533: Kawaii Desu Vampire Sexy – Chapters 7 & 8

Title: Kawaii Desu Vampire Sexy
Author: twilightlover4eva
Topic: mostly Twilight
Media: Book/Movie
Genre: none listed
URL: Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Critiqued by Ghostcat

WARNING: CONTAINS MATURE CONTENT, INCLUDING SEXUAL ASSAULT. THOSE SENSITIVE TO SUCH SUBJECT MATTERS ARE ADVISED TO SKIP THIS RIFF.

Howdy-do, delighted Patrons! I’ve returned to my usual effervescent self and brought another pair of chapters with me! Aren’t you overjoyed?

Let’s hit the high-points, such as they were, from the last two chapters before we slog forward. Edward and Lola McSluttypants had tons of sex and smoked pot before playing the worst game of Scrabble ever. They discovered via the PCC-provided Scrabble board that Jacob, who is both Leslie’s brother and the son of Satan, placed a curse on them so that they would … have sex. :flips through notes: Yeah, I have no idea why he’d do that either, but whatever. Using the single brain cell they share between them, the two decide to go kill Jacob and gathered a laundry list of various weaponry before getting distracted by Pokemon and then killing Jacob. So he’s probably dead now.

On to the chapters!

Read the rest of this entry »