E: *Head desk head desk head desk*
G: You holding up there champ?
E: Just fine. Just trying to *head desk* pound these memories out. Say, where’d all the ladies go?
G: Out hunting down the last place Stupard said that the violet ring was. After that, we should have all of them.
E: You know, if you hadn’t attacked all of the lantern corps, ALL OF THEM, we wouldn’t be in this mess!
G: Ah come on, you can’t deny we had a good time!
E: I puked up red plasma and I nearly committed genocide!
G: Good times.
E: Egh. Let’s just get on with it. Read the rest of this entry »
Title: My Immortal
Author: Tara (reposted by the lovely internet trolls)
Media: Book / Movie
Topic: Harry Potter
Genre: Romance / angst
URL: My Immortal – Chapter Twenty-Three
Critiqued by Lyle
Good morning, everyone! I’m so glad to see that so many faces have actually come back now that we’re past the half-way point! Personally, I’m surprised to see myself back.
Anyway, let’s recap before diving head-long into this steaming pile of detritus!
In chapter 24, Ebony woke up to find a bunch of her friends crowding around her coffin. Crabbe and Goyle decided to dress pretty and we were introduced to a random girl named Jenny. Everyone went to the Great Hal, which is now apparently a fan favorite character. While there they spied on a sex-changed Cornelius Fudge and a woman named Doris who were telling Dumbledore that he was unfit to be the Headmaster anymore due to his senility. Dumbledore countered with the not-so-unexpected bomb that Ebony was the only person that could defeat Voldemort. Aaaaand… scene!
Title: A Moon’s twilight rewritten!
Media: Anime/Manga, Books
Topic: Sailor Moon + Twilight Crossover
Genre: None listed
URL: Chapters 1 and 2
Critiqued by Silky
Hello, patrons, and welcome to Silky’s therapy session the library’s first-ever Sailor Moon/Twilight crossover fic!
We do seem to have a lot of Twilight crossovers, though: two with Titanic (Twitanic and Twitanic: Blue Eyes), one with The Chronicles of Narnia (Sunshine), one with Batman (Who I Am), one with Mass Effect and Star Wars (Asari Healing), one with Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Slaying Forks), one with Fullmetal Alchemist (God has damd us all), one with Disney characters (Mythical Sisters), one with Star Trek (Stab my toe and hope to die), and one with everything you could ever imagine, and more (Kawaii Desu Vampire Sexy). Holy poopballs, that’s a lot of Twilight. And that doesn’t even count “Bella’s a Ghost whisper!” or the completely brainless alternate universe fic “A burning Rose.” And let’s not even start with “Forbiden Fruit: the temptation of Edward Cullen,” also known as “the fic where everyone screams and runs away for no reason and also there’s a man-carrot.” To date, the Library has covered thirteen Twilight fics, ten of which are crossovers.
So, why do fanfic writers like to write so many crossovers with Twilight?
Title: Devil May Cry 4: Remake
Media: Video Game
Topic: Devil May Cry
URL: Chapter Nine
Critiqued by SC
Hello, and welcome back to Lord of Hell Considers the Odds of Tearful Sadness, Fourth Element: Reconstituted, as transcribed by Faded Azure-hued Bolt of Zeus!
Or, Devil May Cry 4:Remake, by LightBlueLightning, for those of you who think I’m starting to run out of ideas.
I’m your host and guest-riffer, SC, and in the last two chapters, Isis got thrashed in ways that should have been fatal but oddly weren’t, we got insight into Isis and Ayla’s strained and possibly evil family life, the Sons of Sparda started displaying signs of sexual tension towards the Sues because the Sues are some gross breed of succubus who can get away with shit like that, and Dante got called a douchebag, which is less an insult than it is a character descriptor.
We’re back down to it being just Simon and I this week, as Maria is still recovering from chapter six, and Gabriel ducked out for his own sanity.
Simon: It’s pretty telling when the least trained member of a squad outlasts two of the strongest that squad has, don’t you think?
Yeah, and not in a good way.
Y’ello, illustrious Patrons!
Here I am with yet another chapter of Twitanic strangeness. In the last chapter we were treated to a very long and somewhat disjointed conversation between Edward and Rose where he disclosed the sparkleshame and informed Rose that there was a “treat” against her and Jack. He never got around to specifying exactly what the problem was, as he became distracted by half-assed exposition. The chapter ended with Rose leaving Jack, who was told nothing, at home with some of the friendly werewolves/shapeshifters outside for protection while she went to the Cullens’ house to (somehow) prove she wasn’t a threat. I’m hoping she proves how helpless she is by dying easily, thus preventing her character from being assassinated. That’s probably too much to hope for, though.
If this chapter is anything like the others … :fluffs headdesking pillow:
Best to be prepared.
Title: Mass Effected
Topic: Mass Effect
URL: Mass Effected: Chapter 5
Critiqued by Herr Wozzeck and Gumdrop
Well, patrons, here we are again.
Yep, we’re here. And I think you guys will be relieved to hear that after today’s installment, we’ll be done with Mass Effected. Yeah, it was pretty full of fail, but y’know what? At least it was short and sweet.
G: And tangy dessert?
Sitting in the fridge waiting to cool down. I made about ten pies for you.
Indeed. Well, patrons, I’m not up for waiting any longer, so let’s get to it, shall we?
“Alright, so I might have asked the Ninjas to fill in this week. It only seemed fair since they were not able to bring back the original critiqued by: field.”
Uh-huh. I’m not convinced they understood what you wanted because it says the criticism is being done by a crunchy taco.
“That is somewhat correct.”
I have some good news for everyone. Something actually happens in this chapter!
It’s pretty stupid and contrived, but hey, something happens, so I’ll take what I can get.
In any event, let’s start this week with something depressing:
AN: Thanks for all the reviews! Love them all! Glad you are all enjoying the story.
376 positive reviews…
*Crunchy weeps quietly to himself.*
Meanwhile, in the actual fic:
Read the rest of this entry »