919: Merry Christmas, Draco – One Shot

Title: Merry Christmas, Draco
Author: SasuNarufan13
Media: Books/Movies
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Romance and Hurt/Comfort
URL: One Shot
Critiqued by KittyNoodles

Kitty: Hello, Patrons, and a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, and Happy Other Wintertime Holidays to you all! Kitty again, this time with a jolly Christmas-themed baddie that’s sure to put the coal in your stockings!

Scythe: Are the Santa hats really necessary?

Kitty: Yes they are, my incredibly well-versed anti-human friend! This time we’re riffing a rather average Harry Potter shipfic featuring Drarry angst. I say “average because it could probably be used as a standard by which to score other Drarry badfics. You’ll see what I mean as we go along.

Scythe: Speaking of well-versed, Kitty: How do you know this is standard fare for Harry/Draco badfics?

Kitty: I dabbled in the pairing for a while. It never really hooked me, though – I only speak from the experience I gleaned from a handful of fics I found on Quizilla.

Scythe: As long as you don’t support Draco and Harry—

Kitty: Now, Dramione, on the other hand—

Kitty: *now sporting a black eye* You could have just said you don’t like cross-house pairings.

Scythe: I did. But it was right before you fell down, so I understand if you forgot.

Now then, let’s look at that summary!

Draco’s boyfriend has left him three years ago because he couldn’t take it anymore. Now Draco is all alone. Will he ever be happy again? Or does he have to spend the rest of his life and Christmas alone?

Scythe: Honestly, after To Love Another Soul, I’m just glad this one is intelligible.

Kitty: I counted one grammatical error, one punctuation error, and at least three badfic red flags. Not off to a pretty start.

Author’s note: This was one of my oldest Harry Potter fics and actually the first slash fic I wrote for this fandom.

Kitty: So this is a repost? Or just something you wrote, forgot about, found again, and posted? Because either way, you’re either very brave or very stupid. Never put old work out there unless you plan to be the first to make fun of it. This kind of showboating is an artist-killer.

I decided to post it now, seeing as it is nearly Christmas :) Tomorrow another Christmas oneshot will be posted and hopefully soon after a third one (but that one I still have to finish)

Scythe: Oh, goody! More riff fodder!

Anyway, I hope you’ll enjoy the oneshot despite the angsty start ^^;

Kitty: Letting your audience know how desperately you want them to like your work is another artist-killer, sweetling – not to mention a bit of a buzzkill for your readers.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter – J.K. Rowling owns it

Kitty: Can’t you at least put a few catch-all disclaimers on your user page, rather than muddy up your stories like this? You’ve only written for three fandoms; it wouldn’t wipe out the character limit.

Additional disclaimer: I don’t own the song ‘Listen to your heart’ either – that belongs to Roxette

Kitty: [Sticky rolls] you! I liked that song!

Scythe: You were a stupid teenager.

Merry Christmas/Happy holidays!

Scythe: Bah humbug. Just get to the story, already.

The young, blond man sighed and swirled the light brown liquid around in his mug, while staring in the fireplace. The light of the fire casted a soft glow on the blond hair and somehow softened the sharp features of his face.

Kitty: Too many adjectives. You didn’t have to state his hair color right off the bat; you could have simply called him a young man, and then said, “The firelight cast a soft glow on his blond hair.” We also don’t really need to know the color of his beverage; no matter what it is, at this point in the scene it’s a bit of a pointless detail.

Heck, if I was writing it, the paragraph would have looked like this:

“The young man sat swirling the contents of his mug as he stared into the fireplace. The fire that blazed within cast a soft, warm light upon him that softened his sharp features and made his pale hair gleam.”

Scythe: Thank you, Professor Showoff. May we continue?

He let the tea slip into his throat and briefly missed the strong sharp taste of alcohol.

Kitty: Draco Malfoy is drinking tea out of a mug. Right.

Scythe: I’ll bet next we’ll discover he’s taken up knit-yoga.

He shook his head to chase that thought away. No, he wouldn’t drink alcohol – that had him brought into this situation. Sitting all alone with Christmas in this huge house. For three years in a row.

Kitty: Oh, god, they’ve turned him into a Lifetime chick! And a recovering alcoholic!

Draco’s throat constricted and a huge lump nestled in his throat. How he had ever been so stupid, he still didn’t know. He had had the perfect boyfriend: smart, sexy, gorgeous, handsome, gentle and not the mention the perfect body…

And he had let it slip through his fingers, because he couldn’t control himself; because he had been a bastard. Because he hadn’t had the guts to face his past. Instead of facing his past, he had let himself forget it by drinking himself into a stupor. If it had stopped by just being drunk on occasions, then he suspected it hadn’t end this badly. However, it seemed that being drunk had brought out the bad side of Draco.

Kitty: Here we go. For those of you put off by alcohol abuse and/or domestic abuse, both lay directly ahead.

Scythe: Are we sure the ficcer isn’t a bit tipsy? These rampant tense changes are getting worse by the paragraph.

Every time he got home seriously drunk, he found a way to insult his lover by pointing out the bad things (well, bad in his pissed mind) in everything he saw; mostly it was his lover he insulted. The next morning he would apologize and he would do everything to make his partner happy, so that he would be forgiving. And his boyfriend always forgave him. Until that fatal night.

Kitty: Ho-ly [mistletoe]. That is a textbook cycle of abuse: Tension building in the form of Draco getting gradually more upset about his past, abuse in the form of verbal assault, and then the honeymoon phase where he feels badly and promises to be better and treats his boyfriend like a king until the tension builds up again.

You don’t deserve to be forgiven as long as you perpetuate the cycle, you piece of [fruitcake]. And this fic doesn’t deserve the kudos it’s gotten, because I can almost guarantee that it’s going to make abuse and alcoholism seem like tiny, forgivable offenses without Draco having to spend any on-screen time fixing his mistakes rather than sitting about and feeling sorry for himself.

He had had a bad day at the Ministry and he had getting himself drunk – again – to let some steam off – again. As always he had gone home real late and had found his lover sitting on the couch, waiting for him. He had noticed immediately that Draco was drunk and had sighed. For some strange reason, that sigh had compelled him to sit on the couch.

Scythe: What kind of pathetic little nobody drinks after a bad day at work? We all have bad days; unless you happen to be an emergency services worker – especially an American law enforcement officer, at the moment – you aren’t having any worse a day than the guy behind the bar probably did yesterday. And drinking yourself into a state of uncontrollable rage won’t make it better.

Just when he had been about to shut his eyes, because he was tired and needed a good nap, his nose had caught the whiff of a strange smell. It had smelled like cologne and it had been coming from his partner, who had shifted nervously when Draco sat down. It had made him furious; his lover never wore cologne, so that meant he had been with another man. A man that wasn’t Draco.

Kitty: Or he wanted to try some cologne for you. Or for himself. It speaks volumes that Draco immediately assumes his perfect boyfriend is cheating on him based on a whiff of cologne. I would be shifting uncomfortably, too, in the boyfriend’s position.

Scythe: Is the ficcer attempting to make Draco sound bestial, or do they really think no one knows what they mean by “another man?”

Kitty: That might actually be our first indicator that the ficcer is either female, straight, or both. I’m fairly certain a gay man would just say “another man” and leave it at that, because both his straight and homosexual readers would ostensibly understand. I could be wrong, though.

His anger had boiled over by the thought that somebody had dared to touch what was his and he had lashed out, worse than before. He had called his lover a slut and a whore and numerous other hurtful things. When his lover had tried to defend himself, he had completely snapped and Draco had hit him, right on his cheek. While his boyfriend was trying to hold tears back, Draco had ranted further. Eventually he had passed out on the couch.

Kitty: Okay, be honest: Who saw this coming even before the hyper-possessive use of the phrase “what was his” to describe his boyfriend?

Scythe: Look at all of those hands.

And yes, Draco, clearly the appropriate thing to do when somebody else has touched your things is to destroy those things with your own words and hands. Bravo.

The next morning, Draco had woken up to the sight of his lover standing with two suitcases in the hallway. His eyes had been red from crying, his body had been trembling and his cheek had swollen up.

Kitty: So that should be bruised now, and you may or may not have done damage to his teeth or cheekbone. Nicely done. I’m shocked the poor boy even waited for you to wake up.

Scythe: Personally, I would have killed Draco in his sleep. Or at least dumped some hot grits on him.

Kitty: That’s not a half-bad idea. Nothing like a round of grit-ball to get back at an abusive [reindeer].

Draco had gasped in shock and had stepped towards his boyfriend to hug him when he was stopped.

Kitty: By members of the Magical Law Enforcement Patrol, I should hope.

His lover had told him he could no longer go on like this, that he had loved Draco, but that that hadn’t been enough and that he was leaving.

Kitty: And good on him! Never let a man lay his hands on you – or anyone else, for that matter! This fic might actually be doing something right, albeit inadvertantly.

Scythe: Yes, except it’s also painting the alcoholic abuser, rather than the clearly emotionally damaged abused, as the more tragic character.

Draco had pleaded with him, begged him to stay, promising he would change, but his lover had just shaken his head and had walked out of the door.

Scythe: Smart man. Doubtless Draco has made those promises before.

Out of Draco’s life. Draco had stared dumbfounded and saw that he had managed to do what others hadn’t succeeded in: he had broken Harry Potter. And in doing that, he had broking himself.

Kitty: How, exactly, is the person strong enough to put an end to this increasingly abusive relationship “broken?” Battered in every sense, yes. Suffering from a badly damaged if not utterly destroyed sense of self-worth, certainly. But he’s still got enough in him to leave before this drunk little creep puts him in the ground. There are people who never see the abuse become physical, who only ever endure emotional abuse and for a shorter period of time, who do not have that kind of courage left in them (and I say only because it is the only form, not because it is less traumatic in any way.) Harry is very far from broken.

And of course Harry’s brokenness is all about Draco. Clearly nothing matters unless it affects this washed-up little psycho, too.

After that day, he had never seen Harry again. He had searched everywhere for him, but he couldn’t be found. Eventually, the gossip had told him that Harry was now living with Lupin, his honorary godfather (much later, he realized that the cologne Harry was wearing that night had been from Lupin, who had visited Harry that day).

Kitty: Wooooooooow. How the [cranberries] did Draco not know about Lupin? Or consider for the fraction of an instant that Lupin was the other man Harry had been around, and being his honorary godfather would probably have hugged the guy at some point?

Scythe: Because it didn’t concern Draco or his sex life?

At first, he had hope that he could win Harry back. He hadn’t had touched one single drop of alcohol since the breakup. There were times when he wanted to drink so badly, but the thought of Harry always stopped him. His hope of Harry returning to him had vanished when after a year and a half, he still hadn’t heard of Harry. For a while he had been depressed and almost had begun drinking again, just so he could forget everything for a while. But somehow he had found the strength to refuse the drank. And now here he was: two years later and still alone.

Kitty: You hunted for and hoped to win back your abused ex for a year and a half? Add “Nice Guy” to Draco’s list of stunning character traits – and give that boy a trilby while you’re at it. Draco, quit shaving your neck and embrace your very obvious creepiness.

Scythe: Didn’t the story say earlier it’s only been three years since Harry left? Because now that’s jumped to three and a half. That would be four Christmases, wouldn’t it?

Kitty: Hmm… I think so. Even if Harry left on December 26, that’s only six days (counting the twenty-sixth, since he ostensibly left in the morning) before the new year would have started. So either Draco is celebrating an extra Christmas in July, or the ficcer needs to invest in a calendar. Or a refresher course in second-grade math.

Draco sighed and placed the empty cup on the small table next to his chair. He casted a longing look at the Christmas tree, where three small gifts were lying on the carpeted floor. One gift for each Christmas that Harry had not spent with him. Despite realizing he had lost his chance with Harry, he still bought presents for him. He did it mostly to reassure himself that their life together had been real, that he hadn’t dreamed it.

Kitty: What the flying [frankincense and myrrh]?! You bought a present for Harry each year he wasn’t with you?!

Scythe: This oneshot brought to you by Stephenie Meyer.

Kitty: This is beyond healthy behavior; SasuNarufan13, I really hope your penname refers to how old you are, because otherwise you have absolutely no excuse for writing Draco like this and doing so in anything less than an antagonistic light! You are glorifying codependency!

A lonely tear dropped down on the photo he held in his hands: he and Harry embracing each other in front of the fireplace, a year after the war had ended. Two years before Draco would ruin everything by starting to drink.

Scythe: So it’s been five and a half years since the end of the Second Wizarding War. Assumedly. Although perhaps not, considering Lupin is still alive and Harry is not married to Ginny. But Harry wasn’t a legal adult until the sixth book, I believe, so…

Well. It would appear we have an unmarked AU.

Kitty: Whoops, there’s a bar marking the scene shift.

Harry Potter sat in a chair next to the fireplace, looking amused at the scene before him.

Scythe: Somebody torched another animate Draco doll.

Ron Weasley, his best friend, was trying to convince Hermione Granger to let him open his presents now, instead of later.

Scythe: I suppose they aren’t married, either.

Kitty: I would hope not; Hermione might be caught for child molestation, what with Ron acting like a five-year-old.

Harry chuckled softly when Hermione rolled her eyes and disappeared into the kitchen – Ron’s presents following her of course.

Kitty: Sorry, three-year-old.

Ron pouted and huffed. “Why does she have to be so difficult? What’s the difference in opening our presents now, instead of later?”


Scythe: I’ve got it.

*** The following scene was deemed too violent for Christmas viewing, in accordance with the Santa Clause of 2014. Instead, please enjoy this festive little short. ***

*** Thank you, and have a very happy holiday. ***

Kitty: I didn’t know arms could bend like that.

Scythe: It’s amazing what the human body can do when one stops caring about the state of the skeleton.

“Ron, you ask that question every year and I still don’t have an answer to it,” Harry smiled and stood up. “Now come on, I think dinner is ready.”

Kitty: Really? Harry can’t even be [checked twice] to say, “It’s tradition, Ron?”

Ron’s face lightened up and he hurried to the kitchen. Harry followed him, shaking his head.

Kitty: At least he’s grown up into a healthy, happy young man, utterly free of his old, abusive relationship and the scars or left on him.

Scene shift!

With a sigh, Harry plopped into his chair and stretched. As always, the food had been good and it had been a wonderful evening, spent with the Weasley family. Still, he was relieved he was finally home. A whole evening of acting happy always tired him out.

Kitty: …[Jingle bells].

Scythe: At least it’s realistic?

He tried to shake the depressing thoughts away, but it didn’t work. He nearly growled from frustration; it had been three fucking years! Why couldn’t he be happy? Oh, he knew the answer, he just didn’t want to admit it.

Kitty: No one ever wants to admit how deeply an abusive relationship has cut them, but doing so can be the first step to healing those wounds.

Scythe: This is turning into a therapy session.

In a desperate attempt to change his thoughts, he switched on his radio. The Muggle song ‘Listen to your heart’ filled the room. Every time Harry heard that song, his thoughts always went to him. It was forbidden, but he couldn’t help it. He missed him so much…

Scythe: So Harry has a Muggle radio? Odd, but not unlikely.

Kitty: Forbidden by whom, exactly? Mistaken or overwrought feelings of regret are also quite common in the aftermath of an abusive relationship. Putting them to rest is part of the healing process.

…Those aren’t just mistaken or overweight feelings, are they?

He was startled out his depressing thoughts when Remus sat next to him.

Kitty: Oh, please try to fix Harry with sex. Please. As long as he doesn’t go back to Draco.

“Hey Remus,” Harry smiled weakly.

Remus smiled back, but looked at him concerned.

Kitty: Look, either write, “but looked at him, concerned,” or, “but looked at him in concern.” Not both.

“Are you thinking of him again?” Remus suddenly asked.

Scythe: Yes.

“What? No! No, of course not! Why would I?” Harry asked nervously.

Kitty: Because he left deep, deep wounds in your mind and heart. Creatures like him are hard to put from your mind.

“Because you miss him.”

Harry looked away, not trying to deny it.

Kitty: My hatred for this fic knows no bounds.

“Harry…” Remus began, then sighed. He knew why Harry was unhappy and he wished he could help him. It was heartbreaking to see Harry like that. Remus couldn’t even remember when Harry had been truly happy in the last three years. He decided to do something about that.

Kitty: Offer to help him find a suitable psychiatrist or other therapist with whom Harry can work out his unresolved feelings and begin the healing process?

“You know, I heard that he stopped drinking. People say he’s really changed,” Remus said hesitatingly.

Kitty: [This whole sentence earned me a lump of coal for the next decade].

“Oh yeah?” Harry said uninterested, not daring to hope.

Scythe: If you are disinterested, you are not paying attention to what is being said. If you are “not daring to hope,” you are hanging upon every word with bated breath.

It is impossible to be both of these things at the same time.

“Let me give you some advice: some people are worth a second chance. There’s only one person you could be truly happy with, Harry. Don’t waste that chance,” Remus spoke softly and briefly squeezed Harry’s shoulder. Then he disappeared to his room. It was all up to Harry now.


I’ve been in an abusive relationship. I’ve had someone get inside my head and make me almost as clinically insane as they were, all because I wanted to think they actually found something worthwhile in me. I have been there. I know what it is like. I know how hard it is to get away from that kind of relationship. I know how hard it is to forget.

I spit on SasuNarufan13 and every person who bookmarked or left a kudo on this heaping pile of [Myrrh is mine; its bitter perfume breathes a life of gathering gloom]. You people are no better than those who abuse us; you perpetuate and apologize for and forgive the things they do when all that they deserve is scorn and hatred.

You disgust me.

I need something funny to watch.

There we go. Onward.

Harry bit on his lip. He really wanted to follow Remus’ advice, but… What if it all went wrong again? He couldn’t handle a second heartbreak; he barely had managed this one.

Scythe: So… don’t go back to Draco. Very simple.

He stared into the fire and let the memories wash over him for the first time in three years, while listening to the song.

Kitty: Brace yourselves for the badly-interwoven lyrics, everybody.

I know there’s something in the wake of your smile.

I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah.

You’ve built a love,

but that love falls apart.

Your little piece of heaven,

turns too dark.

Scythe: Are you humming along with the song?

Kitty: Yes.

The moment when he and Draco first started out as friends…

Scythe: Which was never.

Listen to your heart,

when he’s calling for you.

Listen to your heart,

there’s nothing else you can do.

I don’t know where you’re going,

and I don’t know why,

but listen to your heart before.

you tell him goodbye.

Scythe: Now you’re mumbling along.

*Kitty nods.*

The look on Draco’s face when Harry agreed to go out with him: one of pure joy…

Scythe: Kitty, the song doesn’t mention dismemberment and bone-breaking.

*Kitty ignores Scythe and continues singing along.*

Sometimes you wonder,

if this fight is worthwhile.

The precious moments

are all lost in the tide, yeah.

They’re swept away,

and nothing is what is seems,

the feeling of belonging to your dreams.

Scythe: You’re getting the tune stuck in my head.

The first time they said they loved each other…

Scythe: Was that before or after they started dating? Because that’s incredibly crucial at this juncture.

Listen to your heart

when he’s calling for you.

Listen to your heart

there’s nothing else you can do.

I don’t know where you’re going,

and I don’t know why,

but listen to your heart

before you tell him goodbye.

Scythe: Odd that a song about giving love a chance when a healthy relationship hits a healthy rough patch is being used to justify returning to an unhealthy relationship because you can’t be bothered to date anybody else.

Draco who nervously asked Harry to move in with him…

Scythe: *Draco* …And I have your newspaper all set up in the corner there, and there’s a bowl of kibble in the kitc—

*Kitty kicks Scythe in the knee, earning herself another lump of coal in this year’s stocking.*

And there are voices,

that want to be heard.

So much to mention

but you can’t find the words.

The scent of magic,

the beauty that’s been

when love was wilder than the wind.

Scythe: Tune aside, I can see why you liked this so much. It’s actually rather uplifting. I may need to kick the Mutt after this to feel like myself again.

Draco laughing…

Draco smiling…

Draco blushing…

Scythe: Draco coming home at ungodly hours of the night, piss-drunk as usual.

Kitty: Draco calling you horrendous names, likely blaming you for everything that ever went wrong for him, and then promising to change the next day without really meaning it.

Scythe: Draco punching you because you were wearing cologne.

Kitty: Draco blaming the alcohol for his misbehavior, the way that creature blamed its insanity.

Scythe: Go back to singing, Kitty.

His beautiful grey eyes that shone with love every time he looked at Harry…

*Kitty barks out a laugh that really doesn’t sound like a laugh at all.*

Listen to your heart, *Take a listen*

when he’s calling for you.

Listen to your heart, *Take a listen*

there’s nothing else you can do.

I don’t know where you’re going,

and I don’t know why,

but listen to your heart before,

You tell him goodbye

Scythe: Did this song inspire the Mutt and her knight, or am I off?

*Kitty flips Scythe off and earns more coal in her stocking.*

Their kissing, their touching, their lovemaking…

Listen to your heart, *Take a listen to it*

when he’s calling for you.

Listen to your heart, *Take a listen to it*

there’s nothing else you can do.

i dont know where you’re going

and i dont know why,

but listen to your heart before

ohh listen to your heart

Scythe: Was it really necessary to add the repetitive fade out lyrics?

All those memories made Harry dizzy. He had buried all those memories deep inside his mind, so that he wouldn’t always feel hurt when he thought of their time together.

Scythe: Judging by Kitty’s reaction, that’s another frighteningly accurate detail.

Maybe Remus is right, Harry thought suddenly. It wasn’t as if Remus made mistakes about this sort of topic.

Scythe: He just did. Poor Harry is surrounded by bad influences.

And maybe the song’s right as well, Harry thought when he heard what the woman sung.

Scythe: Not about a topic it doesn’t discuss.

listen to your heart,

ohh Take a listen to it


*listen to your heart*

Take a listen to it


*listen to your heart*

*listen to your heart*

He stood up and walked straight out of the house to the Apparation spot. Hopefully he wouldn’t regret this.

Kitty: You will. Scene shift.

Remus stood watching out of the window and smiled when he saw Harry Apparate. Merry Christmas, Harry, Remus thought, smiling tenderly.

Kitty: I don’t think that’s actually Lupin, watching on so happily as Harry returns to Draco like a lamb to the slaughterhouse. I think that must be a former Death Eater.

Scythe: Scene shift.

Draco startled when he heard the doorbell. He frowned when he noticed the hour: it was half past eleven. Who could be at his door at the late hour? He stood up and waited in the middle of the room, knowing that Piksky, his house elf, would open the door and bring the guest to him.

Kitty: I’m stunned Harry raised no objections to Draco owning even one house elf.

Scythe: Maybe Piksky was purchased after Harry left. Draco needs someone to abuse in his absence, after all.

“Master Draco, sir, Piksky had brought someone to master, sir,” the high pitched voice of Piksky said clearly through the door.

Scythe: These tense changes are on purpose, aren’t they?

Kitty: More than likely.

“Bring the guest in, Piksky,” Draco ordered.

“Yes, Master Draco, Piksky will do it.”

Scythe: Rather chatty for a slave. I thought owned house elves tended to speak only when it was absolutely necessary?

Draco’s grey eyes went wide and he felt like fainting when he saw his unexpected guest.

Kitty: It was Voldemort. And then he zapped Draco dead. The end.

“Hey Draco,” Harry smiled tenderly, but hesitatingly. He stood nervously in the doorway.

Kitty: That dizzy, incorporeal feeling is your entire being telling you to run away, Harry.

Piksky bowed and disappeared.

Scythe: Well, that’s one less weapon Draco can beat Harry with.

“Harry, is that really you?” Draco asked whispering, not daring to take his eyes of Harry, afraid that Harry would disappear.

Kitty: It would serve you right if he did.

“Yeah, long time no see, right?” Harry chuckled nervously. The next moment he had his arms full with a crying Draco.

Kitty: Harry’s back in hell and his own personal Satan is the one crying. I give up.

“I’m so sorry for what I did to you! I’m such a bastard! I’ve missed you so much! Please, don’t leave me again! I will do everything for you, as long as you stay. Please, I’ve missed you so much,” Draco cried, tears dripping on Harry’s shoulders.

Kitty: Oh, sure, Harry. Go ahead and listen to him. He’ll keep all these pretty promises for a full month or so, this time.

“Ssh, Draco, I’m not leaving you. Hush now, I’m staying,” Harry whispered, tears leaking out of his eyes as well. He buried his face in Draco’s neck and inhaled the soft smell of lavender of Draco’s skin.

Kitty: Those are not happy tears.

Scythe: I would think Draco would have something of a more masculine taste in perfume. Like stale liquor.

“Are you serious? You’re really staying?” Draco asked hopefully and looked at Harry.

Kitty: Thus the true tragedy reveals itself.

Harry nodded and smiled weakly. “Yeah, Remus made me realize that I can’t live without you. I’ve missed you.”

Kitty: No, Lupin helped you lose the battle against what you thought were guilt and loneliness, but were in fact shadows of Draco’s abusive influence on you. Hence the weak smile.

Scythe: I’m still holding out for a midnight murder.

“I’ll never hurt you again, Harry. I swear it. I have completely stopped drinking,” Draco swore, his arms tightening around Harry’s waist, while inhaling Harry’s smell: chocolate mixed with vanilla.

Kitty: Prove it, you worthless excuse for a functioning human being. All you’ve done is try to stalk Harry in your free time between tea-drinking pity parties.

“That’s good, because I couldn’t bear it if you hurt me again,” Harry said, shuddering.

Scythe: Now Harry’s a Lifetime woman.

Kitty: Harry is clearly ignoring his common sense at this point. Actively.

“Never again, I swear it.” Draco pressed his lips on Harry’s forehead, relishing in the fact that Harry was his again. And now he wouldn’t ever let Harry go again.

Kitty: Well, anyone want to take bets on which one ends up dead and half-naked in a ditch somewhere? Because I’m pretty sure it’s going to be Harry. Probably with either “MINE” or “SL[sleigh]T” carved into his forehead.

It was at that moment that Harry noticed the three presents under the tree.

“Whose presents are they?” he asked confused.

Kitty: *Draco* They’re yours! I’ve been buying one every year for you so that I could watch you open them someday before I [Santa’s going to empty his entire stock of coal on me this year]. *increasingly unhinged giggling*

Draco turned around and smiled. “Those are your presents, Harry. I think that one of them is perfect for this moment.”

Scythe: *Draco* It’s the big one shaped like a very large [Donner].

*Kitty punches Scythe in the arm.*

“Oh? Which one? And why did you get me presents? You didn’t know I was coming, did you?” Harry asked confused, but let himself be dragged towards the tree.

Scythe: Get out while you can, Harry.

“I bought a present each year that you were gone, because…” Draco hesitated. “Because then at least, I knew I hadn’t imagined my time with you,” he said softly.

Kitty: Actually, buying things for fictional characters only strengthens the belief that they are real. Draco could easily be hallucinating in a padded cell right now and have no idea.

Harry’s emerald green eyes widened and looked at Draco with wonder and love.

Kitty: Point proven.

“Here, open this one first.” Draco pushed the smallest present in Harry’s hands and pulled him with him towards the chair. Draco sat down and pulled Harry into his lap, enjoying the warmth of Harry’s body against him, after those long three years.

Scythe: Oh, good lord, he really did buy Harry a [Dancer].

*Kitty makes a strangled angry noise and attempts to strangle Scythe, only to be shadowbound to her seat.*

Scythe Down, human.

Harry blushed, but didn’t complain and opened the present careful.

His breath hitched when he saw his present. It was a ring. It was made of golden with tiny green diamond stones on the top, that glittered in the fire. It was simple, but beautiful.

Kitty: He bought his ex-punching bag an engagement ring?!

“Oh my god,” Harry whispered and looked at Draco with wide eyes.

Kitty: Get the axe, Harry! Get the axe!

“I know that it’s too soon, considering we’re only together for a few minutes of so, but I would like to ask you to marry me. I love you with all my heart and soul and I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Draco whispered in Harry’s ears. “Of course, I understand it if you don’t want to, but I just wanted to…”

Kitty: I WAS [gingerbread house] KIDDING!!!

His speech was cut off when Harry kissed him passionately.

“Of course, I’ll marry you. I love you so much, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my live with you,” Harry whispered against Draco’s lips.

Scythe: And the brainwashing is complete.

*Kitty makes incoherent rage noises.*

“You don’t know how happy you make me now,” Draco said, his grey eyes shining with joy and love.

“Why don’t you show me how much?” Harry whispered seductively and laughed when Draco took him in his arms and hurried to his room.

Scythe: I’d be laughing, too. They must make quite a sight.

Now this is what I call a merry Christmas, Draco thought happily when he kissed Harry again.

Scythe: I do believe Kitty disagrees. Kitty? Say goodbye to the nice Patrons.

*Kitty, still thrashing wildly, inhales deeply and—*


60 Comments on “919: Merry Christmas, Draco – One Shot”

  1. AdmiralSakai says:

    Bleh. That whole ‘fic was…. just more blah than anything else.

    Even the creepy parts were boring.

  2. Herr Wozzeck says:

    Scythe: Honestly, after To Love Another Soul, I’m just glad this one is intelligible.

    I’m just glad it has no lines about unicorn vomit in it.

  3. Herr Wozzeck says:

    I don’t own the song ‘Listen to your heart’ either – that belongs to Roxette


    What song is that?

  4. Herr Wozzeck says:

    He let the tea slip into his throat and briefly missed the strong sharp taste of alcohol.

    Holy shit, he’s engaging in underage drinking!


    Freeze, motherfucker! Whoever handed you that beverage is under arrest!

  5. Herr Wozzeck says:

    Kitty: Here we go. For those of you put off by alcohol abuse and/or domestic abuse, both lay directly ahead.

    Oh dear…

    Well, it can’t be any worse than Isis and Ayla’s use of it, that’s for sure…

  6. Herr Wozzeck says:

    I’m fairly certain a gay man would just say “another man” and leave it at that, because both his straight and homosexual readers would ostensibly understand. I could be wrong, though.

    Nah, I think you’re on the right track. Well, speaking as a gay man, you know.

  7. Herr Wozzeck says:

    His lover had told him he could no longer go on like this, that he had loved Draco, but that that hadn’t been enough and that he was leaving.

    And we aren’t shown any of this because…?

  8. Herr Wozzeck says:

    Kitty: Wooooooooow. How the [cranberries] did Draco not know about Lupin? Or consider for the fraction of an instant that Lupin was the other man Harry had been around, and being his honorary godfather would probably have hugged the guy at some point?

    And wait, if this is Draco as an adult, then why the fuck is Lupin still alive!?

  9. Herr Wozzeck says:

    Scythe: This is turning into a therapy session.

    No no, see, it’s not a therapy session until Fraug shows up.

    Speaking of which… FRAAAAAAUUUUG!!!!!

  10. Herr Wozzeck says:

    I spit on SasuNarufan13 and every person who bookmarked or left a kudo on this heaping pile of [Myrrh is mine; its bitter perfume breathes a life of gathering gloom]. You people are no better than those who abuse us; you perpetuate and apologize for and forgive the things they do when all that they deserve is scorn and hatred.


    Something tells me you don’t want to stick around for Jasmine cumslut…

  11. Herr Wozzeck says:

    Scythe: Was it really necessary to add the repetitive fade out lyrics?

    Jeez, this is like Now you’re thinking with portals all over again, only much worse!

  12. Herr Wozzeck says:


    *checks actual fic*

    At least it doesn’t have any comments that are all “DUDE, THIS IS TOTES AWESOME!”

    • fledglinghuman says:

      So many kudos, though… =.=

      • Herr Wozzeck says:

        Yeah, that was just like “um, what?”

      • fledglinghuman says:

        I feel like the ratio of kudos to comments is an indicator that a lot of people are trying to support this budding young writer without explicitly supporting the piece she wrote. A3O is kinda big on that, which is great, but not for badfics.

        Although they could just as easily have been hoping for more wangst and only left kudos to indicate that they had read the piece.

        Basically my hope in humanity is a stubborn thing to kill.

      • Basically my hope in humanity is a stubborn thing to kill.

        :pats kitty on the head:

        They’re so cute when they’re young and starry-eyed!

  13. TacoMagic says:

    Never put old work out there unless you plan to be the first to make fun of it.

    Or, you know, have your sister make fun of it.

  14. TacoMagic says:

    Additional disclaimer: I don’t own the song ‘Listen to your heart’ either – that belongs to Roxette

    Oh gods, is this a songfic? Do I need to jump into the shark tank before it’s too late?

  15. You know what pisses me off about this fic (besides the obvious)? It’s Lupin’s appearance. The problem is that he’s supposed to be dead, and that what little he does in this [Frosty] mess of a story could have been done by anyone else. Why have Lupin? Couldn’t anyone ALIVE have sent Harry to the slaughter?

    Reading this piece of [Fudgecake] get riffed made my Christmas.

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