433: My Immortal – Chapter Five
Posted: April 15, 2013 Filed under: Harry Potter, My Immortal | Tags: Angst, Book, Harry Potter, Lyle, Movie, Romance 13 Comments »Title: My Immortal
Author: Tara (reposted by TheJadedDolphin)
Media: Book / Movie
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Romance / angst
URL: My Immortal – Chapter Five
Critiqued by Lyle
Well, hello there! Today we’re going to go over the fifth chapter of “My Immortal.” On the last episode, Draco and Emo-Elebenty-Sue the 4th were having sex on a tree. At least, I think that’s what they were doing. Considering Tara couldn’t bring herself to use terminology more intelligent than what a 6th grader would have used, it’s hard to know exactly what they were up to. A rage-faced Dumbledore shows up out of nowhere and calls them Motherfuckers. With that, let’s jump right into the next installment.
428: My Immortal – Chapter Four
Posted: April 8, 2013 Filed under: Harry Potter, My Immortal | Tags: Angst, Book, Harry Potter, Lyle, Movie, Romance 6 Comments »Title: My Immortal
Author: Tara (reposted by TheJadedDolphin)
Media: Book / Movie
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Romance / angst
URL: My Immortal – Chapter Four
Critiqued by Lyle
Good morning, Patrons! It’s time for the fourth chapter of “My Immortal.” Last time, Elebenty-Names went on a date with Draco to see Good Charlotte and Simple Plan perform in Hogsmeade. They flew the five minute drive in a car that Draco would never actually care to own, did some drugs, jumped up and down like bunnies, drank, and then flew into the Forbidden Forest. Somewhere in all that, our endearing Mary Sue admitted that she liked Draco and bad-mouthed Hillary Duff. If you’ve missed the first three chapters, you really haven’t missed a lot.
The re-publishers of this story, TheJadedDolphin, have included a note at the beginning that I’ll leave here for you in place of making my own.
Publisher’s Note: WARNING: This Chapter contains Tara’s idea of a lemon, so if you are not mature enough to handle this, skip it. You decide.
Oh dear… I can tell this is going to be a great chapter. For those following along at home, I have never read this before and am literally critiquing it as I read it for the very first time. I can’t wait to find out what Tara’s idea of a lemon is. Let’s party!
420: My Immortal – Chapter Three
Posted: March 25, 2013 Filed under: Harry Potter, My Immortal | Tags: Angst, Book, Harry Potter, Lyle, Movie, Romance 9 Comments »Title: My Immortal
Author: Tara (reposted by TheJadedDolphin)
Media: Book / Movie
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Romance / angst
URL: My Immortal – Chapter Three
Critiqued by Lyle
Well, hello there! Welcome back to “My Immortal,” the age-old story of love, loss, and fishnet stockings. The last time we met, Ebony McSuepants gave us a walk-through of her average morning, more wardrobe prOn, and then yelled about how much she does not like Draco Malfoy. Then he invites her to go see Good Charlotte with him and suddenly she can’t breathe. Gripping, isn’t it? Let’s get into chapter three and find out what happens! The lukewarm suspense, it mildly tingles somewhat unpleasantly.
This chapter contains references to cutting, so if you’re sensitive to this, please be forewarned. I care about you, my dear readers. Group hug!
415: My Immortal – Chapter Two
Posted: March 18, 2013 Filed under: Harry Potter, My Immortal | Tags: Angst, Book, Harry Potter, Lyle, Movie, Romance 7 Comments »Title: My Immortal
Author: Tara (reposted by TheJadedDolphin)
Media: Book / Movie
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Romance / angst
URL: My Immortal – Chapter Two
Critiqued by Lyle
Hello again! Welcome back to my take-down of the classic, “My Immortal.” On the last episode, we discovered that our heroine is an Emo-Sue-Vampire-Witch named Ebony Whatsist KaboomyPants the Third, or something similarly ridiculous. I lost interest after her first name, to tell you the truth. She wants to be related to a musician she has the hots for and walks around looking like a 2-dollar hooker. That about sums up the last chapter. Let’s get started!
410: My Immortal – Chapter One
Posted: March 11, 2013 Filed under: Harry Potter, My Immortal | Tags: Angst, Book, Harry Potter, Lyle, Movie, Romance 8 Comments »Title: My Immortal
Author: Tara (reposted by TheJadedDolphin)
Media: Book / Movie
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Romance / angst
URL: My Immortal – Chapter One
Critiqued by Lyle
Hello! I know, I know, it’s been a really long-ass time (a long ass-time?) since I’ve been here. It’s been a difficult road that I’ve walked lately and I won’t be getting into any detail as it’s neither funny nor entertaining to hear what I’ve been up to. That said, let’s get to something a lot more amusing: The famously epic “My Immortal.”
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