914: From Another World – EP’s Bitching & Chapter 40Posted: December 23, 2014
S: You! You’ve got some nerve showing your face here!
M: I’m sorry, who are you supposed to be again? I think I heard your name once, but I can’t particularly recall it. It was rather stupid.
S: You son of a bitch! If you can’t even remember my name then just remember this! John Shepard! NOW DIE! *Tackles Manus through a wall*
N: Shit! Ert, we’re gonna try and take him, but if we can’t we’ve reached a situation high enough to warrant use of the Red Ring. We call for help, you put the thing on. Got it?
E: Kick his ass!
C: Read my mind! Come on Nora, let’s shatter that damn ring of his! *Both exit*
E: Looks like this is gonna be a solo one. Well, we start off not with a chapter, but with an author’s note from EP.
Ok guys I just want to say that due to collage the next chap will be delayed. This is partly due to my aspergus syndrome (have a bad habit of being distracted)
E: I’d criticize him for this, then I remember I only have 2,000 words for my next chapter done and I have updated in other a month. Kinda sad.
and the fact that my collage course is level 3. DO NOT SAY THAT IT IS NO EXCUSE BECAUSE IT IS! I’m in collage three and a half days a week and don’t get me started on the homework. And that’s not mentioning my work experience and night class.
E: Ok, here’s the thing though. I’m gonna own up and say that the reason I don’t update as much as I could is because I goof off. I run off and do things I rather do (I have way too many SMT games on my backlog) but I still force myself to sit down every once in awhile and write. And you know what? I work twenty hours a week, I have four days at college a week as well, sometimes five a week and I while I don’t update my stories regularly, I still manage to get these up on a weekly basis, minus last week when I had to call out because I was staying up till three in the morning writing a paper. So…shut it
This and also I’m planning to play ME3 again while taking down notes. This will help me to get the details and find the perfect places to add my content. I will also add one or two N7 missions and change a few parts of the story missions.
E: Oh…Christ. When we finally get to ME3 he is absolutely fucking awful with this. He felt it necessary to include every single firefight from the Mars mission. EVERY! SINGLE! ONE! For those of you who haven’t played Mass Effect, there are a LOT of firefights in that mission, so 80% of the chapter is variations on how Shepard and co kill Cerberus soldier #9281
The is one note that I would like to add. Herr told me that there are a few unanswered questions in the end.
E: THAT’S A FUCKING UNDERSTATEMENT!
However due to my limited understanding of certain things I cannot recognize these questions so sorry.
E: Limited understanding of the English language and basic plot structure probably.
The final thing is like any good gamer I hate the ME3 ending and I will change it. But it will take time so please bare with me.
E: I imagine his plan goes something like this.
E: And now, the next *Bang* Nora, Cornelia? You ok?
C: That wasn’t us! Shepard he uh…Manus threw him through three floors.
N: He’s just wailing on Stupard. Oh Christ that looks like a nasty hit.
E: Hopefully they’ll wear each other out. Keep me posted.
N: If we’re lucky Manus will be slightly winded after he’s done using Shepard as a punching bag. But ok, we’ll let you know if anything happens.
Sorry I would have got this out sooner but I recently acquired my uncles copy of the dead space trilogy and ps3 with a few of it’s famous games.
E: So much for Aspergers and College. At least I admit I spend time I could be writing sitting on my ass playing video games.
Chapter 40 The Reaper Invasion.
Admiral’s Hackett looked over the fifth fleet, his fleet. Ready for anything but his bones where telling him something big was coming.
E: The fleet was ready for anything but his bones? Uh. Are you expecting them to invade at any second? Anderson and Hackett talk about shit is going down and how the Reapers are on their way to fuck Earth over before we cut to Shepard.
Shepard looked out of his apartment’s room watching a kid around 8 years old playing with a toy of an alliance fighter. The kid didn’t notice John as he played but the fact was he was enjoying his youth. Or maybe he couldn’t see him as he was behind tinted glass. Ether way Shepard just watched the boy playing.
E: YOU! *Loads sniper rifle* FUCK YOU YOU LITTLE SHIT! YOU RUINED THE FRANCHISE!
G: HEY! Is someone playing snipe children without me?
E:…*Throws sniper rifle away*
The nostalgia hit him hard as he remembered parts of his childhood being like that but the rest torn away from him by the infection. Those images still haunted him whether he liked it or not. The last few months however where tourcher for him and Ash. Due to the fact that they both got kicked out of the alliance and pending trail. Ash took the brunt of that as her family was dedicated to be with the alliance.
E: Yeah, slight note to be made here. For a brief time I was EP’s beta reader, long story short it was part of a desperate attempt that I was making to try and teach him how not to suck. And guess what? When I pointed out the countless plot holes in this chapter, he threw weak ass excuses at me and then brought up the situation I mentioned last time about him wanting me to do his job for him. Anyway, the brain trust thought that Ashley would still be in the Alliance after abandoning her position and then dropping off the face of the galaxy for nearly a week. I had to point out that that was a fucking stupid idea. And even then he didn’t change THAT much of the chapter, taking the path of the least resistance. I’d bring up the chat log but for some fucking reason I can’t even access the messages EP sent me after he threw a temper tantrum and blocked me on FF.net. End point is that he couldn’t even figure out that something like desertion would result in negative consequences until I held his hand and pointed it out to him.
When her family heard her mother was not too pleased but understood the reasons as did Lynn. But Sarah and Abbey on the other hand knew the true reasons why.
E: So do Lynn and her mom know the reasons or not?
However when the trail was about to begin something happened to a Batarian system that halted their trail. Now they where only kept around in case it was the reapers.
As a alliance Kodak flew by Shepard smiled and gently moved way from the window as he tapped a few times on a OSD. At that moment an alliance marine walked in. the marine only wore a shirt and trousers allowing him to show his mussels.
As he entered he saluted.
“Commander.” he said.
“Your not supposed to call me that any more James.” John said as he turned around.
E: Great. Shepard is on first name basis with James Vega even though this is the first time he’s been seen in this story. In fact, this entire scene is just jumping to the beginning of ME3 without connecting it to the last chapter at all. EP just doesn’t fucking care. But we knew this already didn’t we? Remember. Alk’drn. Anyway, there’s a lot of boring filler dialogue lifted from the game, so let’s skip a good chunk of that until we get to Anderson talking about why the Alliance still isn’t buying that the Reapers are real
“There just scared.” Anderson defended. “None of them have seen what you have seen. You faced down a Reaper. Hell you even talked to one then blew the damn thing up. You’ve seen how they harvest us, what they plan to do to us. You know more about this than anyone.”
“Is that why they grounded me and took away my ship? And got Ash kicked out?”
That sentence almost crossed the line.
E: I love how indecisive this story is. “It almost crossed a line! It didn’t BUT IT CAME CLOSE! IT’S SO FUCKING TENSE!” I almost miss Stupard’s self righteous speeches in From Another World. At least he could commit to something. Half the time this guy is so fucking wishy washy and trying so hard not to offend everyone. Even when he gets self righteous he can’t stick to it. He just idly mentions it for a chapter and then forgets it ever happens. Say what you will about Stupard, at least he took a stand when it came to his values.
Anderson stopped in his tracks and looked at John.
“You know that’s not true. When you blew up the Batarian relay hundred’s of thousands of Batarians died. Sure you warned them but that doesn’t change the facts.”
“It was ether that or let the Reapers through our back door. I did the only thing that was left.”
E: And 300,000 people are dead and you’re still keeping secrets from the governments of the galaxy. Yet they’re supposed to just trust you. I don’t think you know how this works.
“I know that and so does the committee. If it wasn’t for that you would have been left in the brig to rot.”
“Doubt that could have held me.
E: THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL HERE!?
But is that your good word?”
“Yeah I trust you and so does the committee.”
“I understand but Anderson I’m a warrior prince not a politician.”
E:…A prince that doesn’t know how to handle politics. That sentence perfectly captures EVERYTHING wrong with the concept of this prick leading a civilization.
“I don’t need you to be ether.” Anderson said before walking again with John and James in tow. “I just need you to help us do whatever the hell it takes for us to stop the Reapers.”
They approached a security room. As the door opened a red haired officer turned to them.
“They’re expecting you two. Admiral.” she said before leading them into another room.
As Anderson and the officer walked ahead to talk to one of the guards James decided to give the ex-commander his best.
“Hey Shepard.” he said getting John’s attention. “Good luck in there. In respect you deserve better.”
E: No. He really fucking doesn’t. He’s a little shit who gets everything handed to him on a silver platter encrusted with diamonds and then complains when everything doesn’t automatically go his way.
James then shook John’s had before talking for a bit.
The guard then finished checking Anderson’s and Shepard’s details before walking off and allowing the Admiral and officer passed. As the officer walked ahead a woman dressed in a blue hoodie and jeans the Admiral.
“Anderson.” she said before noticing Shepard over David’s shoulder. Seeing him just made her smile.
“Shepard.” she exclaimed.
Hearing that voice Shepard just turned around to see his lover. He just smiled as he saw her.
“Ash.” he said as he walked up to the two of them.
“Williams how did it go?” Anderson asked.
“I can never tell with them all I know is that I can no longer be part of the Alliance.”
E: Great, the goddamn pronoun game. I don’t know who the fuck “they” are. Care to fill me in story? I know you’re busy sniffing your own farts, but some of us are kind of in the dark.
“Same here. But I heard about that, sorry.” Shepard said with guilt in his voice.
“Ah so you did hear.” Anderson stated.
“Well we are engaged.” John quipped.
E: Oh for fuck’s sake, I will never understand the obsession this series has with the word “quip” Speaking of which. *BAM*
“Yeah.” she said smugly before her face turned to a guilty one. “It’s ok John I’ve done my part for the most of it.”
“It’s ok I’m just glad I bummed into you.”
As he said the he noticed a wave of her hand indicating that the JFU had a few ships in sol. They where just waiting.
E: WHAT!? What the fuck are they doing? Just hanging around holding their dicks? Not screaming “THE REAPERS ARE COMING!” or doing anything to help the Alliance? Nope! They’re just here to evacuate their beloved dictator.
“Me too.” she said making no other hand signals.
“Admiral.” the red haired officer said walking up to the three of them.
Anderson and Shepard became a little tense but followed the officer. As John walked passed Ash she nodded with a charming smile. Shepard did the same as he walked after Anderson.
James walked up next to the ex-marine and gave her a look.
“You know the commander?” he asked.
“I should do, we’re engaged after all.”
E: A note for all aspiring writers. You should only drop a bomb more than once when it is absolutely necessary. And if you have to, make it so that they occur farther than TEN LINES AWAY FROM EACH OTHER!
At that moment her omni-tool bleeped she opened up the screen. The message was in a language that Vega didn’t understand but Ash knew what it meant. She closed it down.
“Vega come with me.” she said sternly before walking off.
E: Wait you’re not in the Alliance, I don’t need to listen to you-
Even though she was no longer an officer he still followed her. As his own instincts told him something was up.
E: DA-HOY OK I FOLLOW MAIN CHARACTER!
Jane sat in the Normandy drinking her heart out. She started having nightmares about when she was captured and her sister. At first she was in denial about it all but only now the facts dawn on her. Now she could not spend a good night with out remembering the look on her sisters face or feeling those hot fresh tears.
E:…EP…when I said I wanted Jane’s rape explored…I WANTED YOU TO ACTUALLY FUCKING TRY! I mean really? This is all you have to offer? Jane remember the time she got raped and she got really sad and now she’s drinking? And some might say that’s an oversimplification but no, it’s actually an over complication because I actually included an element that wasn’t in there! That’s right, in a sentence designed to mock it, I included more of Jane’s backstory than EP did in an entire paragraph because he STILL REFUSES TO BRING UP THAT JANE WAS RAPED IN A MEANINGFUL WAY! All I can think of is all the awkward sexualization and sexualized humor in the Michael Bay Transformer’s films, because I’m pretty sure that’s where EP learned how to approach sex.
As she set down her glass and began to cry again. The workers occasionally glanced at her but when about their business as she told them to ‘fuck off’. She was allowed to stay on the Normandy as she had no home to go to.
E: Except an entire home galaxy where she’s royalty.
John dropped buy every now and again but she wanted to be alone. John maybe her brother but her sister was born along with her, her twin.
E: What’s her name again? EP. I’m asking you a question. What. Is. Her. Name? Because I don’t fucking see it anywhere.
Both of them where identical and that made them both feel unique. But now she’s dead Jane just felt alone and incomplete. At that moment her omni-tool bleeped but she just ignored it.
E: In a good story this would’ve been a character arc spanning multiple chapters, maybe even a sizable portion of the story. In From Another World it gets clumsily summarized in a few paragraphs. Because EP doesn’t tell a story, he talks about ideas he has. Half baked, inconsistent, stupid ass ideas. Back to John
Shepard an the others just saw a video transmission from London. Even from that short video made him grit his teeth. They where here and there was only one thing to do. He turned to the committee.
E: Ok, when two people have the same last name, you can’t refer to them by their last names.
“I have some thing to tell you.” he said drawing six small silver balls and dropped them on the floor.
Every one in the room turned to watch as the balls began to float. At that moment holograms of two humans, three new aliens and one Asari then appeared. Everyone just looked at the aliens in shock.
E:…You are honestly deciding that now is the best time? The Reapers are SECONDS away and you decided that NOW would be the best time to let the Alliance know that the parallel galaxy exists? What, oh brilliant Stu, made you think that this was a good idea. And how the fuck did you keep those silver balls when you were in prison?
“Shepard who are these people?” one of the committee members said.
“We are the remains of a government from another universe. Well the race I represent anyway.” Halyon said jokingly.
“Race… but… but your clearly human.” another committee member said that caused all six of the holograms to laugh.
E: Hahaha! Cultural barriers that we obviously would have to explain and now we are mocking them for not understanding within three seconds.
“Members of the committee the people you see before you despite appearances are not human. The ones who look human are known as the Tiberians and Exocrons.” Anderson said.
“The Tiberians are the race I am apart of.” John then said.
Now that shocked everyone but it explained a lot. But there was still scepticism in the room.
E: Because you can’t just drop that you are the representative of an alien empire from another galaxy and expect people
“Prove it.” a committee member said.
John drew his blade and cut his real arm. The wound he inflicted on himself healed almost immediately. Everyone’s eyes widened, and to prove the he wasn’t human Halyon made his eyes glow confirming what Anderson had told them. A few of them practically fainted but then the attention turned to the lone Asari.
E: Because glowing eyes and healing factor automatically equals alien. Let’s face it, everyone only swallows this bullshit because the narrative demands that they do. And no one, you know, asks questions. Questions about anything really. Like who are you people, what do you want with us, how long have you been watching us, just to name a few.
“If they’re from another reality why are you with them?”
“I am the voice of the Rachni.” she said with pride.
E: Oh great, ANOTHER massive bomb to be dropping on them. The race that nearly wiped out all intelligent life in the galaxy is back. And they’re working with another organization of races they’ve never heard of.
“All this is irrelevant. We need you to tell your soldiers to stop firing apon us.”
E: Alliance soldiers were firing on Union soldiers? First I’ve heard of it. Give those men medals. They know the true enemy when they see them.
The committee nodded and sent out the message. With that the holograms disappeared but before anyone could say anything a Reaper fell out of the sky. Everyone turned to watch their mouth wide open. Just them a red beam came from one of it’s tentacles.
E: That’s it? “Hi, we’re aliens, don’t shoot our guys, have fun with the Reapers?” What was the point of that Shepard?
“Move!” Shepard yelled but it was too late.
But it was too late the
N: Uh Ert, I think the DRD agents got caught in the crossfire between Manus and Shepard. It’s messy to say the least.
C: More like Shepard got thrown through the station again and the impact liquidized the agents.
beam it the tower and threw the committee table at John and Anderson who tried to run from it but it hit them and knocked both of them out.
E: Is there a name for when overpower characters dramatically faint when the story tries to shoehorn in tension?
Ash and Vega watched as the Reapers descended. Ash gritted her teeth.
“We’re done for.” Vega said.
Ash then tapped her temple and her holographic visor appeared over her eyes. James was too busy watching in awe at the Reapers.
“This is Knight Ashley calling the Kolveck launch package Williams 0-1.” she said.
“Copy launching.” the comm said.
E: We sit on our asses until the last second then come in and insist that we actually did something.
A light sped towards her fast and hit the pavement. The noise brought James out of his trance and make him look at a 9-foot cylindrical object. Ash approached it hand hit a few keys on it’s holopad the device then opened to reveal two set’s of weapons and a set of pink and white armour.
E: The woman’s armor is pink and white of course it is. It probably has little hearts all over it too, as well as Bratz stickers, a built in purse with rhinestones and an automatic lipstick dispenser. Also, this ship is close enough to Earth that it can drop a support pod accurately. That means it’s in atmosphere. How did Alliance surveillance not detect it?
Ash picked up the armour first and unclipped the back before she slid into it.
The armour then adjusted itself to fit her like a glove. James just watched amazed, Ash then took out two assault rifle looking weapons and threw one to James. She did the same with the sniper rifles. James just looked at the weapons that Ash gave him.
“Lets go.” she said before walking off.
E: Yeah, a set of armor and four rifles. Now we’re ready to stop the Reapers.
“Shepard!” Anderson yelled.
Shepard woke as he saw Anderson came up towards him fast. Fully awake now he yelled in pain as something felt wrong with his.
“Shepard are yo…” Anderson trailed off as he saw John’s arm. “Shepard your arm it’s…”
John looked at him arm to find it dislocated. Gritting his teeth he got up and looked at David.
“You may want to look away.” he said. “What I’m about to do is disturbing.”
E: I know you’re an Admiral with lots of combat reasons, but for no reason I’m going to treat you like a fresh recruit. Seriously, someone relocating their shoulder would be child’s play to Anderson. Christ, I’ve read about it happening in a children’s book for the love of God.
Anderson just nodded and turned around. John took hold of his shoulder, closed his eyes and jerked his shoulder forward yelling in pain as he did so. There was an audible crack and his arm was corrected. David turned to John once again, now understanding why he was told to look away.
“Did you just…”
“Yep. But that doesn’t make it any less painful.”
E: I guess that was supposed to be “badass”. Not feeling it.
Nodding Anderson handed John a spare pistol and both of them made there way onto the outside structure. They watched for a few moments as Reapers descended from the sky. They looked at each other before moving to the next rooftop. As soon as they did Shepard used his comm.
E: I would just like to point out that the most feared things in the galaxy started their invasion of the human homeworld in that last sentence. YOU THINK IT MAYBE COULD’VE BEEN DESCRIBED A LITTLE MORE?
“Ash do you read me?” he yelled.
“John I’m with Vega, we’re heading to the Normandy but we have ran into some resistance. But we’re moving.” Ash said.
E: Resistance in the form of too lazy to explain.
As John and David rounded a corner and crossed the roof to a nearby apartment. The door to it was locked but before they could open it a moan sounded. They both looked to the edge of the building where four human husks emerged. But these husks where armoured and had weapons in place of their right arms. The husk’s aimed and fired. Their weapons fired out a barrage of laser fire. Shepard covered Anderson as the laser bolts flew toward them. The bolts hit Shepard’s shields that somehow did not absorb the bolts. The lasers it the Prince in multiple places. He screamed as he felt the burns.
E: He’s hurt but it will not hurt his ability to fight, nor will the Husks having this advanced new technology cause any major changes in the plot EP is copying and pasting. I assure you. Also, could you get anymore vague and bare bones? Multiple places? Like where? As far as I’m concerned he just got shot in the dick.
Anderson took aim with his pistol and fired at the Husks but the rounds bounced off the shells.
“Shit.” he whispered.
The Husks stopped firing and approached the two slowly.
E: They stopped firing because reasons.
“This is Shepard… ordnance priority level one, deploy my location.” John said as he collapsed to his knees.
Just then a large cylindrical object flew from the sky. The Husks turned to see it but they failed to move in time and where crushed by the object. Anderson just looked at the device as he walked over to it.
E: Because support pods can be fired with such accuracy that they double as kinetic rounds. Because reasons. You know…unless the ship dropping this things are right above the Husks, I think the Husks would have time to move.
“Shepard?” he asked.
“Weapon and shield upgrades for us.” John replied.
E: That’s right, fuck you suspense! EP wants his Stu power!
Aderson then opened the device to find two assault rifle looking weapons, two pistols, two shield generators as well as several green cylinders. He took the cylinders ran over to Shepard and injected one into him. John’s wounds then healed fast but left scars on his body.
E: I love how Anderson injected Shepard with some substance that he had never seen before. Shepard never said anything about the pod having medicine, he could’ve injected him with poison for all he knew. Oh and look at that, Stupard’s wounds are gone already. And what the fucking is “assault rifle looking”.
John then got up with Anderson helped him up.
“Yeah I’ll be fine.” John said before activating his comm. “Shepard to all unit’s be careful Reaper forces have upgraded with lasers and heavy armour.”
E Uh, Commander, the shit is “heavy armor” supposed to mean? Were we supposed to be under the impression that they were only use light infantry?
After a quick pat down to make sure his wounds where healed they then moved over to the device and replaced their weapons and shields. A Reaper then fired in their direction as it tried to hit a frigate above the two. The door unlocked and both of then went through.
E: That bit with the frigate sure added a lot. *Rolls eyes*
Ahead was another locked door. Shepard walked over to it and opened it with some difficulty. Normally he could open it with ease but the damage due to the lasers made it quite weak.
E: He’s totally weak! He can’t open a super tough door as easily as he used to be able to! See!? He’s not a Stu!
Anderson when through the gap. Shepard was about to follow but a noise detracted him. Letting go of the door he walked over to an office space before he heard a clunk. Looking around he then spotted a air vent he walked over to it before crouching down. Inside was the child who was playing on the rooftop earlier.
E: *Draws pistol* YOU FUCK! YOU RUINED MASS EFFECT!
G: *Peeks head in*
E:…Gotta be better than Goeth. Gotta be better than fucking Goeth.
“Hey.” he said.
“Everyone’s dieing.” the boy said.
“Come on I can help.”
“You can’t help… no one can help.”
Shepard was about to argue but the sound of a Reaper made him look to see one walk by. He then turned to see that the child was gone.
E: This is turning into fucking connect the dots. Rooftop fight because it was in the game, Shepard opening the door because it was in the game, Shepard talks to the kid because it was in the game. Except EP is rushing through them, rarely bothering to put in anything more than the dialogue from the game before moving onto the next bit. It’s soulless and pathetic frankly.
“Shepard.” Anderson said getting the commanders attention. “This way.”
Shepard looked inside the vent once again but there was no sign of the child. As he got up he hear a voice saying ‘brother’.
E: This jackass is popping up again? Is he like one of those people that obsessively follows the “cool kids” everywhere they go in the vain hopes that he can become one of them? Because so far he’s added dicks to the story.
Guessing it was his imagination
E: Rule one. It is NEVER your imagination. Evil Overlord rule number 139. If I’m sitting in my camp, hear a twig snap, start to investigate, then encounter a small woodland creature, I will send out some scouts anyway just to be on the safe side. (If they disappear into the foliage, I will not send out another patrol; I will break out the napalm.)
he followed Anderson through the door. The next few room had caved in and David was moving some of the debris out of the way. John helped.
E: Again, really vague, so I’m gonna fill in the blanks. He helped by oiling Anderson’s muscular abs. Back to Ash and Vega
Ash and Vega made it to the alliance shipyard but the entrance was inaccessible. Thankfully the roof provided an alternative entrance. They where about to enter when two loud bangs sounded above them. Looking up they saw two angular objects heading towards them. Vega aimed but Ash placed her hand on his gun lowering it for him.
E: Yeah, you shoot that object falling out of the sky at who knows how fast. You’ll be able to hit it.
The objects landed with a thud. Once the dust cleared two pods stood there before opening. One of the people that walked out. He stood at around 7 foot with two large axe’s. The second stood 6 foot with a metal stick in hand. As they moved up next to Ash and Vega they saluted.
E: Ok first of all, seven feet tall? Is he the fucking Mountain that rides? Second, axes? I know EP has a pretentious fairy tale fetish, but you think on a modern battlefield you could free up one hand for some form of firearm.
“Knight Williams we where ordered by our Capitan to provide assistance.” the larger one of the two said.
“Well that’s good but what’s the delay with JFU support?” Ash asked.
“When the Reapers entered system they must have had some kind of emp bomb or emp weapon. It disrupted all JFU ship systems.” the 6 foot one said. “But we have nearly resolved the problem.”
E: Another weak ass explanation as to why the Union has to let the plot of the games play out. And question, how come the Reapers didn’t just sweep in and blow the Union ships to Hell? And how did they get an EMP weapon that disabled Union ships when their tech is supposed to be a rip off of Union tech? AND A BOMB IS A WEAPON EP!
“Good come on let’s go.”
As Anderson and Shepard came out of the rubble they tried to contact Ashley but the communication was garbled. Thankfully Anderson said that he saw a gunship crash nearby and the beacon could be used to contact the Normandy. Agreeing Shepard moved on ahead. As they moved onto a glass building a Dreadnought was firing on a reaper but as it fired its main weapon it exploded.
E: Erm…wow. I thought the Union was staffed by idiots, but apparently the Alliance can’t even make a dreadnought without it exploding when it tries to open fire. that’s pretty bad.
The shock-wave shattered the glass that Anderson and Shepard were on. They slid downwards to the riverside.
E: What glass and what riverside? ESTABLISH SHIT EP!
There was part of the crashed gunship and two wounded troopers. One of them however had his legs under some rubble.
“Hold still.” Shepard said as he moved up to the frame and lifted it freeing the marine.
E: WHAT FRAME!? Oh for God’s sake. This story could be taking place in an empty void for all I know.
Just then a loud roar sounded and all four of them looked to the sky. An angular ship with a long neck entered the atmosphere. It was very large as it came down but it stopped over the river. The Reapers that where closer to it took aim at the ship and fired. The beams it the shields and Shepard smiled.
E: The beams did what now to the shields? Was that sexual in nature? I’m not sure but knowing EP.
“ALERT ALERT ALL UNITS TO BATTLE STATIONS!” the siren yelled.
E: The siren that suddenly exists.
Tiberian, Aqualt, Tolashner and Exocron soldiers ran through the ship weapons and armour the hanger bay several squads of Tiberians and Tolashnears stood as the door opened.
E: So just for the record, the soldiers ran through the ships weapons and armor, the hanger bay and several other squads of soldiers. I don’t think that’s standard military procedure. That would damage important systems.
The squad stepped forward. The Tiberians stood in armour that was white and had wings on it. The leader stepped forward a staff weapon in hand.
E: Wings on the ass.
“FOR THE HOMEWORLD!” she yelled.
“FOR THE HOMEWORLD AND HER COLONYS!” the soldiers behind her yelled.
E: The Tiberium homeworld has colonies? I would find that hard to imagine considering that the species has a population of a million. And why are all the other species calling out for someone else’s homeworld?
They then ran off the hanger and jumped off as they fell four points came out of there back packs. Just then an orange hexagonal grid formed between them. After it was completed they flew across the sky.
E: Technology that will never be explained or explored again.
Back on the ship everyone else claimed into pods and where launched into the streets. The tanks and other vehicles they had soon followed. The war had begun.
E: The war has been going for some time you pricks.
The four saw this, the three humans just stared in awe while John just smiled.
E: It’s a single ship. It isn’t going to do anything to stop the invasion of hundreds if not thousands of Reapers. EP stop jerking off the Union by having people stare in awe every time they scratch their asses.
At that moment several shots from another island made them take cover. Popping up John could see a large read beast that looked like it used to be Batarian. David and John fired at it as the marines took cover. The laser bolts flew and it the Batarian husk it took half their ammo but it managed to take it down.
E: He stole their ammo? Well that was rude of them.
Just then several more Batarian husks then took up the corpse and ate part of it. The others did the same. Shepard and Anderson felt sick to their stomachs as they witnessed it.
E: Mr “I ate a Thresher Maw and a Varren” feels sick to his stomach? Spare me.
But they then gritted their teeth and fired at these ‘cannibals’. It wasn’t long before they needed to reload.
But that would have taken took long so Shepard lobbed a grenade at the cannibals.
E: GUH WHY GUN NO RELOAD FASTER!
The hi-explosive grenade detonated almost killing the cannibal’s but the floor underneath them fell into the river.
E: Almost killing? So…
A large building frame then fell into the water as well allowing John and David to cross. They moved across where the cannibals once where and moved fast across the pontoon to the crashed gunship.
Anderson moved up to the beacon and activated it while John looked out.
“This is Admiral Anderson, Normandy do you read?” Anderson half yelled.
“Admiral it’s Joker we have a lock on you ETA 5 minuets.” Joker said over the comm.
E: We could catch a ride on that Union starship, but fuck it. Let us follow the plot of the games mindlessly.
“INCOMING!” John yelled as several husks and cannibals came into sight.
E: Cannibals ARE Husks!
They both took cover and started taking pot-shots at the Reaper forces. But as the husks fell the cannibal’s ate the corpse’s making them hard to kill. They where running out of ammo fast.
E: Any reason John can’t use his bullshit magical powers? Or did the plot fairy take them away for drama?
The final laser bolts hit a cannibal in the head. It fell into the sea. They had no grenades left just then a rumble and the buildings in front of them exploded.
A large blue snake with glowing vain’s emerged from the ground. And roared that shook everything.
“We are royally screwed.” John said.
E: Thank you for adding nothing of value to the story John. Why don’t you just be more blunt and say “We appear to be in a less than ideal situation but we will be rescued at the last second.”
Anderson just agreed. As the Reaper forces approached the sound of metal on metal sounded and just then two Valmachs appeared and opened fired at the husks and cannibals while another two used jet packs and attacked the snake. As the Valmachs fort back the Reapers the Normandy appeared and made it’s way to Anderson and Shepard.
E: Oh, ok. No one told me last chapter that apparently giant mechs are good at SNEAKING UP ON PEOPLE. Then again I’ve heard of more bullshit things.
The cargo bay ramp opened and Shepard ran towards it as Ashley and two Tiberian troopers appeared. He then jumped and landed on the Normandy.
“Welcome back John.” Ash said.
“Good to be back.” John replied.
E: Such thrilling dialogue. By the standards of planks of wood. Seriously, there is no life to anything that anyone says. It’s just dry boring drivel that serves to connect one scene to another. Poorly.
“Shepard.” Anderson called. “I’m staying those marines back there, there’s going to be a lot more. My place is here yours is with your people.”
“Anderson we’re in this together.”
E: I have to pull an old AT4W clip for this one. Just replace Batman with Shepard and you’ll get my point.
“Yes we are.” just then the Admiral was interrupted by a Kodiak flying by. “But you need to lead your people while I stay here and take out the Reapers here.” he then took out a set of dog tags and threw them at Shepard.
E: Those tags were supposed to signify Anderson giving Shepard his old rank back in game. he doesn’t do that here, so this is pointless.
John caut them and looked at Anderson. “I’ll come back with reinforcement’s. So don’t you dare die on me old man.”
Anderson just laughed out loud before saluting. “Good luck.”
the Normandy then took off. As it started to move into the upper atmosphere Shepard saw three Kodiak’s getting civilians on them. One of those people was that boy.
E: Not the boy he saw in the vents, not the boy that he had tried to help, not even the boy he had met earlier. Just “that boy”
As a reaper approached the boy climbed onto one of the Kodiak’s before taking off with another Kodiak. But they did not get far as a Reaper shot them down.
John looked away as rage built up in him.
E: I’m angry. honest.
The Normandy then sped away from earth. As it did a man in black just smiled as he saw the Normandy sped away.
“Yes brother our time will come soon.” he said.
E: Oh will you just get out in the open and tell us your stupid backstory already? Just get it over with. Well that just about sums it up with-
N: Hey Ert, how’s it going?
E: Wow. He didn’t even leave a scratch on you two.
C: That’s because he didn’t actually fight us. I wish I could say otherwise. He seemed content with just wailing on this guy. *Pulls Shepard in*
E: Christ, he looks even worse than the last time Manus thrashed him. Well, we should move the station if he knows where we are again.
N: On it. *Pushes button* What? *Pushes button again* Oh you have got to be shitting me.
C: The engines are damaged. Completely gutted. It looks like he hit them directly with a blast of energy when Shepard was fighting him.
N: Son of a bitch! This was his plan all along! He didn’t want to kill us! He didn’t even want to kill Shepard! He just wanted to cripple us so we can’t run! Now he can bring his entire army down on top of us! *Glares at Shepard* You really fucked us this time asshole.
S: I…can’t lose. I can’t be defeated. I am the prince.
C: He’s helpless. So what now? Do we abandon ship? Maybe rig the place to blow?
E: If we do, we’ll be on the run without any resources. For now we should try and fix the ship, and fortify it if we can’t.
N: I’ll call Goeth and the others back. If they haven’t found a White Lantern by now then they won’t be able to in time.
C: I suppose Princey avoids execution for the moment. Just great. Well, back to the hospital. *Drags Shepard out*
E: Nora…can I ask you a question?
N: Aside from that one I assume?
E: Not now.
N: Yeah, shoot.
E: Are we in a really bad spot?
N: Ert. I’m not gonna lie to you. It’s about as bad as it gets.