actually feel in the same breath!
You, EclipsePheniox, are the lowest form of scum. You are filth. You are an ignorant, sexist, homophobic, lazy, hypocritical, excuse-mongering, mentally ill, immature little imbecile who should be BANNED from ever entering the internet again! You are the lowest of the low. You are so much of a scumbag that you aren’t even at the bottom of the barrel: in fact, your name is so low you shouldn’t even be referenced in relation to barrels, that’s how low you are.
You are a scumbag, and because of that fact that I can say without hesitation that you, EclipsePheniox, are the worst author I have ever had the displeasure of dealing with.
Fuck you, EclipsePheniox. Fuck you, and fuck every single one of your pathetic series of word groupings that not even fucking Mother Teresa herself would be charitable enough to call “fiction”.
*yanks the gloves back on*
S: Damn. Remind me not to get on your bad side.
I created you, Sura, I don’t think you have a single goddamn thing to worry about.
C: Good! Let the hate flow thro—
Shut up, Crunchy, I’m not in the mood.
C: I can force choke you for that.
And I can have Sura shoot you to get me out of the force choke, your point?
S: I’ll do it, too.
C: *sigh* Damn monkey.
Yep. Damn monkey indeed.
Okay, just one more scene to go. What happens?
The mistress looked over a holo pad as a latex bound ginger haired teen was licking her. She smiled.
“So Jasmine is settling well to her new life, what do you think of that Kimmy?” she asked the ginger.
Kimmy? With red hair?
C: Oh dear, is this another property that–?
Oh, fucking God, really!?
You involved fucking Kim Possible in this shit, too?
EclipsePheniox, be honest with us; you don’t really like strong women for the qualities that contribute to their strength, do you? You just want to fuck them into submission. You know how I know that? If you thought any other way, you wouldn’t fucking objectify any of those women. These female characters all have had real development, and they were all real characters in the contexts of their original shows. And what you’ve done here is to strip out every single facet of their characters; now, they are little more than blank slates to be jacked off to. And yes, I get that this is fap material and that fap material objectifies everyone to some degree, but frankly, the fact that this tendency of yours shows up in your non-pornographic writing leaves little room for interpretation.
You, EclipsePheniox, are a sexist pig. You are disgusting, and quite frankly, any woman who is truly strong and independent would sooner follow Anna Hutchison’s example as relates to a wolf head before the thought of getting into bed with a man with your sick, backwards attitude towards women ever crossed their minds. But then again, I guess a part of you knows that you’d never sexually satisfy them.
C: And now you have turned to insulting EclipsePheniox’s libido?
Do you disagree with me?
C: Absolutely not, but that does not make your use of such a plebian tactic any better. Very poor form for a Librarian.
Well, Crunchy, I’m increasingly convinced that, at least to a certain point, EP’s objectification of women has a lot, if not everything, to do with sexual frustration. Fraug, please correct me if I’m wrong about that, but to this man untrained in anything psychological, I feel like sexual frustration is a big part of this whole thing.
S: You have to admit, he brings up a compelling point.
C: Whatever you say, blue something.
“Nigh.” the teen said before continued to lick the mistress pussy.
S: The end is certainly nigh for these assholes, that’s for sure.
C: Do you think I could supply Darkwraiths for the raid?
S: You know? I don’t even care if my boss says no. Go ahead and help.
C: Good. I am all for joining a faction of Awesome McEvils, but even these people are horrible.
“Yes now she’s lost her innocence it’s time for her to be trained as a true cumslut.”
S: I don’t think I want to know what being a “true” cumslut would involve.
Neither do I, Sura. Neither do I.
“And it seems that both Jasmine and Chun li are pregnant, this is good. More slaves means more money. Ya know I’m glad we attacked her nation. She is doing so much better as a slave then a queen.”
And you will be doing so much better the day someone goes and does this to you:
C: Good! Let the hate flow—
S: I have a pistol.
C: … Yes you do.
“Don’t worry little one, your time will come soon enough. My little pony.”
My little pony…? Oh no.
S: Oh, wonderful. Should I also prepare the Teletubbies for the horrible treatment?
I doubt you’ll have to, because that is all with the story so far. Thank God!
Now we just have to deal with one last author’s note.
C: Oh dear, this monkey wrote more author’s notes?
Just the one, but it’s about as disingenuous as you would expect an EP author’s note to be.
Hi guys sorry I haven updated the story recently because I’ve been working on other projects and this one had to be shoved to the side which I apologise about. Aside from that my cat was put down when I was working of the next chapter then college came round. So yeah sorry.
Oh lovely, there he goes giving out the excuse of “I have a real life”. ‘Cause I totally don’t have any work towards my DMA that I could be doing instead of sitting here mocking bad fanfiction.
S: And I could totally be sitting in my office doing paperwork.
C: I thought you hated paperwork, blue something.
S: Anything would be better than this, Crunchy. I don’t know how you guys do it every week.
C: Our slight insanity helps.
S: I bet it does.
Anyway I’d like to address a review a Guest.
Oh hey, he’s addressing the only negative review he ever got.
C: Why is he doing it here?
Well, the review was an anonymous review submitted by a DeviantArt user.
So you see? There you go.
BRONIES SERIOUSLY?! HAHAHAHA fool they are peaceful if they come round and preach to me you can expect they won’t go home in one piece. Besides I’m just doing this because why not? Because I can and because I feel like it.
Oh, EclipsePheniox, you stupid son of a bitch. You’re just…
You know what? Fuck it. Go ahead, EP. Go ahead and write MLP into your morally depraved story. Go ahead and incorporate FiM into it.
C: Monkey, have you lost your mind?
Oh, I haven’t lost my mind, Crunchy. See, I’m not telling him to do it because it’s a good idea, oh no.
See, EP, I’m telling you to do it so karma can possibly give you the kick in the ass that you desperately need. The brony fandom is huge, and guess what? They have a very interesting response to when a morally depraved fic shows up on its doorstep. Because here’s what you forget: the brony fandom is the same fandom that made fics like Cupcakes and Sweet Apple Massacre and Rainbow Factory and The Conversion Bureau the stuff of fanfiction legend. You also forget that it’s the fandom that had to endure fucking Dakari King Mykan. The brony community preaches “love and tolerance”, but they rarely practice it when it comes to fanfiction, especially when it’s morally depraved fanfiction that doesn’t even have the decency to be written well. Upon seeing something like this, the bronies will swarm this fic like a plague of locusts, and they will be relentless. And when they’re done with that, they will elevate it to memetic status, and you will not be able to stop the hate your fic will receive then. Bronies take their fanfiction seriously, and apart from the odd cloppers who would be twisted enough to find this arousing, you will be eviscerated by the bronies.
So go ahead, EP. Add MLP to your shitty-ass story where you’ve glorified sexual slavery. Bring down the anger of the bronies.
Go on. Do it. Make my day, punk.
C: Yes, let the hate flow through you! Channel it into—!
S: Right away, sir.
C: Did you not think I would not bring my lightsaber?
I knew you would, but I thought you’d like a reminder.
C: … I shall keep quiet, monkey.
Anyway, guys, this is it for Jasmine cumslut for now. I’ve been Herr Wozzeck…
S: I’ve been Sura T’Lenya.
C: And I am Darth Crunchy of the Sith.
Well, that’ll be all. I’ll see you guys next week with something else. Hopefully.