234: Control – Chapter Fifteen, Part One

Title: Control
Author: Jckash03 (Now permanently referred to as Jackass)
Media: Television / Movie
Topic: Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Suspense / Romance
URL: Control – Chapter Fifteen
Critiqued by Lyle
Submitted by Blessed8be

Hello, everyone!  A few observant readers may have noticed that it’s Saturday, not Monday.  FPM and I are switching update days due to our personal schedules conflicting with the update deadlines.  Hopefully this hasn’t caused any undue confusion.

With that said, welcome back to “Control,” a DBZ fic that begs the question:

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot?

Things have gone from mildly intolerable to downright freakish in the last fourteen chapters.  There’s some sort of bizarre ‘ho vibe floating around Bra that makes everyone desperately want to bone her, even though she’s only a squicky thirteen years old.

Last we gathered, Gohan ran away from home after throwing a tantrum.  We discovered that Gohan equates dirty thoughts with cheating on your spouse, Goku apparently has been having naughty ideas regarding Bra, and Vegeta is still a douche bag, but he’s a douche bag that loves his very dysfunctional family.  The last thing we saw was that Bra is going to be home schooled, a move that is probably a much better idea than allowing her out in public.  Her teacher is an android known as 17, the brother of 18 (Marron’s mother).  He asks her to call him “Authority” in Japanese, because Jackass does not understand Japanese.

I’m going to do my best to behave myself today, too.  *sets Harry on the shelf*  For science!

Let’s get to it!  We’re in for a long haul today.

Read the rest of this entry »

228: Control – Chapter Fourteen, Part Two

Title: Control
Author: Jckash03 (Now permanently referred to as Jackass)
Media: Television / Movie
Topic: Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Suspense / Romance
URL: Control – Chapter Fourteen
Critiqued by Lyle
Submitted by Blessed8be

Hello again!  Welcome back to chapter fourteen of the DBZ fic called “Control” where nothing seems to make a whole lot of fucking sense.  At.  All.  Especially with regards to canon.  Double-especially with regards to real-life happenings like crime investigation.  Let’s sum-up what we saw during the first half of this chapter then we’ll move along.

Gohan has a hissy-fit about having to raise his brother and take care of his mom, thus preventing – in his mind – him from being able to achieve his full potential.  Nevermind that he has a Ph.D.  They totally held him back.  Trunks meets with Mr. Officer, who probably hails from the same CSI training as Mr. Khaki Suit for how well he knows how to do his job.  Trunks denies knowing anything about the death of Marron but later admits to Bulma that he did kill her.  This has no effect on Bulma but to berate her son and daughter – who is absent from this conversation – for ruining Bulma and Vegeta’s marriage.  The fic officially turns into a poorly scripted episode of “Days of Our Lives.”  All we need now is for someone to fall into a coma for a few chapters and miraculously pull through, falling madly in love with their doctor, who just happens to be their sister’s husband’s more attractive twin brother.  And he’ll talk with an Australian accent for not reason but because it’s “hawt.”

Read the rest of this entry »

217: Control – Chapter Fourteen, Part One

Title: Control
Author: Jckash03 (Now permanently referred to as Jackass)
Media: Television / Movie
Topic: Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Suspense / Romance
URL: Control – Chapter Fourteen
Critiqued by Lyle
Submitted by Blessed8be

Howdy!  Today we’re going to tackle Chapter Fourteen of the brain-numbing, squicky (hehe, spell-check wants to change that to “Bisquick”), hurf-inducing fic known as “Control.”  I hope you’re ready; I sure as hell aren’t.

Last time we met, Bulma received some inappropriate pictures of Bra, who was – ironically – wearing nothing but her underwear.  This led to a huge conflab between Vegeta and Gohan, whom Vegeta blamed for taking the photographs.  Bra continues to be a little shit-head and every adult in the fic continues to be about as dumb as a shopping cart.  I think that about sums it up.

Before we begin, I’m going to announce that I’m doing things a little differently this time.  I’m going to listen to my Pandora radio station, which is filled with a mix of soothing, groovy, laidback, and upbeat music (it ranges from Adele to Mumford and Sons to Michael Bublé to Frank Sinatra).  Let’s see what sort of effect this has on me when riffing this piece of bat guano.  Perhaps I’ll be nicer.  Get out your observation notebooks, class.  This is science!

Read the rest of this entry »