Well, dear Patrons, I’m back with :sigh: yet another chapter of Twitanic madness. We’ve gone past the shark-jump point, people – it only gets stupider from here.
To my utter amazement, there were actual events in the last chapter! Edward has decided on a hands-off approach to dealing with his new-found family and Carlisle has announced his intentions to take both Anna-Bella and Rose back with them to California whether they want to go or not. The rest of the Cullen clan then joined Edward and Carlisle in New York, making the entire “living in Santa Monica” portion of the plot completely pointless, and told them about the Alaskan “wolfs” that the Magic Alice Ball detected. These “wolfs” want to make war on the clan for some reason, probably due to Jack’s conversion to the Sparkle Side. (Which they would have no logical reason to know about.)
Just to add a cherry to the chapter, Anna-Bella rushes over to Chez Cullen after the rest of the clan arrives to inform them that Rose has been abducted by Cal, the man who thinks Rose is dead yet somehow located and kidnapped her in an event that I’m sure will be explained at some point.
Sorry, that’s been happening a lot. To the fic!
Title: True Grit II: A new journey
Topic: True Grit (2010)
URL: True Grit II: A new journey Chapter 1
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck
Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back to more snarking adventures. This time, I’m going to take a look at a two-shot that so far looks kind of abandoned.
I’m going to start this snarking by asking you this question: do you remember the Coen Brothers remake of True Grit? How awesome it was, with Jeff Bridges and Hailee Steinfeld giving some really great performances? Yeah, that was an awesome movie, wasn’t it? But the best part? Its story was self-contained. And not only that, but it was also a pretty dark story too. The original True Grit could be called a revisionist Western, but the remake? Holy hell… a girl loses part of her arm, it ends with a central character dead, the main character ends up not achieving happiness after her revenge, and the movie ended on a rather grim tone—which did actually match the tone the rest of the movie had.
Of course, this is why we were totally asking for a pointless fanfic sequel with a Mary Sue spotlighting the supporting character that the author has the hots for. To be fair, I would have the hots for LaBeouf too (I mean, c’mon, he’s played by Matt Damon), but let’s not concentrate on that.
So… Yeah. That should be all I have to say going into this, but… let’s just dig right in.
Title: resident evil:reborn
Insane Doctor The Insane Shadow Hunter and JudgementDragon25
Media: Video Game / Movie
Topic: As many video games as you can shake a stick at, and The Land Before Time
Genre: None listed, and really, it’s hard to categorize such fail
URL: resident evil:reborn – Chapter Two
Critiqued by TacoMagic
Last week we were treated to some undiluted random badassery in order to introduce Wesker as the new Awesome McEvil of the fic. Samantha came back to life with the magic of Nemesis, but otherwise not much happened.
So let’s just jump right in and see what chapter two takes us.
(location umbrella’s secret base)
Hello once more, wonderous Patrons!
In the last pile of ponderous nothing I laid before you, not much happened. There was more conversation between Edward, Carlisle, and Rose – now with the added “excitement” of Anna-Bella, who probably still has no idea what’s going on. There was then a mid-chapter jump over to James (Transitions? What are those?) who impulsively decided to rummage through the attic and pulled out a few fragments of Edward’s back story that I’m still having trouble believing. There was then yet another unexplained hop over to Jack, where the Magic Alice Ball predicted an attack by Alaskan “wolfs”, prompting the clan of supernaturally strong sparklepires (who have plenty of time to set up a defense and nearly unlimited resources to throw into the project) to run away like scared children.
If the fic follows formula, this chapter will either pick up exactly where the last one ended, or there will be a sudden and unexplained scene shift to another location and/or character.
Title: Their Mockingjay
Topic: The Hunger Games
URL: Their Mockingjay
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck
Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back to the Library. Well, what would you know, but my first Hunger Games fic here at the library is in fact a oneshot. Who figured?
And yes, I like the Hunger Games books. Do they have things that don’t work? Sure. But the things that do work far outweigh those that don’t, and I like how Katniss is as a character, being strong and independent but also having her insecurities. I quite like the character of Katniss Everdeen, as she actually is a fairly well-written female character.
So it kind of annoys me when people totally miss the characterization she has in the books. As this fic does. Well, aside from one other pretty big thing, anyhow.
With that said, let’s get started.