256: Slaying Forks – Chapter Five, Part Two
Posted: May 30, 2012 | Author: TacoMagic | Filed under: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Slaying Forks, Slaying Forks, Twilight | Tags: Adventure, Book, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Supernatural, TacoMagic, Television, Twilight | 7 Comments »Title: Slaying Forks: Bella’s Becoming
Author: Spike Xander’s Drink
Media: TV Show
Topic: Buffy the Vampire Slayer X Twilight
Genre: “Adventure/Supernatural”
URL: Slaying Forks – Chapter Five
Critiqued by TacoMagic
Welcome back to the second part of the fifth chapter of Slaying Forks: Bella’s Becoming, wherein Bella became a slayer 5-ish years ago.
Last time we joined Tiger as he interacted with Drusila, Vi, and his future self in order to provide the audience with some mind-numbingly vague foreshadowing. He then went on to interact with a few ghosts of key characters from the Buffy universe that were dragged into the service of The Powers That Be. Presumably this service will involve copious amounts of fawning over Bella. From there we followed Tiger on his first day of High School. He’s going to high school as part of his cover story so that he can [information missing]. Unfortunately he forgot to think up a cover story, so things get awkward pretty fast. We left off last time with Tiger indicating that he liked Boys, Bella, some other crap, and singing.
If you want a recap on the whole story, I suggest you check out the summary blob in part one.
250: Slaying Forks – Chapter Five, Part One
Posted: May 23, 2012 | Author: TacoMagic | Filed under: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Slaying Forks, Slaying Forks, Twilight | Tags: Adventure, Book, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Supernatural, TacoMagic, Television, Twilight | 5 Comments »Title: Slaying Forks: Bella’s Becoming
Author: Spike Xander’s Drink
Media: TV Show
Topic: Buffy the Vampire Slayer X Twilight
Genre: “Adventure/Supernatural”
URL: Slaying Forks – Chapter Five
Critiqued by TacoMagic
Oh, dear readers, do I have a treat for you today! Spike Xander’s Drink (SXD) has added a fifth chapter to Slaying Forks! And, it’s just as good as the previous chapters.
It’s been a while so let’s recap. Bella is really the best slayer of all time, but she lost two friends, only one of which was important enough to have a name. Distraught by this loss, she quickly honors their memory the best way she can: she gives up the battle against evil so that she can run off to Forks, Washington and play groin tennis with a sparkling douchsilo. Four years later the Slayer Organization discovers a giant hellmouth under Forks, as evidenced by the single vampire who wanders into town and lays the smack-down on the entire population of resident mythical creatures. Luckily Bella is there to single-handedly defeat the vampire. As it turns out, the vampire had already killed somebody and was chasing the victim’s daughter, Karrie. Fortunately, Karrie’s exposure to the gruesome, bloody murder of her mother is taken in stride and she quickly joins Bella’s entourage of worshipers. A kid named Tiger shows up a bit later to deliver some exposition about the hellmouth and the arrival of some key people from the Buffy show/comic. At that point the gay pride parade storms through the fic leaving a naked, besotted werewolf, Seth, in its wake. From there Bella treats us to a hugely boring flashback of the day she become slayer, which isn’t really important to the plot at all, so just pretend it doesn’t happen. After that, Bella hems and haws about calling in some help. This tension is quickly defused by the universal understanding and forgiveness of everyone she abandoned. We last left Slaying Forks when a future version of Tiger arrives in the past to deliver some dire news about their future… as big damn heroes.
We join chapter 5 already in progress…
118: Slaying Forks – Chapter Four, Part 2
Posted: December 14, 2011 | Author: TacoMagic | Filed under: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Slaying Forks, Slaying Forks, Twilight | Tags: Adventure, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Cross-Over, TacoMagic, Television, Twilight | 4 Comments »Title: Slaying Forks: Bella’s Becoming
Author: Spike Xander’s Drink
Media: TV Show
Topic: Buffy the Vampire Slayer X Twilight
Genre: “Adventure/Supernatural”
URL: Slaying Forks – Chapter Four
Critiqued by TacoMagic
Read the rest of this entry »
113: Slaying Forks – Chapter Four, Part 1
Posted: December 7, 2011 | Author: TacoMagic | Filed under: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Slaying Forks, Slaying Forks, Twilight | Tags: Adventure, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Cross-Over, TacoMagic, Television, Twilight | 7 Comments »Title: Slaying Forks: Bella’s Becoming
Author: Spike Xander’s Drink
Media: TV Show
Topic: Buffy the Vampire Slayer X Twilight
Genre: “Adventure/Supernatural”
URL: Slaying Forks – Chapter Four
Critiqued by TacoMagic
Well hello again, gentle readers! Do I have a treat for you today or what! Spike Xander’s Drink (SXD) has lovingly provided us with a fourth chapter to Slaying Forks: Bella’s Becoming! And I can’t seem to stop shouting in excitement! Help! I keep shouting! WHY AM I STILL SHOUTING?! IT WON’T STOP!
*We are experiencing technical difficulties, please wait*
As I was saying, with the release of chapter four, I decided it would be remiss of me to not tear it apart for you, our readers. It’s like we care! And we show it by shoveling virtual cow dung onto your computer monitors. Aren’t we nice?
So, to sum up the first three chapters: Bella is a slayer, the “best evah!1!” in fact. After her friends, what’s-her-name and no-name, die, she douchbandons all the world to slow depopulation at the hands of demons and vampires, and then rationalizes it with faulty logic. She has one of the most boring flashbacks ever where the high point is her making a large meal for her mother. After that, she goes all gay pride when one of the Werewolves (Sam) goes for a nude sprint. Oh and there is a random girl named Karrie whose mother was eaten. Without much else to do with her life now that her mom is dead, Karrie decides to move in with the Cullens and spend her days worshipping Bella. There were some other details in there, but since the entire story is largely unimportant I’m having trouble separating out anything that might be plot for you all.
89: Slaying Forks – Chapter Three, Part Two
Posted: November 9, 2011 | Author: TacoMagic | Filed under: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Slaying Forks, Slaying Forks, Twilight | Tags: Book, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Cross-Over, Movie, TacoMagic, Television, Twilight | 7 Comments »Title: Slaying Forks: Bella’s Becoming
Author: Spike Xander’s Drink
Media: TV Show
Topic: Buffy the Vampire Slayer X Twilight
Genre: “Adventure/Supernatural”
URL: Slaying Forks – Chapter Three
Critiqued by TacoMagic
Welcome back to the 6th and final installment of Slaying Forks: Bella’s Becoming. Join me today as we finish up the turdy, train-wreck of a fic.
Last time on Slaying Forks Bella had spent some time on the balcony being all angsty and self-pitying while Jazz did his best to fuel her pyre of self-martyrdom. A random boy shows up, delivers a nice helping of exposition, and takes off. Oh, and apparently Seth is gay. His gayosity apparently causes him to tear off into the forest in the buff. Bella delivers some smack-down to Seth’s homophobic pack-mates “then ran the way Seth ran,” which is to say she ran off naked like a crazy person.
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